Sparrow:

Scary stuff indeed.
By the way; Who has the more annoying smirk that you just want to punch-out?
Ron Hubbard or Lee Harvey Oswald?

to whoever- when i got scewed-up [or keyed-in ] i found that seeing a movie i really wanted to see alone or with another really took my mind off the problems. change of space always helped too.

For me it was a well made meal and a glass of my favorite beer.

I promised I wouldn't talk about the 60's but there is one thing I wonder about. I toy with the idea that one episode of the BEVERLY HILLBILLIES meet the SCIENTOLOGISTS would have done more damage to LRH AND CO. than any book by Malko or Vosper.
I can just see it. Jethro gets word cleared, the ethics officers olgle Ellie Mae, the GO tries to 8-C Grannie, Jed meets Ron on the ship, banker Drysdale infiltrates the group, and Jane Hathaway finally saves the day. It would have been a classic.

Remembering the Guardian's Office

I had been on staff and I knew the party line on the GO. They were the good guys who protected us lowly org staffers. I knew that they were really an org unto themselve within the org and I knew they were ultimately the final authority in the org. I didn't know about the dirty tricks but I used to see that, "If you only knew." look in their eyes. I sorta thought of them as a bit of a drain on the finances and manpower of the org as well. Leeches, if you will. If they had their way all staff would be in the GO and what would be the point in that? They had their recruiters as well but I never wanted to be in the GO. It was bad enough being on staff. Being an auditor and going Clear seemed much more exciting and the GO looked pretty boring to me. Who the hell wanted to be in CCHR, Criminon, and all those other stupid groups meeting with reporters and obtaining notarized statements claiming this and that? And yes, their recruiters were just as obnoxious as any reg that I met. Being an auditor was where it was at as far as I was concerned.
Then came Operation Snow White. I didn't know about it at the time though. What happened was that I was listening to the radio at home and I heard the news about some raid on the Church. It sounded fairly big and I was a little curious. I paid it no mind because I figured I would hear something about it at the org. I can't remember what happened next. I believe I just put it out of my mind because it really had nothing to do with me. Later some staffer told me he asked the GO people why such a thing would happen and he was told by the GO staff that they didn't know either. End of story so far.
In the next three or four years though I found myself being asked to come down to the org for a special talk from the local GO people many times. I knew if I said that I had better things to do that I would never hear the end of it so of course I went down to the org at least I could get a free coffee out of the deal I thought. The talk was always the same. It was always about the international wins and gains Scientology was making in the world and how those nasty psychiatrists were losing the battle. It hardly excited me even then. I read the magazine articles on the raid and it seemed so unreal to me. So what if some GO members infiltrated the gov't? For some reason I thought that was perfectly fair. I really wasn't interested in the wog world's opinion of us so anything I read didn't really affect me at all. Anyway, at these little briefings I heard about the jailing of Mary Sue and friends and I thought it was unfair but for some reason didn't give it any further thought. The standard line was that the bad old gov't was framing them for trying to undermine the gov't and that all they really did was steal some Xerox paper! Somehow that was supposed to be funny and it did get a laugh from the faithful. Me, I was bored and confused. "Can I please go home? I've got to get up and go to work tomorrow.", I thought. I heard all about how Mary Sue was going to jail and how she was going to be a model prisoner and do community service like it has never been done because after all, she's a Scientologist.
Looking back at all this now; I often wonder if the local GO reps believed what they were saying. I tend to think that they did and probably still do. They are still out there with their belief that the Rockefellers and Rothschilds are controlling the world and that they are the only ones standing up to them. It is so John Birch Society like. How bizarre.

The scary part about auditing is when it "works". If you are not already hooked you will be, I think. The highs are like you've just taken a drug and now you've become a member of an select little club. This is where the snob appeal comes in. You go into your session and after a while if it goes good you start to get all these "liberating insights" into everything. The effect is like winning the lottery. Then the session in stopped and they send you out for a lunch break or something. You go out into the streets to a nearby restaurant and as you walk you feel so light, so clean, and you wonder why everybody else doesn't get auditing. The food tastes great, the coffee is so mellow, and cigarettes are so satisfying. Yes you feel like you are so elite, like you are in on a wonderful secret very few others know.

My opinion is that these things can only happen when you are in with a group of people who have the same goals as you. You try even the simplest Scientology tech on yourself, (Self Analysis for example), in the privacy of your own home and you will find it doesn't work. More than likely you will find yourself squirming uncomfortably in your seat or you will fall asleep. It only seems to work when you are with at least one other Scientologist. That includes all the great cognitions one is supposed to get from reading a Scientology book. They just don't happen when you read them alone or they sort of "get there" half-way and then fizzle out.
I know about people coming into Scientology from reading a book and I can't really say what that is all about since that never happened to me.
The highs were great and may have even been useful but it goes without saying it that the price one pays in time and commitment was too high. You pay with your life if you stay.

NEW ERA DIANETICS

After being in Scientology for a couple of years and grasping the fundamentals of auditing I started to think about the possibilities. What if you were to go back to the basic on the chain and what if you were to ask for the postulate that the pre-clear had made then. Wouldn't that result in more case gain?

I never went very far on the Bridge to Total Freedom; hardly any auditing, no auditor training because I was on STAFF. Need I say more?

I left staff eventually and was starting to enjoy it when who should I meet but a reg. I heard all the dirt on New Era Dianetics and why I should buy the course. "This is so much better because Ron found out you had to audit out the postulate the pc made on the basic incident.", I was told. I thought this was a little strange that I had thought of that years before and that the great Ron Hubbard had only now come up with it. I wonder when NED will be replaced by something better, new, and "improved"?

Paul

Your post about the good taste of coffee etc after auditing. Did this last? If not how long did it last?

I'm trying to discover the lasting benefits of scientology/auditing, but don't bother to answer if you've reached a point where you've had enough discussion.

"Your post about the good taste of coffee etc after auditing. Did this last? If not how long did it last?"

Sparrow
Well it would only last for the hour or whatever it was that I was on a break and only if the session was really good.

I have no idea how long I will keep posting but what I wanted to do on this thread was to talk "around" the subject of Scientology in the form of any off-the-wall ideas or memories that I might have had in order to give people a better idea. I know that those of you who are ex-Xcientologists already know much of what I mean. Since debating the negative aspects of Xcientology using logic has never been my strong point I decided to use another approach. I don't know what you would call it but it is an attempt to show it from as many crazy angles as possible, maybe angles that had never been thought of.
As it is, it is getting harder remember all the stories and post them without giving away my identity but I will try just the same.
Maybe someone else could give us their snapshot. That would probably jog my memory too.

Here is a snapshot.

I was new in $cientology (3-4 months or so),
and I was studying in the course room.
I had at this point learned that one had
to be very busy all the time, reading,
locking up words or using the demo kit,
or the course supervisor would come down
to you and ask you all kind of questions,
and I didn`t like that. But I would raise
my head no and then and look in the
direction of the course supervisor, to see
what he was up to. And what did I see?
He was sitting up there reading something
and he had one finger upp his nose.
Then he took something out, rolled it into
a ball and threw it on the floor.
And it didn`t make any sense to me, because
I didn`t think that an outstanding person
like a course supervisor in Scientology
would do such a ting.

Paul,

I've enjoyed reading your random recollections. Not everyone who posts logical arguements here has any 1st hand experience in Scientology, and those who do can be accused of having alterior motives.

But your recollections are your recollections. They illustrate many of the logical outpoints we discuss, but since they are actual exeriences rather than attacks, they have a strong cedibility.

Mike

Paul,
I met a guy who had been recruited into the sea org after only 3 "book 1" sessions. He said he felt like superman after auditing and wanted more. He believed himself to be OT3 from his past life, though he had been born in 1962.

The hook used on him was "come on into the sea org, we'll get you all the way up the bridge for free!" He tried really hard to grasp all of the lingo and idiosyncracies of members and at times became really confused. He was getting more and more down on himself. He felt he didn't belong and that he must be stupid; everyone was always mad at him and making him feel like a moron. He just wasn't "getting it" even though he tried so hard to learn.

After he had been on the EPF about 3 weeks, I was on the roof of AOLA having a cigarette and saw him try to jump off the roof of the main bldg. He was talked down and promptly routed off the EPF. Goodbye! Have a nice life! Thanks for selling everything you own to come here! Hope you figure things out!

I've seen more than one example like this in regards to staff. The common thread in my opinion is the systematic and purposeful process of breaking someone down and trying to make them feel as though they're not worthy or good enough to be there. Most people will react by trying harder to prove they are good enough. Some just crack and start believing they're not.

Even the first step of getting someone into scn (the test) is rigged so that NO ONE does well. But the people giving the test are trained to show that there is potential and hope for improvement and if the person cares enough about trying to make themself better, blah, blah.

I have experienced feeling really good after auditing as you described. But it was never anything lasting for me either.

Lucky

One more snapshot from the course room
in Oslo org.

I was sitting and studying when the course
supervisor called for all the students
attention, he had an announcement to make.
He said the name of a girl and told us that
she had just come back from Denmark where
she had completed OT V.

I hadn`t at this point any clue who she was,
or what an OT V was, but there she came into
the course room, and I smiled when I saw her,
she was good looking and she had the finest
pair of hooters and a really tight sweater.
She looked in my direction and smiled, and I
looked her in the face and kept on smiling.

About a week later, she told me and some
others that it was difficult to be an OT
in the org, because the rest was not as
spiritual as she was and they didn`t
understand her. Then she looked at me and
said:"But not you, you are a spiritual type,
I noticed it when I came in to the course
room, you connect spiritually with people".
I just smiled back.

Haarek

Your stories made me laugh. The funny thing is I've been in similar situations. Only goes to reinforce the point.

Yes, one must not stop to do anything in course. If your hand itches it must be a misunderstood word. Don't scratch find your MU instead!

"The common thread in my opinion is the systematic and purposeful process of breaking someone down and trying to make them feel as though they're not worthy or good enough to be there. Most people will react by trying harder to prove they are good enough."

Lucky:

How true! Whenever I was being pressured to give money or join staff or give up my time to do something I didn't agree with, I would sometimes say,"NO!" Realizing that they weren't getting anywhere with me the parting shot would inevitably be,"Don't worry. One day you'll cognite!" It was never enough for them to have someone who wanted to study Scientology and learn about it a step at a time. You had to be just like them or else they would pull out all the wise-cracks.