My story from my Exit Therapy

Share your personal experiences with others. We're not here to judge or criticise, but to share and support.

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Ladybird
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Post by Ladybird » Thu Oct 16, 2008 8:11 am

Wieber wrote:
I think we (the "auditor" and I) must have been on that one "chain" for about four or five hours. This thing went so far back I started making up numbers.

"When was it?"

"Forty-three kurshmilliozin years ago."

"Thank you."

It ended with something that was seemingly innocuous. I said, "I really don't understand what's going on here, but I'll tell you there aren't any earlier "engrams" at all."

"Your needle's floating."
Wieber, I would like to indicate to you that you had the "CLEAR COGNITION"

"I mocked up my own reactive mind".

You are CLEAR Wieber! That is all there is to it, realizing that you made it all up.
[i]"There is nothing as wild in the books of Man as will probably happen here on Earth...it will happen and be allowed to happen simply because all this is so incredible that nobody will even think of stopping it until it is far, far too late"~LRH[/i]

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Wieber
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Post by Wieber » Thu Oct 16, 2008 8:38 am

Ladybird wrote:You are CLEAR Wieber! That is all there is to it, realizing that you made it all up.
Thanks for that, Ladybird, but honestly, in my opinion, if I am "CLEAR" then so is everybody else.
“Think wrongly if you please, but in all cases think for yourself.”
Doris Lessing

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Ladybird
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Post by Ladybird » Thu Oct 16, 2008 8:41 am

No shit Sherlock.
[i]"There is nothing as wild in the books of Man as will probably happen here on Earth...it will happen and be allowed to happen simply because all this is so incredible that nobody will even think of stopping it until it is far, far too late"~LRH[/i]

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Wieber
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Post by Wieber » Wed Dec 02, 2009 2:07 am

I learned just recently that the woman I have been referring to in my story as Lady MacBeth died a little over ten years ago. She died while still a sea organization staff member.

Well, damn it!

I had hopes that one day I would get to meet her when she had become an ex sea organization staff member and had shucked the LRH persona that overruled her own. I feel very sad that she died - probably in her early fifties.

Well, my dear, feisty ex senior, may you rest easy.
“Think wrongly if you please, but in all cases think for yourself.”
Doris Lessing

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Ladybird
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Post by Ladybird » Wed Dec 02, 2009 7:02 am

Wieber wrote:I learned just recently that the woman I have been referring to in my story as Lady MacBeth died a little over ten years ago. She died while still a sea organization staff member.

Well, damn it!

I had hopes that one day I would get to meet her when she had become an ex sea organization staff member and had shucked the LRH persona that overruled her own. I feel very sad that she died - probably in her early fifties.

Well, my dear, feisty ex senior, may you rest easy.
I don't have words to say how much I understand.

I don't know who your senior was but I do know how much you wanted to tell her how much you care.

My deepest heartfelt condolences to you for the loss of your friend and for the opportunity to share with her all the truths you have discovered.
[i]"There is nothing as wild in the books of Man as will probably happen here on Earth...it will happen and be allowed to happen simply because all this is so incredible that nobody will even think of stopping it until it is far, far too late"~LRH[/i]

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SeeYaBye
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Post by SeeYaBye » Thu Dec 03, 2009 2:15 am

Ahhh, the good old days, being "handled" As I recall the Outer Orgs (Class 4 and 5) had to take possesion of and pay for a certain quota of books.
Sorry to digress here, but when I was on staff at one of the mega-missions in the 70's, when I did training, it was at a Class 4 Org. I see many references nowadays in OCMB and elsewhere to Class 5 Orgs. What is a Class 5 Org, and how is it different to the Class 4 Orgs of my past (20+ years ago)?
"The truth is the kindest thing we can give folks in the end." - Harriet Beecher Stowe

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Wieber
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Post by Wieber » Thu Dec 03, 2009 2:53 am

SeeYaBye wrote:Sorry to digress here, but when I was on staff at one of the mega-missions in the 70's, when I did training, it was at a Class 4 Org. I see many references nowadays in OCMB and elsewhere to Class 5 Orgs. What is a Class 5 Org, and how is it different to the Class 4 Orgs of my past (20+ years ago)?
They changed the "grade chart."

In the seventies when I was on staff, "grade 4 release" (I'll use Arabic numbers, thanks) was the top level for our "org" and the next thing on the grade chart was "grade 5," which was the level for the power processes, which was done at the "advanced orgs." Back then after all the "life repair" and "objectives" and stuff the next thing was "dianetic case completion" after which one went onto the "grades" - zero through four.

Then between the time I was "routed off" staff and came back "on lines" the "grades," zero through four are now done first and "dianetic case completion" is now "grade 5." So now the "orgs" that were once "class 4 orgs" are now "class 5 orgs."

I hope that brings you more or less up to date.
“Think wrongly if you please, but in all cases think for yourself.”
Doris Lessing

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Wieber
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Post by Wieber » Fri Dec 04, 2009 3:47 pm

Ladybird wrote:I don't have words to say how much I understand.

I don't know who your senior was but I do know how much you wanted to tell her how much you care.

My deepest heartfelt condolences to you for the loss of your friend and for the opportunity to share with her all the truths you have discovered.
Thank you, Ladybird.

She could be a real pain in the ass and she could yell and scold like I don't know what. But she had a great sense of humor and when she was being nice she could really be nice and I think it wasn't an act.

So, yeah, if she had got away and got out she most likely would have lived longer, been happier and I'm sure would have dropped a lot, if not all, of the negative stuff.
“Think wrongly if you please, but in all cases think for yourself.”
Doris Lessing

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Wieber
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Post by Wieber » Tue Dec 15, 2009 3:08 am

This is almost insignificant but it keeps coming to mind and every time it does I get emotional (with emotions that aren't on Hubbard's "tone scale" by the way.)

There was a sea organization recruitment mission that came to the "org" where I was on staff. The guy got up in front of everyone in his naval uniform and sea organization cap.

He said that when someone joins the sea organization that scientology completely looks after their "first dynamic" so that they can take their attention off any problems associated with it.

That's it. That's all there is that I wanted to tell. Now I'm going to rant.

No one who was in the "org" from the sea organization, whether on a mission or sent there to be a staff member - not one of them ever said what the living conditions were actually like in the sea organization. I don't know about other people but I always had it pictured in my mind that sea organization members got small apartments with maybe one or two other room mates. I got the impression they got paid enough to buy a few luxuries. I also was under the impression that when they got sent on missions that they were issued with expense money. I don't know if they were or not but I have a feeling I may have been wrong on all counts.

I had no idea that sea organization staff members were stacked like cord wood in their sleeping accommodations with maybe one cubic foot of storage space for their belongings. I didn't know they got paid so poorly. I didn't know mostly what they ate was rice and beans. I didn't know they typically put in 14 to 16 hour work days and got no days off.

Failure to disclose all of those details is deception by omission. Of course, if a sea organization recruiter were up front and honest about what they were sending people to get involved with the number of people signing up and going there would most likely drop significantly resulting in "down statistics" and "lower conditions." I guess honesty and "up statistics" are mutually exclusive.
“Think wrongly if you please, but in all cases think for yourself.”
Doris Lessing

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Benny's Friend
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Post by Benny's Friend » Tue Dec 15, 2009 5:26 pm

Sometimes when protesting at the HGB we ask the passing SO members, have you received what was promised when you were recruited into the Sea Org?

Good post, Weiber.
The more who speak out, the more who get out.

Don Carlo
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Post by Don Carlo » Tue Dec 15, 2009 6:04 pm

California has minimum housing requirements for migrant workers, which CoS appears to be violating.
Provide at least 50 square feet of floor area with a minimum average ceiling height of seven (7) feet for each resident...
Provide all beds with adequate separation of at least 30 inches from each other.

http://www.hcd.ca.gov/codes/eh/EMPLOYEE ... KLET-1.pdf
Plus, CoS is likely violating LA County Fire Department regulations, especially if the emergency exits are barred.

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Wieber
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Post by Wieber » Mon Dec 21, 2009 2:20 am

These things keep coming to mind. This one's been coming up again and again for some reason so I'm telling it now, even though there's not a lot to it. This happened during my very brief tenure as a registrar.

A young woman came to me wanting to buy the dianetics course, the academy levels and the materials that went with them including an e-meter. Her husband was on staff and she was paying their expenses.

I figured out what everything she wanted would cost her. It came to a sizable amount of money - more than a year's gross wages for her.

Did she want to get a loan? No? Any savings? No.

OK. So we worked out her income vs expenses and finally came up with a way for her to pay for what she wanted at so much per pay and when we were finished with all that she felt quite comfortable with the plan and I think she made her first payment.

The registrars in scientology have meetings on a daily basis where they are asked what they are working on, what leads they have, who has money, who has assets, money, money, money, Hubbard, Hubbard, Hubbard. At the next meeting after I met with that woman I told them about the arrangement I had made with her. Not good enough!

After the meeting the executive director, the senior registrar and a person from division three, treasury division, took her into a meeting. The next day they walked her through getting a loan for the full amount. Three days later she had quit her job and joined staff.

I felt bad about all of that in so many ways. I no longer feel bad about making a long term arrangement with her but I still feel bad about her being put into a large debt and then having the source of her income pulled out from under her.
“Think wrongly if you please, but in all cases think for yourself.”
Doris Lessing

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Wieber
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Post by Wieber » Mon Feb 22, 2010 7:44 am

I am currently reading Captive Hearts Captive Minds. There was a story about a person involved in transcendental meditation who then went to a more intense cult. He talked about the exercises that the two cults did and how it would make him feel spaced out.

There was a time shortly after I joined staff and on the book selling team. The person in charge (the I/C) was giving me some directions and I felt spaced out and couldn't concentrate on what he was saying. At the time he attributed my being spaced out to being a withdrawal symptom from marijuana. At that point in time I had been off that stuff for a couple of months. I agreed with him at the time and continued to agree with him from then on whenever I recalled what happened at that time.

That is I agreed with him until I read that passage in Captive Hearts Captive Minds a day or so ago. Oh hey! Could it be that I was feeling spaced out and having difficulty concentrating not from withdrawal from marijuana but because of the effects of the training routines (TRs) I had been doing immersively for two months? I think so.
“Think wrongly if you please, but in all cases think for yourself.”
Doris Lessing

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Wieber
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Post by Wieber » Fri Feb 26, 2010 8:34 am

Recovery from what a cult has done to one can take years after leaving it.

Just today I spotted something negative in my behavior that comes out of having been in scientology. Well, maybe it isn't that negative but many people found it extremely annoying. I've repressed the behavior but I think I finally figured out why it was happening.

I had a tendency to repeat many times what I said to people.

"I'll repeat the auditing command."

"We must repeat." Devo.

Because of the training routines (TRs) people involved in scientology come to expect an acknowledgment (ack) from people when they converse. Well, people who are not in and have never been in scientology don't often do that.

I would tell someone something and they wouldn't acknowledge me so I would repeat myself. They still wouldn't acknowledge so I would repeat myself again. After four or five times through this they would finally overcome their inhibition at voicing their annoyance and tell me off.

It took a long time to overcome this habit and I still do it occasionally. I hope now that I have a better understanding of what is going on I can do it in altogether.
“Think wrongly if you please, but in all cases think for yourself.”
Doris Lessing

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Wieber
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Post by Wieber » Fri Mar 05, 2010 10:38 am

When I was in college there was a left wing political cult on campus. The people running it managed to capture one of the students in our class. We all noticed the weird change in him, the language he used, the rhetoric he spouted and other aspects of his personality.

That cult didn't get my but scientology did. I changed, too. My family in particular thought I had gone strange. So did my former friends that I met in the street. At least they looked at me with that look. You know the one where the theme for The Outer Limits is playing in their head while they're looking at you.

Hare Krishna and the process were out in the streets trolling about for money and new recruits before scientology found me and they didn't get me either. I also had no use for the Jehovah's Witnesses. But something about scientology caught me.

The other peculiar thing was that once scientology had captured me for some reason I became proofed against any other cult getting me. That seemed to be the way of the world, too. We very quickly learned that it was a complete waste of time to try to disseminate to people involved in cults. I phrased it that way because we, the other people in scientology and I, "knew" we were not in a cult.

There was an exception. There was a young man who had completed the dianetics course, the academy levels and done all his internships for them and when he had done that he left to get involved in a commercial cult. I talked to him after he had left and he compared everything he did to recruit people into his organization with everything we did in scientology. I didn't get it. I didn't make the connection.

When the British person in the guardian's office told us that scientology was forming alliances with the moonies, hare krishna and other cults there was an audible gasp from his audience. I'm sure the directive to do that came straight from L. Ron.

I think the reasoning behind it was that scientology was associated with those other groups and that by getting religious recognition for all of them scientology would also get religious recognition. Even today scientology's office of special affairs is involved in an "interfaith" organization that includes the moonies and other cults.

When the guy from the guardian's office made that announcement it was tantamount to admitting that scientology was also a cult. We got over that quickly but still . . .

While I was away from scientology but still believing in it I saw people that I knew and associated with as well as some family members get involved with a variety of cults. Thankfully my family members didn't stay with it (a commercial cult - the kind that uses the euphemism "multi level marketing" for "pyramid scheme."). Three other people I knew are, as far as I know, still in the cults that captured them.

I know that if I were to say to any of them that they are in a cult or to my family members that they were in a cult I would get a very energetic argument. Sigh.
“Think wrongly if you please, but in all cases think for yourself.”
Doris Lessing

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