I tought I was doing better but crashed again. I have a recurrent dream even if the setting might be somehow different its always the same thing. I'm back in the SO not by choice. My last dream was so bad I woke up screaming. I was looking for one of my children. I couldnt find her. My other kid told me he wanted to stay there. I had lost everything I had work for and felt completely trapped. When I woke up screaming it was because I felt so desperate and in my dream I tought it wasnt a dream than convinced myself it was once and scream for it to be a dream
I have found this on the internet. Steve Hassan contributed to it.
I have been wondering about my anxiety disorder. Now I know without a doubt where its coming from. I have the profile to a T. Come from an acoholic family (my father), joined a cult and the rest, well, you know.
PTSD is very common for those that joined a cult and left. The recurrent dream is one symptom of it. Anxiety is the most common disorder of ex cult members.
anyway, here is the link. I didnt want to write here first but figured it might help some lurkers if they wonder what the fuck is happening to them like it did to me. And still does.
http://www.freedomofmind.com/resourcece ... -cuddy.htm
I'm not interested to constantly relived what happened to me than. I have done it for years and I cant say it did not help me. But at this point, I feel like a broken record but this might be of help to some people. I know the nightmare of living with anxiety.
And its OK to take medication if you feel you are going to completely lose it that you have lost control over your mind and body. I have to say that caue I KNOW how scientology convinced people that psychiatry is evil. Its not. Believe me.
Do what you want with this info.