My story

Share your personal experiences with others. We're not here to judge or criticise, but to share and support.

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type 4
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My story

Post by type 4 » Wed Mar 22, 2006 1:40 am

1st post.
I have been lurking for a while, and couldn't resist to jump in.
First of all, it is a relief to see the truth expressed on this board. Admittedly, I have seen some posts that are off the mark, but this is not a campaign about that. There are some things I could definitely add to regarding technical messes, blows and other things, but that is for another post.
The unfortunate thing is that there is so much potential in the technology, but it is in corrupt dirty hands, that refuse to clean. And the oppression must stop. I still stand by the technology, however. It has immense value. Many factors go into its success, so if you got nothing from it, I acknowledge that. My hope is for the tech to get into clean hands so that it can be properly delivered.
Oh yeah, my story.
Well, I was in the group for many years, many years on staff, many years a techie.
I was one of the dedicated guys, one who worked countless hours each day and week for shit pay, and didn't complain. I had the personal conviction that this was my place in life, and that this group was going to change the world.
The outnesses I saw within the church were explained away by others or by myself. Foolish, stupid reasonableness, but not the kind you get put into lowers for. However, I noted them and remembered them.
What put it over the edge for me was coming to the end of my contract and seeing the lack of expansion, the injustices and stress over bullshit Knowledge Reports and trivial matters, the lack of personal progress up the Bridge, the lack of finance, the lack of a real home life, and in essence the lack of HAPPINESS, that asking the question "Is it worth it?" produced a resounding "NO". I saw too many recruit missions ripping off our veteran staff, too little pay to keep new staff around, constant musical chairs with the existing personnel to comply with some hot telex that just came into the org orchestrated by DM, ethics injustices that were plain villainy, and basically the place was not expanding and it wasn't worth it to me. I was sick of being a slave. And then to really pound it home, in trying to leave the employment ranks, I was given endless word clearing, overt pulling, study assignments, interviews, and TONS of pressure to stay on board. I was even ordered to pay out of my own pocket for this, thousands of dollars, much more than I made in a year working there. My own wishes were ignored, and being that I do have a spine, I held my ground and refused to comply. This sent the situation into a tail spin, with more falsity, lies and villifying of myself and my intentions than a Scientologist would believe, but here I see it would easily be believed. So, I backed out completely. Shortly after that I was declared suppressive. No regrets.
I am so appalled by the lack of compassion, honesty and sincerity on management lines, NAMELY AT THE TOP, DM (which trickles down just as it would in any group), that I will not refrain from chiming in with a common sentiment shared on this board. The light of truth must be shined on YOUR out-ethics, DM. Your cars, motorcycles, swimming pools, tennis courts and golf course are gross indicators of other crimes, and this board is revealing them one by one.
In clean hands this technology can do wonders. In your hands it has caused the tech to be corrupted in key areas, like what a floating needle is, what a Clear is, what it takes to get onto Advanced Courses, what it takes to finish a grade, and it goes on. Training an auditor now takes years instead of weeks like LRH directed. As for policy, you hide behind insistence of green and white, at the same time musical chairing and denying needed monies for proper staff pay through your extravagant spending. Endless legal battles are your motivator for pulling so many out-ethics stunts that add up to plain criminality and villainy. It will catch up with you, DM. I am certain of this.
It is a piece of sanity for me to see similar stories shared on this board. Thank you.
:)

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Ladybird
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Post by Ladybird » Wed Mar 22, 2006 1:52 am

Type 4 wrote: "It is a piece of sanity for me to see similar stories shared on this board. Thank you. "
My sentiments exactly! A very good description of some of the insanity that goes on inside the cult.

Welcome to the board! I hope we will hear more from you.

Ladybird

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Post by lulu_belle » Wed Mar 22, 2006 2:04 am

What she said.

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Post by opter » Wed Mar 22, 2006 5:29 am

Type 4

Welcome to OCMB.

I was on staff in a class 5 org. I agree with most of what you say and I hope you'll tell us more about your experience.

Opter

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Post by programmer_guy » Wed Mar 22, 2006 7:16 am

type 4 wrote: I was sick of being a slave.
Generally, that is what did it for me. I finally got sick of it.

I could also see that the WOG world had so much more to offer in freedom than the CofS ever would.

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Post by type 4 » Wed Mar 22, 2006 7:28 am

yes the freedom from that schedule is huge. the freedom from having to regret trivial acts and then "get them off" is huge. the freedom to do whatever the @##$!@ I want is huge. Am I more productive? Absolutely not. Am I more myself? Absolutely. I am a wild and crazy, and sometimes lazy, soul. I can freely do all I care to do and not look back. And I can kick my feet up, put a movie on, and drink a beer, whenever I want. I answer to no one. Only God can judge me.

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Post by programmer_guy » Wed Mar 22, 2006 7:50 am

type 4 wrote:yes the freedom from that schedule is huge. the freedom from having to regret trivial acts and then "get them off" is huge. the freedom to do whatever the @##$!@ I want is huge. Am I more productive? Absolutely not. Am I more myself? Absolutely. I am a wild and crazy, and sometimes lazy, soul. I can freely do all I care to do and not look back. And I can kick my feet up, put a movie on, and drink a beer, whenever I want. I answer to no one. Only God can judge me.
Well... it isn't absolute freedom. When one starts a career and gets a regular job, one still answers to their boss on getting a job finished.

You will eventually find out that all sorts of people will "judge" you quite frequently as to your performance, reliability, and honesty - in everyday life tasks and relationships.

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Post by Ladybird » Wed Mar 22, 2006 9:26 am

.
Type 4 said: "Am I more productive? Absolutely not. Am I more myself? Absolutely. I am a wild and crazy, and sometimes lazy, soul."
Oh yeah!...I am with you there Type 4! Don't mind Programmer guy, he has been out too long to revel in actually having a couple days off a week and vacations and benefits...no matter how "productive" you were in getting the stats up last week.

Did you ever have your libs cancelled because your stats were "only up from a downstat?" Duh?? ...you want I should have highest evers every week? How many particles can one person flow?

Now I decide how much production I want to produce.

I can read a book, watch TV, hang out on the Internet, go to the pool, go on vacation, go out to lunch, visit my kids and grandkids, walk my dogs, whatever I want whenever I want. And when I do work, I get paid for it! And I have a nice house and my own bathroom, and believe you me, I NEVER run out of toilet paper!

Toilet paper has to be a 3rd dynamic engram for scientologists across the planet.

Don't get me wrong, I think scientologists (the real true believers) are the nicest, hardest working people I ever met. We were not a bunch of whiners and complainers, those types quit fast.

It is just that once you figure out that you were giving your all to a scam, it is kind of upsetting.

But I have to admit, ex Staff, and especially Ex-Sea Org know how to work like dogs and live on nothing in order to make it go right.

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Post by Don Carlo » Wed Mar 22, 2006 5:31 pm

They must not be making it go really right, or their numbers would be expanding. Sendind out mail that gets thrown in the trash, harassing people on the internet, suing people and then being stunned by bad publicity - all highly ineffective. CoS had busy workers, but not effective ones.

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Post by Ladybird » Wed Mar 22, 2006 6:23 pm

Yes, you are correct, Don Carlo. It was all a really stupid waste of time in retrospect. But...we did manage to live all those years with no toilet paper, and if that isn't a constant PTP (present time problem) I don't know what is! :lol:

I guess I was thinking more on a individual basis, it is like being in boot camp for 20 or so years. You learn to push past your personal limits on things like food, sleep, time, etc. I guess it is all part of the indoctrination and mind control, but it is one good thing I have found useful in the real world.

It came at too high a price, and maybe I was destined to be a type A personality anyway.

There are no slackers in the Sea Org, that is another reason they are going to have a hard time recruiting todays teens. These kids are not going to give up their cell phones, computers and x-boxes, or the time to use them. They aren't going to like sharing a room with 10 strangers or a bathroom with 30 people.

DM made a major error when he implemented the "No kids in the sea org" rule in 1986. Now there is no second generation who are used to living like that.

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Re: My story

Post by mickwenlock » Wed Mar 22, 2006 6:58 pm

type 4 wrote:1st post.
I have been lurking for a while, and couldn't resist to jump in.The unfortunate thing is that there is so much potential in the technology, but it is in corrupt dirty hands, that refuse to clean. And the oppression must stop. I still stand by the technology, however. It has immense value. Many factors go into its success, so if you got nothing from it, I acknowledge that. My hope is for the tech to get into clean hands so that it can be properly delivered. :)
It is good to see you posting but I have to disagree with you completely about the value of the "tech".

It has been around for 50 years,Hubbard worked at it, announced breakthrough after breakthrough after breakthrough. Legions of success stories, you could paper the Vatican with all the success stories.

And despite it all - what? A management that cannot even manage to get along with people, a church which oozes contempt for everyone - even it's own members. Despite all the auditing and OT levels there hasn't been a shred of evidence that anyone - especially in the SO - has any courage at all. There have been no humanitarian breakthroughs, the Church of Scientology has not impacted for the better ANY segment of society.

You can try and divorce all these results from the "tech" but I think you are fooling yourself.

DM is a result of the tech - he is not some wild aberration. The tech enables him. Do you see any of the Sea Org "officers" actually confronting him and calling him to book? ROFLMAO!

In the Lisa McPherson tragedy Sea org people, Flag auditors and CSes stood by while a young woman died. Any one of them - at any time - could have dialled 911 and got her taken to a hospital for emergency care. None of them did. Not one of these people had the guts to take care of a very sick person. They were afraid.

This is not some happenstance result. This is the RESULT of Scientology auditing and training.

Tom Cruise and his ludicrous antics is a Scientology product.

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Post by SchwimmelPuckel » Thu Mar 23, 2006 12:38 am

Accepting and believing that one has a reactive mind logically invalidates ones own thinking. A 'tech' that 'hammers' this 'correct' technology in between the damned folds of you brain every day invalidates your own thinking more.

This 'mindtrap' works the same in the original 'unconcious mind' described by Freud. The difference is that when you study Freud you will have time aftewards to overcome the sad loss of you own cognitive reliability. Coming to the realization that you function ok after all. Even realizing: Hey! - I'm not hampered by my unconcious mind, maybe I don't have one!

$cientology tech works to prevent you from having this realization about the 'reactive mind'. Without paying at least. Regges to ensure that you buy more service and get in session fast. Indeed, anyone off the cans for a couple of days are PTS or maybe even SP's. That's in a tech bulletin somewhere. Teaching you to consider 'banky' behavior bad... Hey! - The reactive mind is hidden. You do not KNOW what's banky! - This 'tech' makes you watch yourself, when you do not have such an ability.

Before 'Ethics', and before Scientology there was Dianetics. Enthusiastic people back then accepted their 'unfortunate' condition as 'aberrees' with humour. It was nothing serious and there was Dianetics to handle it. Catch the feel of it reading The Aberree, a 'zine, or newletter, published from 1954 through 1965.

However. Note that the Clear cognition is: "I mocked up my own reactive mind!" :onebounce:
[i]Ask not what [url=http://www.lermanet.com][color=blue]Scientology[/color][/url] can do for you, ask what the F*arck! is going on.[/i]

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Post by Don Carlo » Thu Mar 23, 2006 2:15 am

Maybe the reactive mind that CoS is trying to destroy is one's "gut feeling" that CoS is a con game.

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Post by magoo1 » Thu Mar 23, 2006 6:02 am

I am so appalled by the lack of compassion, honesty and sincerity on management lines, NAMELY AT THE TOP, DM (which trickles down just as it would in any group), that I will not refrain from chiming in with a common sentiment shared on this board. The light of truth must be shined on YOUR out-ethics, DM.
WOOOOO HOOOOOO!!!

Amen!

Thanks for posting your story, and I look forward to hearing more.

My best to you, :wink:

Tory/Magoo~~ 8)

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Post by funkmr » Thu Mar 23, 2006 6:05 am

type 4,

Welcome to the boards. Thank you for sharing your story and you have my assurances that you are in the correct place. This is truly a wonderful community. Please stick around. Once again, welcome to the board.
www.lisamcpherson.org

R.I.P. Lisa, we will never forget you or stop speaking up for you.

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