quote: Only those who have experienced the process of becoming aware of important impulses that were repressed know the earthquakelike sense of bewilderment and confusion that occurs as a result. - Erich Fromm
Kay, hope you don't mind that I pulled out this little bit to reemphasize it.
This "bewilderment and confusion" is what those we care about will experience if we manage to get them to "wake up" from the scio cult experience. And it would behoove us to be prepared to help them through this when we can.: end quote
Don't mind at all. I'm glad I could help pinpoint.
I have a little story to share. I'm not sure where to put it or if it is relevant so I'll just put it here. Last night I found myself crying and weeping over an old family matter. To make a long story short, I was mixed up in the wrong crowd and lifestyle a few years back. I lost touch with some cousins and family. My aunt passed away and mother demanded that I not go to the funeral...as she thought I might disturb the funeral and people there (and maybe embarrass her). Anyway, I have certainly changed my life since then. I have reclaimed my dignity and self-respect and been able to reestablish most of my relationships with family and friends. Things are great to say the least. But, everytime there is a family event involving the cousins I lost touch with (it was their mother who died), I just get really depressed and emotional over it. So, anyway, there is a shower coming up and of course, I am expected to attend. I got all upset last night thinking about it. My husband helps me when I rarely get like this...his approach is very aggresive but it works. Anyway, after many tears, I realized that when I get in these family situations with that part of the family, I sink back into my old role of the black sheep...and I hate it. Why is it so hard for me to fight playing that role with this part of the family? Because my mother once validated and affirmed me as the black sheep when she wouldn't allow me to attend the funeral. So, there has been an true change here for me. All of a sudden, I don't want to run from the shower and other family events. And, I don't want to go just because I feel I must submit to torture and disdain like it is some sort of penance. I am not angry at my mother, my cousins or anyone else anymore. I guess I feel at most, I am angry at myself. But, really, I have already dealt with that anger and guilt in the other areas of my life...this isn't so different now. It used to appear as the great wide open sea of sadness that I just couldn't figure out. Now, I know why I have felt the way I have...and I know why I haven't been able to escape the role there.
Now, what the hell does this have to do with CoS? A) my old role is LIKE a thetan in way but guess what...it doesn't involve aliens or past lives and B) I didn't need an emeter, auditing or course to figure it out...just need some tough LOVE. C) didn't need a shrink either...I they'd would have beat around the bush too much to help me figure this one out.
Now for a quote. Happy Day.
"Whatsoever a man soweth that shall he also reap"