I've never posted "my story" on this forum because it would take way. way too long to tell. After all, I was in for 35 years and worked all over the world.

But I wanted to tell the story, so I've started a blog:

http://counterfeitdreams.blogspot.com

I've written three chapters so far, for anyone interested. You have to go to the blog archive to read the chapters in order.

For any Anons or people who were never in Scientology, it might give some insights into getting into Scientology in the 1960's and what the appeal was. I am working on this a bit at a time and will eventually get the whole story told!

Jeff

Well written and interesting. Please keep going.

Beautifully written! Looking forward to the next chapters.
Thankyou!

Thank you for writing this. I burst into tears at the part where you spent your last night with your wife of many years, holding hands, both silently knowing your lives were about to change...please keep writing!

"A line from the Janis Joplin Song, “Me and Bobby McGee,” kept going through my mind. Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose. It was true. I had nothing left to lose. They had taken it all. So there was nothing more they could threaten me with, hold over my head. They no longer had any power over me, and, in an odd way, I was free of them at last." Jeff Hawkins
The idea of 'nothing left to lose' is (also) what gave me the strength to 'look' at the reality of scientology. I checked out the internet and soon knew that I had spent my last 30 years in a cult/scam. The dominos fell very quickly. It's very hard to watch the people you love remain behind, brainwashed, berated, controlled and not willing or able to hear what you now know is the real truth about scientology.
I'm very interested in reading more of your story.

Stoic philosophy is what you rediscovered. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stoic

This is awesome stuff. Very well-written. I like how it can communicate to folk who aren't drenched in the "-ese" of that cult.

This should be a book. It should be published. It needs to get out there.

Can't wait to read more, as painful as it all is (and how it kicks up stuff in my memory).

And, Fishdaddy... welcome OUT!!!

great read, you write well but i couldnt seem to find chapter 1 so read chapter 3, its a pity cause u pissed me off

I NEED CHAPTER 4 NOW

so go write it mmmmmmmkay!

RattieUK:



You have to go the the bottom and select previous page or story. The first click gets you to chapter 2 the next to chapter 1. It is a GOOD read and I am just sickened and sad that so many people have had experiences like this.

Thank you for Telling it Jeff

Hello fishdaddy,
I read your story about Edinburgh in 1968. I was the young girl who was swamped with water and shivered and cried afterwards. I know you and knew your brother Kim very well. I was one of the original staff at Pubs Org. Actually Rosemary Delderfield and I were sent to Edinburgh from St. Hill to find accommodation for all staff. Yes indeed, I do remember Doreen Casey. One stage I was put into a cellar under the elevator with a bucket and bread and water for 24 hrs until I "found out who I really am". Luckily for me, the ethics officer (forgot his name), told me what to say, so was released. After that I did everything I could to get out of there. Finally Doreen decided that I was a degraded being and was offloaded.

Welcome to this board. I shall keep reading your stories.

Wow, definitely don't stop. Fascinating.

Jeff, I've known you for more than 20 years now. Yet there were so many things in your first three chapters that I never knew and hadn't a clue... it made me reflect on how "distant" from each other we were when we were IN. I don't refer to you and me, but to all of us. Even with our closest friends, even spouses, we couldn't be fully open and honest. Because for sure all of us were feeling doubts, disgreements, resentment, etc. but could we ever voice those feelings?

God, how good it is to be rid of that.

Great story.

Opter

Jeff,

You are a very good writer/author.

Thanks for the info.

You're great, Jeff. Thanks for sharing. And what a tasteful, well-presented blog site you created. This will touch and empower thousands....

Jeff,

Wonderful blog! So glad that you are out and sharing your experiences.

Your writing is captivating. Do continue on as inspired to do so ... there are no time pressures, even though many of us are anxiously awaiting the next chapter!