Hi all, I recently got my OK to post on Clambake. I'm happy to be here. I left Scn in 2005, had left the SO in 2000. I took some time to wrap my wits about my whole Scientology experience. It is an ongoing process.

I've posted a story on ESMB with this same ID for anyone who wants a good long novel to read. It will make you laugh and cry and get really mad.

I have always admired those posting useful information on this board. I hope to contribute with my stories so readers, like I did for years, can get the information they need to make the right decisions in their own lives about Scientology.

I started out mostly thinking that David Miscavige had simply taken everything over and was the evil "WHO" behind all the problems I saw with, what I thought was, "my religious group". I thought that if I hung in there long enough, I could stay a Scientologist despite what I witnessed during my 17 year stint at the Int base. I thought that the only way I could effectively reform the Sea Org and Scientology was AS A MEMBER and that leaving Scientology and stepping out of the bounds of the Scientology Ethics and Justice Codes was out of the question. I was wrong.

I found out the hard way that in trying to stay a good Scientologist, I was basically not effecting any kind of reforms, I was just draining my bank accounts and wasting my time volunteering for people who did not care what I thought about anything, and supporting activities of dubious nature.

The title of my post here is "Contradictions" and this is why I think that ANY involvement and support of Scientology, no matter how beneficial it may seem to be to an individual at the time, is also supportive of fraudulent and illegal activities.

The first Contradiction I would like to bring up is the subject of SLEEP DEPRIVATION. Every Sea Organization member is subject to sleep deprivation without exception. 60 Minutes recently did a show about how sleep deprivation causes serious health and emotional problems, by scientific study. Sleep deprivation is harmful. L. Ron Hubbard wrote in The Way to Happiness, to get enough sleep. It was also written in an LRH Advice to Int Base staff that staff were entitled to 8 hours sleep. This advice was affectionately called the "wonkers bonkers" advice. The nickname came about because LRH had distinctly said that if staff were not getting sleep that the planning was wonkers, not just bonkers.

Despite these LRH writings, did routine adequate sleep EVER happen at the Int base? NO. Fans of L. Ron Hubbard might argue "see, LRH was not being followed, and that was why all the trouble". No, that is not why all the trouble. LRH ALSO made people stay up all night long. He wrote one thing and did another. What LRH DID was kept as tradition. What was in writing was, and is not, followed.

Any support with donations or public relations of Scientology supports the SLEEP DEPRIVING OF SEA ORG MEMBERS. Anyone donating anything to a Scientology or Sea Organization org is supporting the Sea Org in some way. There is no way around that.

Another contradiction is BEANS AND RICE penalties. OK, so LRH wrote in The Way to Happiness that eating properly was important to happiness. Yet, he set up a precedent, a tradition of penalizing Sea Org Members by making them only eat beans and rice for meals. Beans and Rice do not have all the nutrition necessary to live a healthy existence. What about green vegetables and fruit? Again, LRH wrote one thing and did another.

The most egregious contradiction of all is LACK OF MEDICAL & DENTAL CARE for staff. LRH Wrote in a Flag Order, which is included in the Sea Organization Basics Training (Product 0) that all SO members were to get room and board and medical and dental care. There is also an LRH Policy letter about taking care of old timers. This did not happen, at least not on a regular basis. It seemed arbitrary who did and didn't get the care they needed. Based on money, rather that on principle.

I'll give you an example. I was being kept at the Old Gilman House area of the Gold base (Northwest side) in 1999, and Ken Delderfield was out there. Ken was been in Scn since the late 50's, and in the SO practically since it started. He was dumped out at OGH because he was labelled an "ethics particle" and was off any posts. He had pneumonia. He was coughing so hard that his ribs cracked. He could not lie down, because the liquid in his lungs would start to choke him. He sat up in a chair and just sat there. I tried to give in a touch assist one day and it made absolutely no difference. He'd just been left to sit out at OGH for weeks, getting worse and worse. Then one day, a security guard got mad at Ken. He said, "You dick! You are trying to purposefully die out here aren't you? And make us look bad! Well I'm going to take you to a hospital" The guard, albeit his motives may have been odd, saved Ken's life and took him to a hospital in Hemet. Ken had to get intensive care because the pneumonia wasn't responding to regular antibiotics. The hospital stay created a large medical bill. This medical bill was sent to the FBO Gold (Teresa Karbowski) by the MLO Asst. (Jocelyn Webb) with a CSW attached requesting financial payment of this bill to go into the Gold Financial Planning. Teresa replied "NOT OK" "NO BEAN RETURN". Ken was still in the SO, he was also an old timer. Did any of the LRH policies about staff care get USED? No they did not. As far as I know, Ken had to pay this bill himself out of his own money. I can't imagine he had much after having been on staff since the late 50's.

This is how medical and dental expenses get treated. If paying for a staff members medical and dental expenses are "no bean return" then they won't happen. Sea Organization members are All promised medical and dental care. THEY DON'T GET IT. It's FRAUD. It's not RELIGION. It's in the SO Basics Course, it's at the beginning of every SO Members training, and it's a big damn lie. It has NOTHING to do with not having enough money:

DM had 100 million dollars worth of buildings constructed at the Int base in the late 90's that weren't really NEEDED (new RTC building/new LRH HOUSE), yet --- Gold never had enough money for the medical and dental care of their own staff! Money existed in the Sea Organization, but it got spent on BUILDINGS. I know one guy, Greg Brown. He'd been complaining about stomach pains for over a year and chronic fatigue. All he got was sent to some weirdo Scientology chiropractors. What about a full system of testing to see if he had cancer? Did that happen? No, it was TOO EXPENSIVE and Greg was "NO BEAN RETURN" because he was having trouble working while so ill. So guess what? He died of a large tumor in his intestinal tract. It got to the size of a baseball and he passed out, got taken to the hospital. He got surgery and some chemo but it was too late. I was told some PR line that his tumor had just "grown over night". I don't see how that could possibly be true. He had symptoms of cancer way before that one day that he'd passed out at an RPF muster.

If I had been informed by my Sea Organization recruiter that I would not get medical and dental care when I needed it if I "wasn't being productive enough" or DM had ripped off SO reserves for real estate investments and there was no staff welfare fund.... I would not have joined. Nobody would!

A contradiction with a basic LRH concept I heard that got spouted out often by devout Scientologists and Scientology recruiters is that LRH believed "man is basically good". OK, so if man is "basically good", what about SPs and psychiatrists and psychologists? Too many LRH writings condemn this category of people as being hopelessly evil. This is contradiction. Imagine if everyone in Scientology DID truly believe man was basically good... then maybe civil debate and compassion would get used to resolve disputes instead of disconnection and harassment. What Scientologists should say HONESTLY is that LRH believed that only HE was basically good. Everyone else had evil intentions, were SPs or psychologists or psychiatrists. LRH distrusted his own staff to a point of paranoia, staff that he'd subjected to his Scientology improvement techniques. He very clearly didn't trust his own technology to change all these "evil people"

Well, I wanted to write more contradictions, but I ran out of time. I'll have to post some more later.

Welcome to OCMB Twin A! I am so glad to see you here. I have read all your posts over on ESMB. You write very well and have a hell of a story to tell. "Contradictions" is a great subject for your first thread!

Yes, Hubbard did say one thing, write another thing and do something else. But maybe that is what he intended; to confuse us and cause cognitive dissonance and make us his slaves.



LRH wrote alot of references about games, and reading them now, after I am out, I see that he really did tell us exactly what he was doing, we just didn't see that he was doing it to us.

Remember the saying "The best place to hide something is right in plain sight."? I think that is just what Hubbard did with alot of things.

This is at the end of PDC lecture 39 of 12 Dec 52 titled
"Games Processing":

Glad you're here..

Love<

Hoot

Welcome Twin A. I too have noticed that Scientology is riddled with contradictions. I've also noticed that well-read Scientologists, like my deeply indoctrinated friend Benny, seem to have learned how to use those contradictions to their advantage. Benny has told me of several occasions where he went up against an ethics situation and "won" because he could cite an LRH policy that contradicted the original charge.

Seems duplicitous to me.

(I wonder if part of the contradiction came from the fact he forgot his own bullshit sometimes.)

Thanks for that, Twin A.

Oh, yes, loads of contradictions. We could write pages (and I hope we do ).

Welcome Twin A!

Very well done on the contradictions.

Every time ya look a little closer you will find another one ...

If all men are inherently good than why such stringent ethic policies?

Scientology is chock full of bs, harmful all the way around.

Glad you are out and sharing your wise views!

Welcome to OCMB, Mo! Your initial post on ESMB was very well written and educational, so I'm posting a link so others can find it. <--- Clicky.

That story, and your post here, are so good that I feel like a dick who's trying to make everybody look bad by commenting on a single sentence:


Does a touch assist ever make a difference, except by placebo effect?

I think it is more than a placebo effect. I think that human touch and human caring are very important, and explain all sorts of things like the power of prayer, therapy, chiropratcy, massage therapy and scientology auditing, to name a few.

Talking to someone who really cares, or getting a massage or treatment from someone who really cares, or even getting a haircut from someone who really cares cannot be replaced by rote dehumanizing treatments no matter how technically perfect by someone who cares not about you, but about the camera on their e-meter and their own future for the next trillion years if they miss a read.

The best tech people in the cult, like the best doctors, therapists, counselors, family and friends are the ones who care.

Caring and love are some of the things L. Ron Hubbard could not put in a pretty box and sell.

The main things that keep scientology working are hypnotism, brainwashing, manipulation and fear.

TwinA

Welcome to OCMB.

Great post.

I was not in the SO.but as a public,almost every time I went to the AO, I used to hear-and it was always behind closed doors- SO members screaming at each other. ( They probably thought we-public- couldn't hear them ). That was a contradiction because I thought that the SO was the ELITE and they all had their TRs in so why did they have to scream?

Opter

Welcome Twin A, glad you're out and posting. Love the topic- what about the lie/contradiction that $cio is non-denominational, but wait a minute! You get into trouble if you go to another church! "mixing practices"
Very sad about how the old timer Ken was treated and Greg dying from lack of medical care (and anyone caring).
How true about sleep deprivation, so common in the SO.

Hi, Twin A! -

But I have to say that you have shown us all the truth:
'All Scientologists are equal,
but some Scientologists are more equal than others.'

Twin A: Just wanted to say I so looked forward to each and every installment of your story over at the ex-Scientologist's forum...you have a wonderful way of writing where your personality infuses the tale and shines through all the trials and travels.

You weave the thread of your journey into a beautiful fabric, Twin A. Thank you for your story...and most happy to see you here.

Your writing about "contradictions" is right up the same alley as an article I read this week:

http://www.whyileftscientology.com/article-realpolicy.html
The REAL operating policy within the Church of Scientology: The true hidden data line

Welcome, TwinA, and thanks so much for sharing your Int Base experience. I look forward to more installments of your story.

Welcome Twin A!

I really like this thread subject. I have seen so many contradictions in what Hubbard wrote. People that are new to $cientology cant see it cause they have not yet read enough of Hubbard 'tech' to see them. Or just plainly experienced the contradictions.

It took me years and years to start seeing them. I believe I had my own way of seeing what $cientology was suppose to be all about. Kindness, compassion, truth. I was in for a very harsh wake up call. Even if I have read here and there about those, there was much more that I saw about ethics (use as punishment and make wrong), fighting the evil psychs, as you say, sleep deprivation, no medical care (for staff and SO. I was both). I could go on.

Stress is VERY high when you are SO or staff. SO is worst but staff dont have it easy either. You are being pushed and pushed because you have the responsability of the whole planet on your shoulders (both staff and SO) . When you really think about it, its enough to drive someone insane. The urgency of clearing the planet and the harsh ethics used because YOU are responsible whether or not this will happen by getting your stats up. I'm rambling now.

On one hand you are told ethic is something personal. On the other hand, its more used as a punishment tool and a HUGE oppression tool toward staff and SO. With publics they go milder because they want their money. Its a freakin PR machine. They are hypocrites.

I used to believe in 'what is greatness' and I still do but not because Hubbard wrote that but because that is how ALL $cientologists should treat each other. Whether public, staff or SO. That is how human beings should treat each other. Period.

Dont get me wrong. I have not been an angel when I was a staff or SO. Even when I left I still was running on harshness. It took me a long time to get rid of that. a very long time. I'm not proud of how I acted sometimes than.

You know the tone scale. Well, isnt 'sacrifice' VERY low? Its pretty much at the bottom. Yet, that is exactlly where staff and SO are. And Hubbard told them they are doing that for the greatest good. Low pay or no pay, no medical care. their first and second dynamic are pushed aside for 'the greatest good'. That is sacrifice. Yet, they point fingers at those that they consider 'low tone'. Yet, 1.1 is higher than sacrifice! Anger is higher than sacrifice, open hostility is higher than sacrifice. $cientology play the victim. They are being prosecuted by the bad SPs. Victim is LOW on the tone scale also.

In the book 'Dianetics 55', if that part is still there, Hubbard said something which is about granting beingness, kindness and understanding. I wonder if its still in the new version of Dianetics 55.

It was in one of those pages. 118-119, 121-122 and 123. The version I have is from 1981. I got this from the Second Dynamic book which dont exist anymore. So here it goes.

'One of the things which gives truth to Pan-Determinism is the savageness with which the aberrated attempt to drive an individual away from anything resembling Pan-Determinism. This is simply an obsessive action on the part of people to climb up to Pan-Determinism by force. Pan-Determinism cannot be climbed by force. The ladder to that height is not made of pikes and spears, spankings and police forces. It is made of Understanding, Affinity, Reality and Communication.'

DM must have freaked out when he saw that. That is exactly what he is NOT doing. But there is policies somewhere to justify his actions.

Contradictions.

Welcome again Twin A!