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Wisened One
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Returning New Member:)

Post by Wisened One » Sat Feb 23, 2008 9:40 pm

Hi.

I used to post here years ago (about 4 yrs ago) under another username (wisened_one04).

Fell inactive and had to re-register so saying hey to everyone who may remember me and a hello to the board!

I and my husband was Div 6 Staff at a Class V Org for several years.

We blew (in the middle of the night. My story is in 'Leaving The Church' thread over at ESMB board). If you want, I'll post my stories here too.

Anyway: After we left, we STILL considered ourselves as Scns!?!? and only recently (about 4 yrs ago:) got *out* fully.

Our journey started by taking the frightening plunge and reading anti scn stuff on the Net. We watched all the videos on xenutv, then went on to bravely read any/all the OT stuff on the Net (expecting to become very ill and/or die in the process...to the point where we handwrote a will and a note explaining what we were doing, etc to the person/police who may find our dead bodies..BEFORE reading the Net, LOL!)

Well, lo and behold, we're still here, never got sick, etc.

And no, we didn't buy into the CoS's justification of: 'Well it obviously wasn't the real thing or you would've become sick/died, blablablaaaa'

We are still 'closet outties' and may soon come out more publicly on both this and ESMB boards. We're SICK and TIRED of being AFRAID of CoS, OSA, etc! This is STUPID, isn't it? More PROOF it's all a big LIE and a definite CULT, I say, *spits at CoS*

Ok then, no charge there, eh?;)

I look forward to meeting and posting with all of you. I've been reading posts here for a while and enjoying the hell outta bfg's and chuck's posts as well as Tory's, etc. Keep up the stories, everyone. It's helping in SO many ways.

Hugs,

Wisened One

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Post by daisy » Sat Feb 23, 2008 11:10 pm

Welcome Wisened One,
. We're SICK and TIRED of being AFRAID of CoS, OSA, etc! This is STUPID, isn't it? More PROOF it's all a big LIE and a definite CULT, I say, *spits at CoS*
I hear ya! I was totally paranoid when I left. For me being out, picketing etc helps in my recovery. I'm glad to see you posting here. Go ahead and post your story , I'm sure a lot of people would love to hear it.

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Post by Wisened One » Sat Feb 23, 2008 11:22 pm

Thanks for the welcome:) I see several people have read my intro yet no replies?:(

Anyway, here are our stories. (hubby and I left together, I'm posting both of our stories, from over at ESMB board.)

Now mind you, this was posted a few weeks ago, so it was a bit whiney and victimy on my part and was only a snapshot focusing on a part of why and how we left.

Since then, I've come to realize soooo many things and am not so whiney,victimy about it all. Here they are:

Ok, I'm telling more of my leave story.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey again.

I've posted a bit on here and on OCMB, left for a long while (about a year from here) and am back! I want to share with you more of my leaving story (this was years ago).

Please hit your refresh button before (and probably right after) reading, because I keep adding/editing, constantly.

I'm TIRED of holding this and other stories silent for ALL these years, this is downright insanity to FEAR them!! When they're supposed to be the 'answer' to all problems and the salvation of mankind? Huh?! NOT!!!!

I and Spouse was Div 6 staff at a Class V Org for a few years.

Spouse one day got sick of it, too.

And we 'went for a long walk' that night to talk.

I'd wanted to leave off and on for a good year, but kept being talked out of it.

Anways: the decision was made by both of us to leave.

And BAM, phone calls were made and an instant flight was arranged for THAT NIGHT by loving family (You know THAT cost a pretty penny!).

So the next step was getting out of our house silently. We lived in a house with roommates (also Staff).

We packed what we could in suitcases and left everything else (furniture that I loved, clothes,etc..).

A cab was called and we waited in tense silence in our tiny room for it to arrive, praying none of our roommates would notice or hear anything.

Once it arrived, I was the first one to sneak out into the hallway with my large suitcase. The pounding of my heart was so loud, I'm surprised that didn't give me away!. Amazingly, the hallway and the living room to that front door, was the LONGEST, most INTRICATE journey I'd ever made...and I had to do it SILENTLY and QUICKLY with this HUGE suitcase, by myself! Spouse had to stay behind in the closed room while I made the what seemed like hours long journey....amazingly, I didn't bump it into anything and nobody came out of their rooms.

I was outside.

The cool night air smelled fresher than ever before.

I looked up into the Night Sky.

The stars were sparkling and winking down on me, as if to say: 'You've done it, You're FREE, GO!'

Then my spouse sneaked out, it felt like FOREVER, then the front door was opened...for a second, my heart stopped. Maybe it wasn't my Spouse! Maybe it was a roommate come to get me and turn us in!

But it wasn't.

It was my Spouse, out safe and sound, too.

We didn't even glance back as we were whisked away by the cab to the airport.

I was so scared, I thought maybe the cab driver was a Plant and would any minute turn around and take us back home or to Ethics, lol!

We got to the airport and boarded the plane,after a HORRID few hours wait-time... constantly looking over our shoulders.

I can't believe how like Fugitives we felt! Like we were criminals running away from the Police, Jeez!

We got to our destination and into loving arms.

We literally huddled, shaking, on the floor of the living room for hours when we arrived,staring at the front door, expecting a knock, for 'them' to take us back.

After we calmed down and could breathe again, we WALKED MILES to a nearby mall just to stay extroverted, fearing EVERY car on street whizzing by us, was 'them' following us....lol.

Yet the utter RELIEF was indescribable, you guys.

The SCENT of FREEDOM from the 80 hr work-weeks. The starvation, the ethics, the crazy things we were made to do for our post or org,etc...staying up till 2am being told how scum we were by our ED then come in a few hrs later to work..etc..

In the days and weeks that followed, phone calls were made to our place and at first they were told we weren't there,etc.

We could 'feel' that they had us 'tailed' and we were right. Because a few weeks later, they knocked on the door. We were such paranoid sissys that we both hid from them till they left. They even looked through all the windows looking for us! Spouse was hiding in one room and I was in another. It was soooo humilitating for us, but we were not ready to face them, nor did we want to go back.

Well a few days later somehow we were convinced to let them in and they audited us in our bedroom, one by one. (We were both in the middle of different auditing actions at the time we blew).

They convinced us to go back and route out standardly. *STUPID thing to do!*

We rented a car and did so. Well: Not only was it a MUCH longer cycle than it should've been, but it was VERY expensive AND we ended up keeping the rental car too long, so long the rental company was calling us everyday to bring it back!

We FINALLY got out of there after THREE WEEKS of paying for a weekly hotel, rental car fees and penalties, countless, pointless Ethics cycles, etc. I lied F/N's just so we could get out, so did my spouse. All in all, a very stressful, dreadful time.

We were assigned 'Confusion' and told we were degraded beings, Freeloaders and would die 'out there'.

That last night we were routing off: I and my spouse were separated in different rooms and lectured at for over two hours. My tiny room was FREEZING and I had only a short-sleeve shirt on. I was SO cold, that I was seizing! . I huddled my arms inside my thin shirt to no avail. The OTV, L's Comp didn't care, NO! I just sat and stared at this supposed advanced, powerful OT'... every single person was being listed to me, how every other Staff/Public that left and died, or got cancer, divorced, couldn't get any job,etc..

They just wanted to make sure I knew HOW many ex-staff and public DIED as a result of leaving,etc.!

The whole time, I was shivering so bad and trying to keep my TRs in to the tirade. I kept screaming things at the person in my mind and waiting for the person to read it. Come on, You're OT V and L's and you CANT even do something as simple as READ MY MIND and you WANT ME TO STAY?!
I felt sad for this person trying to get me to stay. But mostly I was severely introverted and trying to keep warm and control the seizures. Maybe it was also nerves that were causing me to do that.

They also tried to make my spouse leave me there and not take me back by telling of some long ago mild out2d withholds. It didn't work. But they tried. THAT was hell, too!

And you know WHAT? After ALL this, we went back home...made new lives, yet STILL considered ourselves dedicated Scientologists and went to events, helped out at the Mission near us, etc!!?? Convinced we were Freeloaders and db's, and that it was all our fault that we were, when we'd literally cared for EVERY single new person that walked thru our doors and wanted to help them and felt CRUSHED for every single person that walked back out. How's THAT for weight on one's conscience?

WELL: A few years ago, my spouse got up the nerve to read stuff on Xenutv about the OTs that left. I was very reluctant and scared to, but finally did it.
For a long time even while reading this stuff, my mind still 'justified' the data and stories..(well they had heavy case, had mu's, etc,etc..).
But it still kept me thinking...I wasn't yet ready to 'get out'. The info of scn was just TOO good, spanned over one lifetime, etc. to 'give up'.

After all, if I DID give it up,

THEN WHAT? You know? I mean, I'd die and that'd be it. (vs what scn promises you about having OT knowledge and powers, no forgetters, etc..)..

Well a little while after reading all this anti-stuff: We actually took the plunge and decided to read ANY/ALL OT level info on the Net!

I personally was SO scared, that I was gonna DIE upon or immediately after reading it, that I actually made a hand-written Will Before reading, it. We actually both read the stuff at the same moment, in case we died suddenly, we'd be together, when we did! LOL!

Well needless to say, we're still here, (anyone still believe the church's crap that it isn't the 'real' stuff or else we would've?) and ever since then.... we LEFT and are OUT as of heart, mind, soul, etc.

We still get phone calls wanting our FL debts,etc.. but we've told them 'We no longer consider ourselves scientologiests. They just say ok. And still call constantly. And we still get our mailbox FULL of JUNK from them!!

I've even emailed them to take me off all their emailing/snail mail lists. They ignore me.

Ah well: That's more of my and my spouse's story.

I do have a dear friend that's still in and we talk regularly and this friend knows I'm inactive and all, but not HOW inactive, lol;) I'd hate to lose this person, but if I end up getting found out/declared soon..then so be it, I guess. I'm nearly ready to post my whole info/name to find friends, etc... maybe one day.

Sad that you have to be this way with this 'wonderful, helpful loving religion' eh?

Craziness, huh? Utter craziness!

Wisened One
........................................................................................
Wisened One Spouse here to add more

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well my other half has given you a pretty good description of our leaving story. There were a lot of details left out, though... like the hours we spent at the airport waiting for our flight, terrified they were going to catch up to us. I am going to tell you what led up to it.

I was the Public Contact Secretary and the person above me was the Public Executive Secretary ((PES) second highest in the org, just under the Executive Director).

The PES had a penchant for falsifying her stats and had been sent out to Los Angeles for a Commitee of Evidence (Comm Ev or trial) because of it a year or so before.
You have to know this part. Everyone under her at the time was very relieved because we were all so tired of trying to find all of these stats to match what she was going to post at the end of the week.
Oh my gawd it was torture every Thursday morning running around pulling your hair out trying to find every little thing you could to justify what she was going to report...insanity!

So anyway, we all spent the next few days after she left for her trial in LA correcting our stats for a year backwards. Things like the Number of Books Sold to Raw Public (NBSRaw).
She reported around 300 every week and it was actually only around 40. So we were all relieved to be reporting something real and something we could actually apply a condition to when HOLY SHIT she came back...vindicated...and changed them all back to the false ones!!

The purpose of telling you this part was so that you can see how at that point I figured she was untouchable. The crimes were so blatantly obvious and the Bitch got away with it.

So fast forward a year or so and there was a lot of bickering going on about the stat called 'New Names to Central Files' (NNCF). The Flag Banking Officer(FBO) was bitching about all the names we were submitting from another country and saying they were not real and the org was wasting money mailing to them.
I agreed with her but there was no frickin' way I was going to disagree with the PES since she was untouchable and if I did, I would be the one to fry for it.

One day me and the Flag Bitch and the Ethics Officer were having a heated argument about it, and the Flag Bitch demanded that I be investigated for falsifying my stats and the Ethics Bitch agreed. There was to be goldenrod drawn up and I was going to fry for it. I couldn't very well blame it on the PES now could I?

I was terrified.

That night on the long walk home was where my Sweetheart started this thread.

I will post more later.
........................................................................

There you have it. I've posted a lot more in various threads (over at ESMB) and feel I've already improved by leaps and bounds from the day I typed out my leave story...amazing what coming forward does for your soul.....bit by bit, we're feeling more free, more relaxed and carefree and I'm enjoying my children (thankfully never were *in*!) and my life *on the outside*. It's such a relief to not have to work all those hours, feel guitly for not going to the Event, spending all our money on Freeloader bills, books, etc.etc...

Wisened One

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Post by Sea Horse » Sun Feb 24, 2008 12:21 am

Great story. It really, really shows the fear that is instilled in Scientology members and staff about "blowing".
I can relate to the "hiding" in the house.
:oops:
We are the architects of our own lives. Design and build the life you want.

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Post by Wisened One » Sun Feb 24, 2008 12:50 am

Thanks for reading our stories and replying, Sea Horse.

Yeah, it's nuts, isn't it?

The leaving policies, disconnection policies and routing out procedures for Staff/SO have simply GOT to STOP!

Wisened One

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Post by opter » Sun Feb 24, 2008 3:29 am

Wisened One and spouse

Great stories.

When I left i was also afraid that I would get very sick,lose my eternity and all that junk. :oops:

It is sooooooooooooooooooooo greaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat to be out. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Opter

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Post by Wieber » Sun Feb 24, 2008 3:51 am

Wisened One, both of you, welcome "out."
“Think wrongly if you please, but in all cases think for yourself.”
Doris Lessing

Image

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Post by Lisafer » Sun Feb 24, 2008 2:37 pm

Wisened One wrote:
The leaving policies, disconnection policies and routing out procedures for Staff/SO have simply GOT to STOP!

Wisened One
I can't even describe the emotions I'm going through right now after reading that. I'm thankful that you and your husband got away. I'm grateful you still have each other.

I don't understand how any of this is *legal*. You were afraid that they would "take you" someplace you didn't want to go and keep you there?? Isn't that called kidnapping??

Thank you Wisend One for sharing all this with the people here.

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Post by Hubbard's Mushroom » Sun Feb 24, 2008 3:51 pm

++++++++++Sacred Cult Scripture++++++++++++++

"Somebody some day will say 'this is illegal'. By then
be sure the orgs say what is legal or not."

-- L. Ron Hubbard, HCOPL 4 January 1966

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

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Post by Dorothy » Sun Feb 24, 2008 4:19 pm

Welcome Wisened One,

I've been "out" for about 8 years. I never even thought of going on the NET to "investigate" Scn. I thought I had simply moved on with my life, which means I GOT a life, something you do not have in Scn. Then just recently a friend of mine was telling me some of the stories on the NET. I decided to check it out. It was a profound experience. Then I read the OT data. I too had the brainwashing about dying if you read it.

Then I concluded that making someone believe something like that was no more than a BLACK MAGIC CURSE! I had heard the Hubster was into black magic. Now I know its true! The CURSE only works on you if you fully believe it.

Of course, after reading lots of data recently, I saw that I had not really moved on. I still had lots of brainwashing to un-do.

I hope you have hours of fun on the board. I certainly have.
“The sad truth is that most evil is done by people who never make up their minds to be good or evil.”
― Hannah Arendt

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Wisened One
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Post by Wisened One » Sun Feb 24, 2008 5:31 pm

Oh wow guys, thank you all so much for reading our stories and replying! BIG HUGS to you!

Yeah: Isn't it unbeleivable that ALL these damn YEARS later, we still won't 'come out' publicly because of FEAR? Gee, ya think we were in a CULT, maybe? *spits at CoS again*

It's been a long, slow road to getting on with parts of our lives...other parts we adapted to quickly. (like, the better money when we worked? Duh?!)

I've realized soooo much since posting on these boards (been on ESMB while waiting to be approved here). Since then, met many nice people, not feeling so skittish that any of you are OSA plants,etc.etc...LOL!

Soon, I will tell more of my stories. But I'm just happy to be free, and have been able to be in my children's lives again. I gave them up as babies, very shortly before I got in scn, didn't see them for years while I was in scn, when we blew, they were back in my lives, first thing, and I may've missed many of their baby 'firsts' but I have blessedly been there for nearly ALL their other child/teen/adult firsts' :)

My heart aches for all those who lost their living lives in SO/Staff:(

Wisened One
Last edited by Wisened One on Mon Feb 25, 2008 5:30 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Post by truthseeker » Sun Feb 24, 2008 7:20 pm

:) welcome to the board Wiz

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Post by NattyP » Sun Feb 24, 2008 7:39 pm

Hello Wisened One and Two!

Welcome to the 'Bake and thank you for posting your escape story!

It's WONDERFUL that you're out TOGETHER and have been able to thrive and rejoin your children!

I hope more folks who're on the fence read this story and others and realize that THERE'S LIFE AFTER $CIENTOLOGY and that it's GREAT!

My best to you both!

Natty
John Carmichael: Are you a homo? Have you come out of the closet?
ANONYMOUS: You're wearing tweed in the summer and you're asking ME if I'm a faggot? Xenu please ...
John Carmichael: What?

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Post by Unlisted » Sun Feb 24, 2008 9:42 pm

Hi Wisened Ones ;) Welcome to the board.
Thank you so much for sharing your story
:thumleft:

I am so happy for the both of you, that you managed to leave and that you left together.
Your love for eachother is really moving and it's so heartwarming (and cute) to see you refer to one another in such loving terms.

:)

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Post by Os Wilkes » Mon Feb 25, 2008 7:56 am

Dear Wisened Ones,

I am so grateful that you both posted and thankful that you are together. I have read so many stories about couples and families being split up, I am always encouaged to see those that hang tight. Love is the highest wisdom and truly the greatest power.

Keep posting! I think the best way to fight deception and crime is to speak out. People need to see what Scientology is about before they join. Your voices add to the counter recruitment effort. This is good for the world, and a great sacrifice on your part. Thank you.

Love, Respect and Gratitude,

Os
Latest stuph:

The latest fave video- a blast from the past:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxOmrS6uqVM

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