My girlfriend is a Scientologist

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Mindless
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My girlfriend is a Scientologist

Post by Mindless » Mon Jan 20, 2014 10:13 pm

Hey guys,

I suppose I should give a little background on what I find very peculiar situation.

My girlfriend and I met through a mutual friend and began dating. We instantly clicked and hit it off. As you would imagine, topics like religion and politics never really arose for a while. And as an Atheist religion is a topic I tend to avoid until I feel completely comfortable around a potential partner.

So let's fast forward to the day she tells me she's a Scientologist. Initially I wasn't convinced, I assumed she was joking. Although it quickly became clear that she wasn't, and that is when it sank in. I was confused and worried as I had developed feelings for her. I decided to accept it and see if it could work. I thought as long as it didn't interfere with my life, I could live with it.

Admittedly, the areas I have tended to contest and study have been religions with a deity/higher spirit. My perception of Scientology has always been negative despite knowing little about it, yet I didn't delve into it because I regarded it a complete waste of time. I asked her questions on everything but it only reaffirmed my (lack of) belief. It became clear to me that she may be clutching at straws at the idea of me accepting and being open to her beliefs. My position was made clear, I respect what she believes in and I reassured her that I don't doubt that it has worked for her. Ultimately, I feel content with my life and do not require any other influence on how I should be/feel.

I've kept this very brief and failed to mention some conflict and doubt between us. But here I am today completely unsure what to do. Can I live a happy and healthy relationship with contrasting religious views? Will Scientology eventually take its toll, or is it harmless at this level? And do you believe that she will stay true to her word about respecting my beliefs and avoid imposing her own on me?

Thanks!

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Wieber
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Re: My girlfriend is a Scientologist

Post by Wieber » Mon Jan 20, 2014 11:21 pm

Hi, Mindless. Welcome to the Bake.

Your girlfriend may have every intention of respecting your beliefs and so on. The Scientology organization may not let her do that, especially in and when they find out you have money or possessions that can be converted into cash.

If they do let that go there will be continual pressure on her for more of her time, more of her money and more of her participation in Scientology.

From what I've seen relationships among people who are both in Scientology are very difficult on those involved. Relationships where one person is in and the other isn't tend to be more difficult.

If you're determined to work at it to make it work you could do that. Step one would be to stop lurking and posting here as this is a proscribed web site for those involved in Scientology. Good luck.
“Think wrongly if you please, but in all cases think for yourself.”
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Don Carlo
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Re: My girlfriend is a Scientologist

Post by Don Carlo » Mon Jan 20, 2014 11:40 pm

You could "just date" and not commit for six months, but never lend her money for any vague reason - it likely will go to courses. A lot of people quit Scientology; it's expensive and they find the Internet. Don't think you can save her; she has to save herself. They hook the new people early with scare stories about Suppressive Persons who happen to be anyone who makes a peep of criticism. You can be a healthy, fun-loving, successful person completely outside Scientology. If after six months she is trying to drag you to Scientology courses, find another girlfriend.

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Wieber
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Re: My girlfriend is a Scientologist

Post by Wieber » Mon Jan 20, 2014 11:59 pm

What Don Carlo said. ^^^
“Think wrongly if you please, but in all cases think for yourself.”
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It's a Wog's Life
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Re: My girlfriend is a Scientologist

Post by It's a Wog's Life » Wed Jan 22, 2014 4:33 am

Hi Mindless,

I'm not a Scientologist either - and I've never been one. My spouse is, however, so maybe I can give you some helpful thoughts. You don't say how old you are or how long she's been in. As others have said, lots of people leave - but it seems to me the longer they've been in or the older they are the less likely it is.

While your gf may (now) be fine with you having different beliefs, or even discussing those differences, make no mistake about it - the staff at the org will not be. She will be under a lot of pressure to "disseminate" to you. She'll be pressured to bring you to events. When you're there you'll be enthusiastically asked if you had any "cognitions", what you thought, how you enjoyed it. These are not questions looking for real feedback - these are questions meant to determine if a) you are a suitable partner for a member and b) how soon you can be expected to join. Should you fail on either count your gf will be pressured to leave you -- for the sake of her eternity.

If you are perceived as a threat to the church there will be an all out campaign to infiltrate and even end your relationship. Your gf will be expected to report any disagreements you have about Scientology. She will be expected to report anything you read or ask her to read. If this relationship becomes valuable enough to you to want to stay in it you will need to decide to bite your tongue more often than you can imagine. Or, in other words, you will need to be dishonest about what may be a very important issue in your personal life. You cannot discuss Scientology with logic or rational reasoning - the two are mutually exclusive in conversations with members.

Your finances will be in jeopardy. Maybe not today - but eventually. I've seen people "donate" everything from the last coin in their wallet up to millions of <fill in the blank with money of your country>. Emergency funds, educational funds, living expenses --- all gone. If you can keep your monies absolutely separate and have strong enough boundaries that you won't bail her out when she's spent her last coin on courses, auditing, or donations then you may be able to protect yourself.

Can you look the other way, and keep quiet, knowing about the human rights abuses that are legion in Scientology? We don't even have to go into trafficking, forced abortions, missing people, or suspicious deaths. We can just talk about the treatment of staff at your local org (some of whom you will meet and like a whole lot). Most of these people work 7 days a week, every week, with little or no pay. They are lied to about conditions and pay in order to entice them to be on staff and they are coerced into staying through extortion and blackmail.

Are you willing to do that? Only you can decide. Maybe she's the one you've always dreamed of being with. You ask if you can have a happy, healthy, relationship. I don't know if there's a hard and fast answer to that. Almost all religious beliefs are based in an emotional experience. It's hard enough when a Lutheran hooks up with a Presbyterian. Much more difficult when a true believer and an atheist try to make a go of it. It requires deep respect and very solid boundaries - things that are not at all a part of the Scientology mind set. I've done it for years. It breaks my heart every single day to see my mate swindled, manipulated, and used by the church. It troubles me deeply to say nothing, when I want to get on my soapbox and rant (which is part of why I share what I can out here anonymously).

Whatever you decide, I wish you all the best.

Wog

It's a Wog's Life
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Re: My girlfriend is a Scientologist

Post by It's a Wog's Life » Wed Jan 22, 2014 8:17 pm

I think someone said this earlier but it bears repeating: You reading this board, or any similar site, much less participating will be seen as a significant threat to the church. Depending on how long your gf has been in it could be an immediate end to your relationship. If she's fairly new it might only set off red flags and a need to discuss with someone at the org -- which could be an immediate end to your relationship. Have no doubt about it, these people are dead serious about neutralizing any threat of exposure (truth).

If you want to continue to read and post (and I encourage you to do so), be sure to use google incognito or something similar, dump your internet history, and disable email notifications from this site and others like it.

It's also important to mention OSA, Office of Special Affairs - I like to think of them as the men in black (hi boys...), monitors this and other sites. They will try to put together who you are from the clues you leave behind. The fewer specifics you give the safer you, and your relationship, will be.

Wog's Life

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Wieber
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Re: My girlfriend is a Scientologist

Post by Wieber » Thu Jan 23, 2014 12:53 am

The first time I got away from Scientology, I had the clothes I was wearing, a small suitcase of personal possessions and a large debt. Fortunately I had family to go and be with to help me get back on my feet.

Scientology is relentless about getting money from its members. If someone has a bank account they want to know how much is in it and then they want that. If a person has a credit card they want to know what the credit limit is and then they want that amount paid to Scientology. They also want the card number, expiry date and code that's on the back so they can make charges to the card whenever they want. If a person has an inheritance coming they want it now or they want a load taken out against it. If a person owns a house they want them to take a mortgage on the house and put the money into Scientology. If a person has a life insurance policy and their is a cash withdrawal value on it they want that. They do not take no for an answer. They want that money. The agents of the so called church consider that the money already belongs to them and they will stop at nothing to actually take possession of it.

The one scenario you can count on happening with you and your girlfriend is that Scientology will find out how much money you have and how much money you can get and they will get it from you. Once that's done they may get her to disconnect from you. If you join with her, the end will likely be the same. She'll be recruited onto staff or into the sea org and they will tear your relationship apart. I have seen this happen over and over and over and over and I have experienced it.

You will end up with nothing, no girlfriend, no useful connections and in debt.

There are two ways out of this for you. One is to break up with her and walk away. The other is to get her out, not away, out. Then you both walk away. The situation will become even more complicated if she has family who are in Scientology.

The second option will be a great deal of work and effort on your part and it may not succeed. If you choose that option the book to get that will tell you how to do it is Steven Hassan's Freedom of Mind. You can't let her know that you have that book or that you are doing what that book says to do. If she finds out you are back to option one.
“Think wrongly if you please, but in all cases think for yourself.”
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Don Carlo
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Re: My girlfriend is a Scientologist

Post by Don Carlo » Thu Jan 23, 2014 2:59 am

Ask her casually about her immediate family - like where were you born? If her surname sounds Irish, ask her if she's Irish. Ask Who did you get your hair color/freckles/eye color from? Were you the first born? If she asks why you care, tell her you're interested in genealogy, or DNA, or birth order. See if there are signs of a broken relationship. If she openly says her parent or sibling is "bigoted" or "suppressive," there's your answer. Find another girlfriend.

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heyjupiter
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Re: My girlfriend is a Scientologist

Post by heyjupiter » Thu Jan 23, 2014 5:04 pm

Hi there Mindless. I can relate completely to your story. I have recently ended my relationship with a scientologist after being together for almost 7 years. I have posted on here for about a year now so you may find some of my comments helpful. When I first got involved with him, I knew nothing about scientology other than things I had read in the press about celebrities such as Tom Cruise. I was neither for or anti- just not that interested or informed. He seemed to have some pretty interesting ideas about life, self improvement, dealing with emotional traumas. I had just ended a 16 year relationship with my sons father after his drug use had spiralled into smoking heroin. I was emotionally battered but wanting to make a new start for myself and my kid.
He spoke to me about Narconon and scientology- that's how I found out he was a member. I was curious so he bought me a copy of DMSMH and I read it. It was mainly a lot of re-hashed existing psychology- twisted to suit a new kind of therapy. Some of it rang true- the hook that gets you in. Some of it even then I was wary of.
He was pretty secretive about the level of his involvement at first- I don't think he wanted to scare me off . I didn't go to his house too often- it was a hoarders paradise- not a seat to be had, you had to negotiate a path through boxes and magazines and paperwork .I am talking about thousands and thousands of items. Most of the clutter was scientology correspondence, books, courses, flier, magazines.I felt sad that he lived like this- it was clear he was unable to let go of any of this stuff- it had literally taken possession of his house (and him I later discovered)
He was keen for me to go to his local Org with him so I went to a couple of events and that is when the alarm bells started ringing. I wasn't keen on the staff in there- they wanted to get my personal details and to sign up for courses. They separated me from him and began talking about getting a case analysis for me and starting me on auditing. I actually did a correspondence course relating to the book I had read. I was constantly told I had to answer questions by writing just what was said in the book. I realised this meant I was not to think for myself. It concerned me. So did the fact that at the events I attended they applauded a portrait of l Ron HUbbard- like obedient subjects. I received letters and calls every week pushing me to sign up for more courses. I even got home visits and a staff member walked into my house uninvited. He also discussed me with my partner, trying to get him to push me to buy more books. This is where I drew a line. From then on- I started to read and inform myself and the horrors about the organisation became more and more apparent. My partner in his scientology persona was controlling and emotionally abusive. I started to question scientology and that was taken as criticism. He would scream in my face that I was a moron and hostile to his beliefs, just for asking simple questions. He spent long periods away from me, and expected me to devote all my attention to him when it suited him. He would shun me for weeks at a time if I said anything that went against his viewpoint. I once suggested he might have a verruca as his foot was sore when he was trying on a pair of boots. He yelled in my face and ordered me out of the shop, saying I was being 're-stimulative' and harmful to him. He had a serious accident and refused to let me call an ambulance and I had to sit by for hours while he received scientology touch assists. when the other scientologist left, he was drifting in and out of consciousness and I called an ambulance- SIX hours after the accident. Had he died, I would have been responsible. When I was ill, he yelled in my face, calling me 'effect of illness'.
His loyalty was always to the group first. I discovered knowledge reports written about him which showed he was spied on. He was put in a condition of doubt for going out to dinner with someone instead of buying courses. But he accepted this interference in his life and relationships and this horrified me. I started to read more- including Steve Hassans Combatting Cult Mind Control,visited sites such as Lermanet and this one.I read all of Wiebers story on here. It was a huge awakening and also a validation of my questions and doubts and it was brutally revealing to me. I realised he was a victim of this cult more than anything, but also that he was never going to leave. I realised too that all of the love and care and emotional energy I had ploughed into my relationship was worth NOTHING to him. It shattered me emotionally- worse than when I discovered my previous partners heroin abuse. I felt lied to and used and betrayed. I wrote a letter to his Org telling them why I wanted no contact with them. He forced me to do this under threat of disconnecting from me. As I wrote it, I knew I had signed the death warrant for our relationship. I was right. He has been ordered to handle me or disconnect from me. I won't be handled so our relationship is over. I was a great girlfriend. I picked flowers for him to put at the breakfast table. I painted him pictures, I stayed awake all night to fit in with his lifestyle. I dressed up at midnight so I wouldn't look drab for him when he came round. I made him laugh till he cried. I dug his car out of the snow. We sang and played music together. He said I was perfect for him and he had never felt closer to anyone and everyone outside the church agreed he was lucky to have found me. But I wasn't perfect at all because I wasn't a scientologist. He is vanished from my life as if he was never there, and I no longer exist except as a degraded being, enemy, SP. I lost seven years of my life loving someone who would never be allowed to share a future with me. Contemplate my story- in the brief detail I have given here- and proceed cautiously. My best wishes to you. xxx
Last edited by heyjupiter on Thu Jan 23, 2014 5:30 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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heyjupiter
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Re: My girlfriend is a Scientologist

Post by heyjupiter » Thu Jan 23, 2014 5:25 pm

Wieber wrote:The first time I got away from Scientology, I had the clothes I was wearing, a small suitcase of personal possessions and a large debt. Fortunately I had family to go and be with to help me get back on my feet.

Scientology is relentless about getting money from its members. If someone has a bank account they want to know how much is in it and then they want that. If a person has a credit card they want to know what the credit limit is and then they want that amount paid to Scientology. They also want the card number, expiry date and code that's on the back so they can make charges to the card whenever they want. If a person has an inheritance coming they want it now or they want a load taken out against it. If a person owns a house they want them to take a mortgage on the house and put the money into Scientology. If a person has a life insurance policy and their is a cash withdrawal value on it they want that. They do not take no for an answer. They want that money. The agents of the so called church consider that the money already belongs to them and they will stop at nothing to actually take possession of it.

The one scenario you can count on happening with you and your girlfriend is that Scientology will find out how much money you have and how much money you can get and they will get it from you. Once that's done they may get her to disconnect from you. If you join with her, the end will likely be the same. She'll be recruited onto staff or into the sea org and they will tear your relationship apart. I have seen this happen over and over and over and over and I have experienced it.

You will end up with nothing, no girlfriend, no useful connections and in debt.

There are two ways out of this for you. One is to break up with her and walk away. The other is to get her out, not away, out. Then you both walk away. The situation will become even more complicated if she has family who are in Scientology.

The second option will be a great deal of work and effort on your part and it may not succeed. If you choose that option the book to get that will tell you how to do it is Steven Hassan's Freedom of Mind. You can't let her know that you have that book or that you are doing what that book says to do. If she finds out you are back to option one.
What Wieber says about the destruction of your finances is true. I asked my ex about how to register as self employed as I was considering setting up a business. He has been self employed for at least 10 years. He didn't have a clue. It is highly likely then that he has never paid a cent in Income Tax. Instead, he has donated thousands to scientology for courses and auditing. He may well be imprisoned for this some day. Scientology won't care- they will disown him at any whiff of criminality that might spread itself onto them and he will be left to fend for himself. You have been warned.

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Dorothy
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Re: My girlfriend is a Scientologist

Post by Dorothy » Fri Jan 24, 2014 7:06 pm

Dear Mindless,

A warm and cheery welcome! to Clambake. I hope you will appreciate the feedback you'll get here: there are many years of experience and much wisdom available on the subject.

I thought this post from "It's a Wog's Life" was amazing. I could not have said it better myself. I have people very close to me who are died-in-the-wool kool-aid drinkers and this post IS the correct survival strategy imo- if you love them and feel its worth the compromise in order to avoid disconnection. I feel like I know you (IAWL)!
It's a Wog's Life wrote:Hi Mindless,

I'm not a Scientologist either - and I've never been one. My spouse is, however, so maybe I can give you some helpful thoughts. You don't say how old you are or how long she's been in. As others have said, lots of people leave - but it seems to me the longer they've been in or the older they are the less likely it is.

While your gf may (now) be fine with you having different beliefs, or even discussing those differences, make no mistake about it - the staff at the org will not be. She will be under a lot of pressure to "disseminate" to you. She'll be pressured to bring you to events. When you're there you'll be enthusiastically asked if you had any "cognitions", what you thought, how you enjoyed it. These are not questions looking for real feedback - these are questions meant to determine if a) you are a suitable partner for a member and b) how soon you can be expected to join. Should you fail on either count your gf will be pressured to leave you -- for the sake of her eternity.

If you are perceived as a threat to the church there will be an all out campaign to infiltrate and even end your relationship. Your gf will be expected to report any disagreements you have about Scientology. She will be expected to report anything you read or ask her to read. If this relationship becomes valuable enough to you to want to stay in it you will need to decide to bite your tongue more often than you can imagine. Or, in other words, you will need to be dishonest about what may be a very important issue in your personal life. You cannot discuss Scientology with logic or rational reasoning - the two are mutually exclusive in conversations with members.

Your finances will be in jeopardy. Maybe not today - but eventually. I've seen people "donate" everything from the last coin in their wallet up to millions of <fill in the blank with money of your country>. Emergency funds, educational funds, living expenses --- all gone. If you can keep your monies absolutely separate and have strong enough boundaries that you won't bail her out when she's spent her last coin on courses, auditing, or donations then you may be able to protect yourself.

Can you look the other way, and keep quiet, knowing about the human rights abuses that are legion in Scientology? We don't even have to go into trafficking, forced abortions, missing people, or suspicious deaths. We can just talk about the treatment of staff at your local org (some of whom you will meet and like a whole lot). Most of these people work 7 days a week, every week, with little or no pay. They are lied to about conditions and pay in order to entice them to be on staff and they are coerced into staying through extortion and blackmail.

Are you willing to do that? Only you can decide. Maybe she's the one you've always dreamed of being with. You ask if you can have a happy, healthy, relationship. I don't know if there's a hard and fast answer to that. Almost all religious beliefs are based in an emotional experience. It's hard enough when a Lutheran hooks up with a Presbyterian. Much more difficult when a true believer and an atheist try to make a go of it. It requires deep respect and very solid boundaries - things that are not at all a part of the Scientology mind set. I've done it for years. It breaks my heart every single day to see my mate swindled, manipulated, and used by the church. It troubles me deeply to say nothing, when I want to get on my soapbox and rant (which is part of why I share what I can out here anonymously).

Whatever you decide, I wish you all the best.

Wog
I agree with Wieber's and Don Carlos's input as well.

I personally know a couple in which one partner is and has been a scientologist for years. The scientologist-half donates tons of their money to scientology- like in the 6-figure category. The other partner is not and never has been a scientologist. I believe this kind of relationship in scientology is the exception to the rule. Like IAWL shows you, it is very difficult to carry out such a relationship and it is the non-scientologist who has to do all the work to prevent the scientologist from allowing the organization to destroy the family.

One of the main techniques of mind control that scientology uses, is to impose the group/organization directly in the middle of ALL intimate relationships. No true intimacy among individuals is allowed in scientology. For example: if you guys start having difficulties, she will have been conditioned to discuss your personal problems with her auditors, interviewers, ethics officers and even registrars (the person taking her money). NOTHING you say to her is private- meaning just between you and her. She is not allowed to withhold ANYTHING from her group, especially an auditor or ethics officer. You might say, well that's just a couple of people, maybe I can live with that. But its not. Many people have access to her auditing folder in which EVERYTHING she says is recorded: case supervisors, other auditors, Sea Org Mission staff and executives of the organization. She will also have an ethics file where all of her interaction with any ethics officer is also recorded.

This is THE MAIN reason why I personally, could never again be in a relationship with a scientologist. In your case, they are like her big, giant mafia family who will be all over your business as long as she is in, and, continuing on even if she leaves. If she ever gets recruited for staff it'll get even worse. If she decides she wants to join staff and you were to object, it'll be a huge problem for her and you.

Please think about these things. Sometimes the love between two people is stronger than the Totalitarian organization that seeks to own each and every molecule, brain cell and the very essence of who she is.

You might want to throw some "what if" questions to her to see what she says before you tie the knot. If you guys have assets, I'd suggest a pre-nup.

Oh, and READ the legal waiver she is required to sign in order for her to get auditing. If you marry her and she ends up having a nervous breakdown, they will want to sequester her, and you might have a legal battle on your hands.
“The sad truth is that most evil is done by people who never make up their minds to be good or evil.”
― Hannah Arendt

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heyjupiter
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Re: My girlfriend is a Scientologist

Post by heyjupiter » Fri Jan 24, 2014 10:21 pm

Great advice Dorothy- I wish I had had that kind of help in my relationship. I had to accept the disconnection in the end because I really couldn't tolerate that level of interference in my life after 7 years. I did however send a parting letter to my ex and hoped he read it. I just offered my friendship and support if he ever felt alone or in a dark place at any point in the future. Despite all the vitriol that he poured on me towards the end- I knew that wasn't him talking and so left a little light on should he ever one day leave or need help to leave.

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Wieber
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Re: My girlfriend is a Scientologist

Post by Wieber » Fri Jan 24, 2014 10:50 pm

Dorothy raises a point you should really be aware of. In Scientology there is no privacy.

I should put that in capital letters just to emphasize it.

IN SCIENTOLOGY THERE IS NO PRIVACY.

Scientology keeps records on everyone involved with Scientology and many people who are not involved. They keep these records in folders. I'm going to list the types of folders they keep. Two of them are my speculation but I wouldn't be surprised to find that they exist.

Central Files Folder
This folder is made for each person who buys something from Scientology and for whom the organization gets contact information. Once that happens the purchaser gets and endless stream of mail that never stops. Everything goes in there that can be found out about people who have purchased something but haven't gone beyond that.

Preclear Folder (PC folder)
This folder is made for each person who gets auditing in Scientology, which is pretty well everyone. Everything a person says while being audited or while undergoing a security check is written down and kept in these folders.

Ethics Folder
This folder is made for each person for whom a knowledge report has been written. It also contains any other reports, a record of a person's ethics interviews, lower conditions assignments, security check information and so on.

Staff Folder
This folder is made for each person who joins staff. It contains information on their staff training, their post, their training, their staff performance and so on.

The following are speculative but I have reason to believe they exist. I have named them but those may not be the actual names for them.

Valuable Documents Folder
This folder contains copies of a person's contracts and signed agreements.

Office of Special Affairs Folder
This folder contains everything on a person that can be collected and found out and collected. I suspect such a folder is opened for everyone involved in Scientology, everyone connected to someone involved in Scientology, and everyone Scientology finds to be of interest, either as an enemy or an ally.
“Think wrongly if you please, but in all cases think for yourself.”
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Don Carlo
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Re: My girlfriend is a Scientologist

Post by Don Carlo » Fri Jan 24, 2014 11:04 pm

If anybody here in the US is married to a CoS member, especially if they run their own business, do your taxes "Married Filing Separately" so if they get in big trouble for tax fraud, you are legally protected. This may cause a fight if the overall taxes are higher. Act dumb and obsessed and file separately as early as possible. Then, when he or she wants you to sign the taxes, tell him or her you already filed separately, and act dumb again. It's easier than a three-month battle. Also, if you warn him or her in advance, they may forge your name on the married filing jointly Form 1040, and send it in. Then if you tell the IRS your spouse forged your name on the tax return, your spouse is in big trouble, it would be the end of your marriage and trigger back audits of both of you.

And, yes, a pre-nup is a very good idea, and then don't co-mingle the finances of "your" assets, whether it's your house or your bank account. No lending money, no agreeing to a second mortgage. Get obsessed with books like Suze Orman's Financial Guidebook and her save-for-the-future mantra.

It's a Wog's Life
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Re: My girlfriend is a Scientologist

Post by It's a Wog's Life » Sun Jan 26, 2014 4:43 pm

I thought this post from "It's a Wog's Life" was amazing. I could not have said it better myself. I have people very close to me who are died-in-the-wool kool-aid drinkers and this post IS the correct survival strategy imo- if you love them and feel its worth the compromise in order to avoid disconnection. I feel like I know you (IAWL)!
Thanks, Dorothy :)

Speaking of privacy. Thanks to one of those "folder" issues the church likes to create in order to generate more funds from the desperate, my mate is not currently auditing - and hasn't been for a quite a while. Even without that I assume anything and everything I say about the org/scientology/scientologists we know will be shared. And dissected. I am very very careful. I don't object to attendance at events even if it means s/he will miss family functions. I don't question bizarre statements about stats I know are bogus. I hand over 3-6 pieces of mail daily and bite my tongue about waste/spam. I filter what I say about people I know from the org. The only thing I've drawn a hard line about is my name on mailing lists. I refuse to sign in when I attend events at the org. I made it very clear to my spouse if my name ever showed up on a mailing list it would be his/her job to get it off.

Personally I think a pre-nup is essential for everyone considering getting married. That being said, if you are considering marrying a scientologist it needs to be more than that. Pre-nups are, typically, for what happens if you split up. You need boundaries for how your day to day funds are handled. Ours are never mingled. We each have our own income and our own accounts. They don't mix. We have agreements about who is responsible for different expenses. I had a business partner once who played a little loose with my money and I came to this relationship primed to take care of my assets.
I'm going to list the types of folders they keep. Two of them are my speculation but I wouldn't be surprised to find that they exist.
Wieber - I'm curious - which two are speculation? I saw the central files room at one of the ideal orgs. The person working that day explained to us pretty much what you said about every receipt and bit of info kept about anyone who ever purchased anything -- going back as far as the early 60's. I've always assumed there was a file, somewhere, with my name on it.

Wog's Life

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