My story from my Exit Therapy

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Wieber
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Post by Wieber » Fri Apr 25, 2008 7:26 pm

One thing I really hated was after I had left they kept coming after me.

I had reached a point where I didn’t have what it took to route in the number of bodies they wanted. One day I was out on the street checking out the crowds, going corner to corner and all. By this time the body routing crew was down to one – me. I was the director of the department and everyone else had worked their way out of there.

I was it. I had been forced to sign a contract against my will. The HCO Sec took me to this little room where the ED was waiting. He was abusive and abrasive. He said a lot of nasty things about me and each and every one of my family. He forced me to sign a second agreement to join staff, so I had to stay. Then a week or so later another person had me sign the contract and routed me on staff. I signed for a course that cost $400. On the way to the course room I was intercepted by the ED and made to go on post. I never got to the course room again.

So I was doing the corner to corner thing all by myself and I kept seeing this girl. So finally I went up and asked her to do a personality test. She asked to buy me a coffee.

She had been the girl friend of one of the staff who was a friend of another of the staff who had been declared SP and routed off.

Long story short, she and I had a very brief and very shallow relationship. My roommate, who never did pay his share of the rent, filed a knowledge report on me. My stats had been crashing. I was subjected to a committee of evidence and routed off staff.

Finally I was allowed to leave and go home. I went to work for in a store was on that was on one corner of the block. The org in that city at that time was across the street two blocks down. It didn’t take the staff in that org long to find me.

I paid off my freeloader debt and had already worked through the conditions before the committee of evidence had been convened. The freeloader debt was $400 for the course I never took and $1000 for an intensive of a confessional otherwise known as a security check or sec check.

I’m feeling some deja vu like I’ve been over this before, but if I have I’m telling it again. If I repeat myself then you can skip ahead.

I was to handle my PTS condition with my family, so they would not be antagonistic and I could get back on the bridge. I visited the org there to work on that. Some of the people I had known in the other city had come there and were on staff.

One woman from the sea org was there on some kind of a mission. I’m going to get abusive here because I feel that way. Berate me if you want. She was a fat ugly broad that smoked dark brown thin cigarettes. At first she seemed nice and friendly. All sea org members do. Then they get f**king awful. If you are ex sea org, just own up to the fact that you were one of Ron's pricks. That's putting it mildly you should see what I just edited out. I have issues.

So I go in the org one day and it’s a Wednesday night and this fat broad is going up to people trying to get someone with money to put it into the org so she can get the gross income stat up probably so she can complete her mission and get out of there. She comes to me and this is the second time this happened. She says, “How much money have you got in the bank?”

I dodge the question. “How much money have you got in the bank?”

I say I don’t want to answer. “How much money have you got in the bank?”

“How much money have you got in the bank?”

“I’ll repeat the registrar command. How much money have you got in the bank?”

So I finally tell her, “Seven hundred dollars.” I had been saving up to have some money. When you’re in scientology having money you don’t give the org is a high crime.

“Write me a cheque for that amount. You can keep a couple of dollars in the account to keep it open.”

“I don’t have a cheque.”

“Here’s a counter cheque.”

“I don’t have a chequing account.”

(Sigh), “Then get the cash and bring it in tomorrow before two o’clock.”
Part of her rhetoric here was, “you want this service, don’t you? If you flow money into your theta account your universe will open up and things like your PTS handling will go smoother. Outflow equals inflow. This is the greatest good for the greatest number of dynamics.”

So I kept my money. I didn’t take the $700 out of my account and give it to the org. At about ten after two a staff member came over and scolded me severely for not complying. I guess the org’s gross income stat was down and I felt awful about this, in the sense that I felt a great deal of anxiety and guilt, which by the way, I still feel right now to some extent. (I am now editing this some time after it was written and am happy to say I don't feel guilty at all about it. I wish I knew how to write that raspberry sound.)

So I stayed away for two or three weeks and then went in again. I was given several policy letters and bulletins to study and was then word cleared on them. They gave me credit on the word clearing and the bill for that came to about $270. The policy letters and bulletins were the core of what would become the PTS SP course.

I read all this stuff and word cleared it and then went to see the ethics officer, who never once used any of the references I had read. The policy letters said the ethics officer in her interview would ask this and drill that and do this and so on, none of which she did. I found this strange, but hey, $270 debt for word clearing.

So I was to go home and bring up the subject and for the fiftyeth time argue through this to get my family to not be antagonistic so I could go on the bridge.

Then one night I was watching TV and there was something on about scientology and how bad it was, or something that the guardian’s office was stirring up. I thought to myself, “fuck this. I give up on that.”

Now get this. At this point I was away, not out. I still thought scientology was great. I still thought that L. R. Hubbard was a wonderful, loving, friendly, caring, giving, altruistic man. I still thought that until about recently, when I read Barefaced Messiah.

But I had had it up to here with the bull shit. I couldn’t take it any more. So I decided to stay away. In retrospect it would have been nice to have had an intervention, but that was something that was not well developed yet, and even now I think that very few people know about that. But now there is the internet. Go to www.xenu.net and read everything there and go to all the linked sites as well.

Periodically I would get a visit from a staff member looking for money from me. The first time this happened, I had been working hard at my job and getting a lot of things done. The day was nice, we had been doing well, the boss was off my case, and I felt really good. Then a guy from the org came over and started in with me about how this was the only way, that I knew it was the only way, that I needed to handle and blah blah blah blah blah. When he left I felt like a bag of horse shit.

This happened a few more times. One day I didn’t recognize the guy until he was at the counter. I said, “hello,” and he started in. It got so I could not relax at work or take a chance on feeling good. Every time I felt really good one of these jokers would show up and then I would feel like shit again. I always had to have an eye out for these guys.

One day, a guy who had stolen a lot of my stuff came in. I brought that up. He said that he had only taken stuff to compensate for money I owed him and the org had agreed to that. (In scientology if you have a gripe with someone else who is in, you can’t take legal action against them. You have to get it handled in house.) So now he was a field staff member and he wanted me to be his selectee, or client. He gave me his card and told me to call him from time to time and let me know how I was doing. When he left I threw his card in the garbage.

I got so when one of these people came in the store I would duck into the basement or if they started to talk to me I would say I was very busy and had work that I had to do right now and go to the basement.

One day a person I had known in college came in. I thought he was a scientologist, which he wasn't, and blew him off. I was rather rude to him. He has probably told everyone else I was in class with what a schmuck I am. I only figured out after he left that he was from another time and place and not a scientologist. If I ever meet him again I have som apologizing to do.

Most of the times this happened with org staff coming over to see me was on Wednesday afternoons. I guess they would get sent over to see me fishing for stats.

Eventually the org changed location and they stopped bugging me as often as they did when they were across the street. Later on when I went back for a brief period of time as a ‘public person’ I was under the impression that things had changed and been improved. Just goes to show how wrong you can be.

I’m going to deliberately repeat myself. Things in scientology are bad because L. R. Hubbard intentionally designed them to be that way.
“Think wrongly if you please, but in all cases think for yourself.”
Doris Lessing

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Wieber
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Post by Wieber » Fri Apr 25, 2008 7:28 pm

I am going through my writings and copying, pasting and editing so they can be here for people to read. In doing that I have a feeling I may repeat myself. I hope you will not be too upset with me if I do that.
“Think wrongly if you please, but in all cases think for yourself.”
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Wieber
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Post by Wieber » Fri Apr 25, 2008 7:34 pm

I’m in trouble now. Actually I’m not, but if I were still “in” I would be. See for a while I studied astronomy. I bought the monthly magazine with that name, watched anything on TV on the subject, and there was a very good series on one of the educational channels, and I read some books on it.

So one day in the org, these two guys are talking about the planets and one of them said something about a space craft landing on Jupiter. So I walked up to them and said, “You can’t land on Jupiter.”

He asked, “Why not?”

I said, “Because Jupiter is a gas giant.”

This brought on a mild staring at the ceiling episode with these two, but they soon snapped out of it. “What’s a gas giant?”

So I explained to them that the planet Jupiter was about 98% gaseous and that the gasses were in motion at several thousand miles an hour and maybe the planet had a solid or rocky core. Nevertheless it is a gas giant, as is Saturn and you cannot land on it.

That was some time ago.

Today, on the internet I was looking at videos. One of them had audio of L. R. Hubbard’s lectures on the higher levels not available to most. Here’s what the old fart had to say about Jupiter. Ready?

“And although I don’t think you’d have very much pleasure out of kissing a girl from Jupiter – that’s a heavy gravity planet – uh, if you stepped on the planet Jupiter in one of these meat bodies that you presently have you’d become a pancake promptly you see. And what atmosphere it has lies in seas of liquid air and so on. You might say this is somewhat rigorous as an environment, not completely similar to Russia but uh. So you do get these various variations. And uh, it’s not all that horrifying however. You find somebody running round the planet Jupiter he’d be built to withstand that climatic uh condition and that gravitic condition and so forth and his legs might be a bit modified and his arms and that sort of thing but he probably would look like an Eskimo.” Elaraitch.

So this is on the upper levels somewhere. Those two guys, if they’re unfortunate enough to stay in and get to the level where they listen to this lecture they are going to remember me telling them Jupiter is a gas giant, and you can’t land on it. The best case scenario coming out of that is that they go look up gas giant in some astronomy book and come to the realization that L. R. Hubbard is full of shit and then get the hell out of there.

The worst case scenario is that they go to ethics because of what I said, and then get sent to qual (qualifications division) where they get false data stripping on what I said and what is in the astronomy texts and then get back on the lecture and continue on into the L. R. Hubbard mind fuck.

False data stripping is something I have no experience with. However, as far as I can tell it is a process whereby a person examines what he knows or has been taught or has studied or has learned and then assigns falseness to those parts of it that are false. This frees him to learn correct data. This is more brain washing, in my opinion. In this case false and correct are defined from scientology's view.

So these two in the worst case will be convinced that what I told them about Jupiter is false and what L. R. Hubbard tells them about Jupiter is true. On the subject of astronomy who are you going to believe – L. R. Hubbard or Carl Sagan? It’s your choice.

Now when you read the above quote you can clearly see that L. R. Hubbard was a royal fuckwit.
“Think wrongly if you please, but in all cases think for yourself.”
Doris Lessing

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Post by Gladiator » Fri Apr 25, 2008 11:21 pm

Wieber wrote: I had been forced to sign a contract against my will. The HCO Sec took me to this little room where the ED was waiting. He was abusive and abrasive. He said a lot of nasty things about me and each and every one of my family. He forced me to sign a second agreement to join staff, so I had to stay. Then a week or so later another person had me sign the contract and routed me on staff. I signed for a course that cost $400. On the way to the course room I was intercepted by the ED and made to go on post. I never got to the course room again.



So I go in the org one day and it’s a Wednesday night and this fat broad is going up to people trying to get someone with money to put it into the org so she can get the gross income stat up probably so she can complete her mission and get out of there. She comes to me and this is the second time this happened. She says, “How much money have you got in the bank?”
I dodge the question. “How much money have you got in the bank?”
I say I don’t want to answer. “How much money have you got in the bank?”
“How much money have you got in the bank?”
“I’ll repeat the registrar command. How much money have you got in the bank?”
So I finally tell her, “Seven hundred dollars.” I had been saving up to have some money. When you’re in scientology having money you don’t give the org is a high crime.
“Write me a cheque for that amount. You can keep a couple of dollars in the account to keep it open.”



Periodically I would get a visit from a staff member looking for money from me. The first time this happened, I had been working hard at my job and getting a lot of things done. The day was nice, we had been doing well, the boss was off my case, and I felt really good. Then a guy from the org came over and started in with me about how this was the only way, that I knew it was the only way, that I needed to handle and blah blah blah blah blah. When he left I felt like a bag of horse shit.


I’m going to deliberately repeat myself. Things in scientology are bad because L. R. Hubbard intentionally designed them to be that way.
Amen.

I have chosen the above sections from your post, because they exemplify perfectly that it is far from just David Miscavige or Mike Rinder, and a few other guys at the top, who deserve jail time in $cientology, whilst everybody else underneat them are "poor, innocent victims"

$cientology is rotten to the core, and is designed to produce criminals, totally without a conscience, like those briefly described by you, above,
at ALL levels, throughout the organization.
As it is also designed to ensure that the most criminals and heartless, will be the ones who will raise above the ranks, because they are the ones who will " Rob the greatest amounts of money across the dynamics "for the benefit of the 1 person sitting at the top.

The least good for the least amount of dynamics.

Just read again the above extracts, and see the level of criminality and insanity, that these sick individuals consider a normal part of their every day life.

It is breathtaking, when you stop a moment to consider it.

Anyone of these disturbed and criminal individuals, would be like Miscavige or Rinder, if they managed to get to the top, and they are pretty much like them anyway, just on a much smaller scale, which allows them to go largely unnoticed, from the general public, not because they are better or less criminals than Miscavige, or Rinder, but just because their position in the $cientology hierarchy, does not allow them to harm the same number of people, otherwise they would.

The honest individuals, within $cientology, are mainly the " low stats "
" CULTS ARE SOUL STEALERS "

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Post by Gladiator » Fri Apr 25, 2008 11:32 pm

Wieber wrote:“I’ll repeat the registrar command. How much money have you got in the bank?”

The registrar command ????? :shock: :shock: :shock:

How I wish they could ask me these questions now . . . :twisted:
" CULTS ARE SOUL STEALERS "

Gladiator
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Post by Gladiator » Fri Apr 25, 2008 11:44 pm

Wieber wrote: “And although I don’t think you’d have very much pleasure out of kissing a girl from Jupiter – that’s a heavy gravity planet – uh, if you stepped on the planet Jupiter in one of these meat bodies that you presently have you’d become a pancake promptly you see. And what atmosphere it has lies in seas of liquid air and so on. You might say this is somewhat rigorous as an environment, not completely similar to Russia but uh. So you do get these various variations. And uh, it’s not all that horrifying however. You find somebody running round the planet Jupiter he’d be built to withstand that climatic uh condition and that gravitic condition and so forth and his legs might be a bit modified and his arms and that sort of thing but he probably would look like an Eskimo.” Elaraitch.

So this is on the upper levels somewhere.
Yep, it was in one of the Philadelphia Doctorate Course lectures, one of the many occasions when a bunch of adoring morons, were gasping and clapping and feeling in awe, for whatever sci fi bs Ron was telling them, because if HE was saying it, it had to be true.

:shock: :kneesucker: :pottytrain:
" CULTS ARE SOUL STEALERS "

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Post by Wieber » Sat Apr 26, 2008 2:14 am

I’m feeling a little low right now.

It dawned on me as to some of the magnitude of the crime committed by L. R. Hubbard by and through scientology. Added to his own personally committed crimes are all the crimes committed by and for scientology.

They just pile up: fraud, extortion, murder, smuggling, assault, brain washing, slavery, child abuse, forced abortions, kidnapping, harassment, espionage, conspiracy, quackery and more. From what I have read and some of what I've seen scientology, in my opinion has committed those crimes.

I’m feeling low because I was part of that and contributed to it. I didn’t know all this until just recently and my involvement to a large degree was because I was brainwashed. Nevertheless I feel bad about what I contributed to the detriment of others.

The only saving grace is that while I was in the level of my participation was largely incompetent. I was not a very good scientologist. Nevertheless I must have handed out at least seventy-thousand promotional pieces for personality tests. I dragged in an estimated five thousand people off the street to take the test. I sold fifty or sixty dianetics books and I sold a package of auditor courses to one individual.

If anyone has come to harm because of what I did while I was “in” I am truly sorry.
“Think wrongly if you please, but in all cases think for yourself.”
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Post by Ladybird » Sat Apr 26, 2008 2:33 am

I understand Wieber. I am so very sorry too. I have apologised and done all I can to try to make amends. Just remember, we were used. I was sent all over because I was pretty and had big boobs. I recruited lots of people. I really believed I was helping, and most of the scientologists I know are very wonderful people who have huge help buttons.

I have read all your posts here, and you have helped me a lot by writing your story.

A big huge hug from my heart to yours!
[i]"There is nothing as wild in the books of Man as will probably happen here on Earth...it will happen and be allowed to happen simply because all this is so incredible that nobody will even think of stopping it until it is far, far too late"~LRH[/i]

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Post by Dunvegan » Sat Apr 26, 2008 2:56 am

Everyone's made mistakes.

Extraordinary people make amends.

You meant to to good things. Your good intentions were hijacked by a criminal...Hubbard and his "philosophy."

I've been riveted to your posts for the past several days, Wieber.

It's a book.

And a good one.

Thank you for what you're doing here.

I'm grateful for your story/cautionary tale/insight, and your writing style. Its most compelling and a valuable education.
Last edited by Dunvegan on Sat Apr 26, 2008 2:22 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Post by Benny's Friend » Sat Apr 26, 2008 3:14 am

Wieber, do you realize what your writings here represent? Your words are a life line to exiting Scientologists struggling to deal with a reality that is shaking them to their core. You are an island of safety for them. You've been there, done that, and your confusions are their confusions. Your climb out of darkness is their climb out of darkness.

It can't be easy for you to tread this ground, but my friend, you are helping people in a way that many of us can't. No need to feel bad. You are a life saver.
The more who speak out, the more who get out.

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Post by Don Carlo » Sat Apr 26, 2008 4:31 am

Wieber, you're part of the solution now. You're a lifeboat to a staff member in despair about how to quit.

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Post by Wieber » Sat Apr 26, 2008 11:11 am

Thank you for your support. I have approximately another 230 pages of this stuff. I'll be posting most of it here and in the essay thread until it's all on this message board. If you know of anyone who gets out because of this it would make my day to know about it.
“Think wrongly if you please, but in all cases think for yourself.”
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Post by Gladiator » Sat Apr 26, 2008 11:57 am

Wieber wrote: I’m feeling low because I was part of that and contributed to it. I didn’t know all this until just recently and my involvement to a large degree was because I was brainwashed. Nevertheless I feel bad about what I contributed to the detriment of others.

The only saving grace is that while I was in the level of my participation was largely incompetent. I was not a very good scientologist.
Cheer up my friend, that is what I meant by saying that the honest $cientologists are mainly the " low stats ".

Their consciences are still working, and even if they cannot figure out what they are really part of, they can SENSE that something is not quite
right, that something is fundamentally wrong, and they resist becoming a full, unconditional part of this scam.

Deep down, their consciences can SENSE that they are being lied to, and that deceiving, manipulating and harming people is not what they had joined $cientology for; they had joined because they thought they were helping the world becoming a better place, and they have not contributed to it out of malevolence, like most of those who raise through the ranks, but because their good intentions had been hijacked, and were manipulated with endless lies with good trs, whilst being kept in an artificial reality, which didn't allow them to know anything else, than what they were fed by the malevolent cult.

Deep down, they can still sense that, in spite of all the smoke screens, the pretenses and claims to the contrary, all this constant dishonesty, manipulations and ruthlessness, cannot truly be the way to build a betterworld, and the way of genuinely ethical and caring people.

It just cannot be.

It is truly difficult to convey what being in $cientology, and being constantly subjected to these manipulations and lies, is really like, to someone who has never been through it, but you, and anyone else who has experienced them personally, will understand exactly what I mean.

BUT, I can tell you that you are VERY UPSTAT in your OCMB post :D

What you are writing here is damaging the criminal cult, far beyond whatever harm you may have unwittingly caused to others whilst in, and now you are truly in a position where you can help others for real, without any need for all the covert manipulations, lies and deceptions that you had to endure, and be part of, when you were in.

Keep shining the light of truth on this criminal cult, and help bringing it down, I cannot think of any better way to make up for whatever harm you
might have caused to yourself and others whilst in.

The best way of making the world a truly better place, is to rid it of $cientology and all the other malevolent cults and organizations like it.
" CULTS ARE SOUL STEALERS "

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Post by Wieber » Sat Apr 26, 2008 4:39 pm

Thanks for that, Gladiator. I must tell you that what you are reading here was not written with any altruistic intent. The main reason I wrote this stuff was to sort out for myself what I had gone through. Deciding to share it came later. If it is helping people I am very happy about that. If it helps to shrivel the cult then I think that's a good thing. If it helps get anyone out, I'd like to know about it because like I said, that would make my day.
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Post by Wieber » Sun May 04, 2008 7:26 am

I have told the following a couple of times. I think what is here is the first time I wrote it and probably the most detailed telling. If it's repeat material for you just skip it.

I’m just going over some of the events that occurred after I got “out.”

I was in process of getting back into scientology – something I should never have done, but I wasn’t “out” yet. I was away.

I was at home one evening and decided to put on a DVD I had bought. By the way this is some prequel to leaving. I had put the movie on and was just getting into it for a few minutes. It was about 10 p.m. The doorbell rang. Now who could that be?

I went to the door and there were two people from the local org. I felt violated, like I wasn’t safe in my own home. I think that was one of the points they were trying to make. The other thing that came to mind was that here they were assessing my net worth to see what I had that the org could take. Of course I put the thought stopping techniques to work on that one toot sweet.

So they both look around and take it all in. I imagine strippers when they take it all off in front of a horny male audience must feel akin to the way I felt just then. So the one says, “I see you have been applying the conditions.” Then the next question was more direct and leading. “Do you own your own house?” I said that no, I didn’t.

So then they said they were there to talk about my next service and how I was to go up the bridge and what were my future plans and maybe I would be on staff and of course that would be the greatest good for the greatest good and how are you doing on course and you will soon be doing the catechism and isn’t all this great.

So eventually they got up to leave. On the way out the other looks at my shelf full of DVD movies, which must have seemed like excessive largess to one who makes $40 or less a week and that one says, “Huh, you have a lot of movies.” And if I were to sell them for ten dollars each that would be . . . uh huh . . . carry the two . . .

Later there was a fund raising event and one of the people at it said, “Does anyone want to mortgage their house?” I think that was pointed at me, but I refrained from holding up my hand and yelling, “Oh me! Me!”

So later came the recruiting event, which I believe I covered earlier. So I left that event because I didn’t want to sign the agreement to contribute a minimum of five hours a week and later join staff. When I left I had every intention of going back. My family member intervened, thank God. I guess there must be one and no, she isn’t a scientologist, not by a long shot.

When my family member was intervening they asked me about various things. I told about the above where the two people had been to the house. I said I thought they were there to assess how much money they could get out of me. Bingo. I said I had the feeling that the intention that they had was that I sell everything I owned and then give all the money I had to scientology and then join staff and work in slave conditions until my dying day. Bingo.

I still wasn’t “out.” But I started reading the stuff on the internet. I read the essays by Tory Christman on her web site: www.torymagoo.org. Then I read some of Arnie Lerma’s web site: www.lermanet.com. I checked out the material on www.xenu.net. I read articles on Wikipedia: www.wikipedia.org. Then I read about half of Bare-Faced Messiah: The True Story of L. Ron Hubbard, which is reproduced in its entirety on the internet in several places. I was “out.” For good.

On the first day away, I must have had four phone calls from that person in the org. They wanted to talk to me about this and that and I should call them back. Thank God for call display. See I told you there is a God. Every day there were phone calls. The number varied. Sometimes, though rarely, it was only one call. Sometimes there were as many as four calls. Sometimes other people phoned. I got two or three phone calls from one person at midnight. I guess they didn’t know I stay up late and thought they would be getting an answer because of the shock value.

At first the calls sounded angry and punitive, like they needed to handle something with me right away. I had left the event without signing the paper. Then the calls got friendly and had to do with having information I needed to handle my PTS situation. Then they got frustrated and demanding. The calls I got late at night sounded very friendly but at the same time very insistent that I call back. After about eight to twelve weeks of this going on the caller said that they wanted me to call so they would know exactly what the situation was and where they stood with me.

I finally overcame my phobia on the telephone and got a new unlisted phone number. I still monitor my calls because the people in scientologyland have been known to find these things out. When that happens the telephone company will be hearing from me.

I still get emails from a few sources that got my new email address before I left. When I do, I see that the emails are from international association of scientologists (IAS) or bridge publications or something like that and I just delete them without reading the stuff. (Now I post some of them on the Bake.)

I get a lot of scientology mail. When that arrives it gets taken apart and it all goes through the shredder, and out in the garbage. I use my shredder on anything that I think they could use against me. I put out my recyclable paper garbage in the morning after I get up. If they want to get stuff from my trash they are going to have to do it in the light of day.

If anyone from scientology ever shows up on my doorstep again, I will call 9-1-1 and get the police here to escort the trespassers off my property.

Man, the emotions and physical feelings that came up while I was writing that were fierce. Those f**kers really do a number on people.
“Think wrongly if you please, but in all cases think for yourself.”
Doris Lessing

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