SCN According to Dr. Seuss
From: Chris Schafmeister (email@example.com
Subject: Scientology according to Dr. Seuss
Date: 1995-01-22 00:06:34 PST
"Scientology according to Dr. Seuss"
Age Golden of science fiction a man arrived on the scene.
His stories were less sciencey, more fiction and dream.
He didn't come in a car, he didn't come on a bike.
He didn't come in the pouch of a Stripedy Snike. He came on the back of a looping motor kite.
"A penny a word?", "of time that's a waste".
Too make a million dollars you must start your own faith.
So he trundled to his typewriter and banged out the beast.
The bible of scientology, in less than twelve weeks. "Clears never forget things or get sneezy seeps".
"Hold onto cans soupy on my past life machine".
"You'll think you are dirty and pay for soul clean".
"You'll make up past lives, past pains and past facts".
"You'll dream of froofroos and selenium snacks".
"You'll dream of emporer Xenu and his glittering shack".
"There's too many of you, you're crambled like sheep".
"There's no room for my fwoodles and thirteen toed fweep".
He tossed them in volcanoes head over feet.
He put big atom bombs all over the tops.
And then set them all off with very loud POPS.
Xenu bundled their souls in threes, fours and twos. He gathered them all, even little Timmy KoosKoos
and packaged them off to Los Palamoos.
"My cult will grow large and they'll pay lots of dues".
"They'll eat beans and rice and they'll never read news".
"They'll stare through red eyes wearing a toe crampity shoe".
"And sell lots of books by Thursday at two".
"The money will flow, a million a week".
"My shirts girls will wash, of soap they won't reek".
And then Hubbard grew crazy, grew old and he died.
And out of the ashes more rose to spread lies.
Tricksters through ages have followed one phrase.
There will always be people who will believe any craze.
[ I'd like to thank the genius of Dr. Seuss and "The Kids In the Hall" ]
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