Steve, your story is really important and so are you. If you ever feel suicidal again, please get in touch with one of the professionally trained suicide counselors in your area. I don't know if you're exactly in King County, but here are some of their listings: +WA&radius=0&latlng=47606388,-122330833,16743250939286908875,King County Suicide Services
If you are not in King County, do a google search for 'suicide' and your 'county'.
You may not be feeling suicidal at all now, so please ignore the information if you don't need it.
For someone who has been through what you've described in your posts you seem to have a pretty good grasp of what you don't want in your life, but don't yet have a firm grip on all the good things that are out there for you. I really applaud you for coming this far, starting a career, and for getting back with your family. I think it takes some courage to do that, though I can certainly see what pressure you feel from your aunt. And the temptation to go back to "the devil you know."
We all have that tendency at times in our lives, you are certainly not alone in that, it's human. Try to give yourself some credit for how far you've come and not be so hard on yourself for what you haven't
done yet. You're young, and have plenty of time to do the things you need and want to do. Outside of scientology there is no one telling you what to do and when to do it - that's freedom. That freedom can also be a rather scary thing if you haven't experienced it before. It's hard to walk away from something like you have, and good for you for having the strength it took to do it.
Keep us posted, Steve.