Here's the latest letter ChaoticPsychotic is sending to her parents.
http://forums.enturbulation.org/7-gener ... ead-29157/
Hello my dear friends,
I have composed the letter that I will send to my parents at the end of the week once I feel I have enough messages from you all to send along with it. If you don't know what I am talking about click this link to see:Please take a minute! I need help...
So here goes...
Hello Mom and Dad,
You might be wondering why it is you have heard nothing from me since the blow up. The reason is, I am at a loss for what to do or say next. This is foreign territory for me. I miss you both and the boys terribly. I hope you realize how much I really love you.
After much pondering, I finally decided to follow my heart. What I am hoping to accomplish is to find a chink in your armor so to speak. I have not succeeded yet. I am hoping that this next venture may get through to you when previous attempts have not. I have gone into the forums where I posted my story and I have asked people to throw in their 2 cents. I am having a hard time articulating my thoughts and reasons that I so desperately want to see you leave this group. I do not want to deny you your own wins and gains simply because I have never had any of my own. I do want to deny you the entrapment that has bound you and kept you from having a truly enjoyable and fulfilling life.
How is it that you can be so intelligent but not see through the farce? I wonder. Perhaps it is because you are so immersed in it all you are never allowed the opportunity to take a step away and breathe. Perhaps it is because you have invested so much of your lives in it that it will be very hard to admit that you have been fooled. But you can do it. Many others before you have. Others who even made it to the top of the Grade Chart. Think of what they must have invested in it.
I implore you to poke around. Even crack open OEC Vol 0 and start to compare the policies in it to the reality of what goes on in your Org. Start with the fact that Mom is NOT EVEN QUALIFIED to hold her post. It was supposed to be TEMPORARY. How is 3 or more years “temporary”? Heck, what about the fact that I have displayed many signs of being a Suppressive Person, yet I have not been issued a Comm EV, Non-Enturb order or even a Declare? Doesn’t that somehow violate the ethics and justice policies which you are supposed to be bound to by LRH’s writings? Look around you, start with the small outpoints and work your way up to confronting the larger ones. This is what this is about. You are refusing to even look. You are refusing to even accept the possibility that I might be onto something here. Here’s another interesting bit of food for thought, how is it that all of the ex-SO members I know ask the same question – “How is it that every single event shows that worldwide the stats are going up but up at management’s level, they are always going down and people are always getting screamed at for being downstat and having downstat Orgs underneath them?”
What about the fact that you are constantly made out to be a criminal. You have to constantly write up your transgressions against others. You have to get sec-checked continually as you progress up the Bridge. You can work so hard and give so much and at any time some exec somewhere up above can arbitrarily decide that you are just not good enough to go on to the next OT level. What the fuck? Would you really let some stranger decide for you that you are not deserving of your spiritual freedom? Never mind the sheer cost of it all. Dad, how many people have you seen take out a second mortgage on their home or sell their business or stocks and bonds just to pay for the next intensive to get them perhaps 200 hours closer to “Clear”? How many cases have you seen that are “mishandled” or “spun in” because people are not applying the Tech in a correct fashion. What about the dynamics? Has your 1st Dynamic or 2nd Dynamic ever been truly allowed to come before the 3rd? I thought it was supposed to start with ONE. What about Hubbard’s 2D? How many wives did he have? Didn’t he die divorced? The man could not even practice what he preached. Why not?
You cannot tell me that you are happy with the fact that you have put in countless hours and money and blood, sweat and tears with nothing to show for it but a few certs and commendations. Well you could tell me that you’re happy – but I would not accept that for a second. I am trying to get you guys to see that there is something quite fundamentally WRONG with the life this cult has dictated you live. Granted, there are good things that you have done for others, there are good things that others have done for you. I am not trying to say that every Scientologist is horrible. I am trying to say that above the basic level of Volunteer Ministers and Second Chance and Narconon and Study Tech groups – shit is going on that is VERY BAD.
Mom, you of all people should understand where I am coming from. Did you own mother not turn the other way when your father molested you for all those years? Did you eventually become so hurt and angry by the way that he treated you that you finally had to cut him out of your life? Well, that’s kind of where I am coming from. You guys are pouring your lives into a very evil organization that has done such wrong to so many thousands of people, myself included. The saddest part is, you won’t look at it from my viewpoint. I have 2 problems, the first being that I want to see you and the boys out from under this giant that is squashing the life out of you, the second is that I am so very hurt and betrayed by the fact that you two are siding with this group who has never given you the love or support that I have. Mom, did anyone from the Org come to sleep with you every night while you were in the hospital? Or jeez, what about when Ben was in the hospital? Hey Dad, what about when you were in the hospital? Has anyone in the cult ever bought groceries or paid the rent when you were hard up? Has anyone in the cult ever tried to help you sort your business out properly and get it going so that you could actually profit instead of flounder? Maybe I am wrong – maybe the cult has helped you out far more than I ever have. Maybe I am delusional. I am being quite honest here though, this is the way that I see things.
Mom, I am sorry that I will not be attending Rick’s service. It has been extremely difficult for me this past month. I am in tears at least once a day. I cannot see you and behave in a manner befitting of such an occasion. I also really do not want to see Mickey. Bruce understands, I talked to him about it.
Dad, thanks for calling Damon and leaving a message trying to help us solve our mortgage problem. Don’t worry, we will work it out. We are in the process of wrapping up our remodel to put our house up for sale so that we can move to Indiana.
It really kind of feels like you guys are trying to establish some sort of handling for the flap that is ME though and I don’t really appreciate it. That may not be the case but it kind of reeks of “good roads, fair weather”. I want to be real with you and I want you to be real with me. If you are fed up with me trying to get you to see things from my perspective then just tell me to shut up and I will leave it alone and walk away. Don’t try to gloss things over again.
If you think that you might be prepared to look into what it is I am talking about, I want you to read the messages from all of the people which I have enclosed for you. I want you to peruse the internet and just start seeking out some answers. Some good websites for starters are: Enturbulation.org, Ex Scientologist Message Board - Powered by vBulletin, exscientologykids.com, Chuck Beatty: Internet Posts, Stop Scientology Abuses | You Found The Card , FACTnet : Cult, Cults, Abuse by Religions, Abuse Recovery Discussion & Resources, Peer-Support, Legal support, Scientology Disconnection - Personal stories, current practices, official policies, public relations, Scientology
Some sites obviously have to be taken with a grain of salt. But hey, someone also once said, “Don’t believe everything you read”. Why is that not an issue when it is something by Ron that is being read?
I know that I risk losing you guys forever and the thought of that makes me sicker than you could imagine. I need you in my life. I need to see you snap out of it long enough to try to see things from where I stand. I am begging you. Remember, you guys created me. Look at how strong willed and stubborn I am. Look at how passionate I am about what I believe. Where do you think I got that from? Look at what a loving person I am. I would never try to hurt you, I just feel like I need to burn you a little to get you to notice the fire raging before you.
Mom and Dad, I really hope you take notice before it’s too late.
I await the day that I get the phone call from you asking my help in getting you out of this trap. I will never ever stop loving you.