I made the mistake of dating a Scientologist. He lied and didn't tell me he was one until I'd known him a few months. By the time he told me it took me a few weeks to get away. He tried to make Scientology look so great and so harmless. But his agression and mind control started to come out - it was obvious he would start trying to make me become one, his whole family and every one of his friends are COS, clear, OT whatever. He started trying to control my life, and it became obvious he had serious sexual issues from being molested by family members - which he somehow justified as acceptable.

I finally dumped him. Finding out I was pregnant later was a conflict, but him finding out made it even worse. He launched an attack to try and make me abort that scared me to death, and now that the deadline for that has passed, well, now everyone has to have lawyers and the police are involved. I want nothing from him but to forget him forever - and his whacko family - but they don't give up. Revenge is everything to them. They are insane robots that just keep it up. I feel sorry my child has such a crazy person as 1/2 of its genetic make-up. Don't ever fool yourself that being involved with a Scientologist is good. They wil detroy you if you don't do what they demand.

Good for you that you dumped him Anon.

They will never give up Anon, the moment they
give up they 'fail' as $cientologists.
They have the ability to shut of all good sense
if it stands in their way, so they just relentlessly keep walking like robots.
They call it 'keeping their eye on the target',
be focused, etc. To normal people those things
mean something else.

One can get tired of less than a ronbot, but you
strike me as a person with intellect and
stamina.

I hope it all works out for you and your baby.

I suggest you watch the video of Astra Woodcraft and see what she did concerning her baby and the child having a father who was deep into Scientology.

They will give up at a certain point if they can count it as a win.

You will make it through this. Many of us here have and you will, too.

Blondie

How do you make it look like a win to them???

I get two different opnions on this. The people at LMT say that he will disconnect. So will they harrass and threaten me forever - or will he disconnect? They say he will be barred from enjoying his COS privileges until I'm "handled" and if they can't "handle" me then he has to disconnect.

Now I'm confused.

Anonymous, it really depends on what you do. The cult encourages eternal harassment to a passive victim. However, if you get active (e.g. sending every preclear you know a copy of OT3), they will immediately declare you.

Anon,
Record any calls he makes to you. Send a letter to him via FedX (so you know he has received it, if you send it certified, he can avoid picking it up a the post office)telling him to cease and desist. If the letter is on a lawyer's letter head the better. If he continues to harass you, get a restraining order placed on him. He will then have to disconnect. Other than that, your only other recourse is to move and leave no forwarding address and have an unlisted phone number.

Good luck to you.

Slicer:

That's assuming being declared a Suppressive Person would end harassment, which I don't think is the case.

Direct action against the Church is not to be advocated lightly, because it has consequences that one must be ready to face, mainly being a prime target for their pressure tactics and bogus lawsuits. Maybe you have the strength to risk it, but not everyone does.

Anonymous:
Doing nothing is not an option either. However I think Breeze has the best advice. Make it clear by official means that you do not want any further contact from him or anyone affiliated with the Church. Some others here who have left the Church might have some extra advice for you...

Best of luck,

Paladin.

Anon,

One more thing I thought of. If he continues to call you after you have asked him to stop, call your phone company they will explain how to stop harassing calls. If you have caller ID it's easier to do. Each time he calls, report his call and the number to the phone company. After he has called 3 times the phone company will report him to the police and send him a letter stating that they will disconnect his phone if the calls continue.

Best of Luck

Anonymous,

If you have caller ID, in some states, you can actually block certain numbers from calling you at all.

You make it look like a "win" to them if they get you to stop something they don't like. In Astra's case, she sued the father for child support and went to the meetings armed with knowledge of the law. They told her he doesn't make much money and the judge would only order based on what he makes. She knew better and knew that a judge would make an order of child support based on his earning "potential", not what he currently earns. If he is choosing to work below his earning potential, he would have to go get a real job to pay his support. Thus, the 'church' would lose some of their slave labor.

She gave them a "win" by dropping the child support and they stopped harassing her. You really need to watch the video. It is available on LMT Media. It is in several parts and you can only watch the last part where they talk about her child. It is very insightful and will give you the strength to continue.

If you do not want an abortion, DO NOT GET ONE. If you somehow get yourself talked into getting one, when you get to the clinic, tell them you are under duress and do not want an abortion. They will help you get to safety.

My recommendation is that you disconnect from him. Women find ways to support their kids all the time without the help of fathers and you can do it, too. If you must go after child support, do not meet with him or any church leaders under the guise of helping. If you do meet with them, it should be in a mediator's office or some other neutral ground.

Yes, there are terrible stories here, but many of us have broken free and have moved on with our lives. You are one step ahead in that (I think) you are not a member, are only connected to a member in a fairly permanent way.

YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS!

Blondie

Thanks for the input all of you - but it's already gone a lot further than what I must have conveyed in my first note. Lawyers are already hired, letters already exchanged. He is being investigated by the police for his threatening stalking tactics and will not stop - he laughs at this and says COS owns the police department. Getting declared is not what I want for me or my baby - that will mean an increase in the pain and pressure - and definitely harm to us.

Restraining orders do not cause them to disconnect - he continues on within his 'legal" parameters with the lawyers. Moving does not stop them - they get your address in five minutes - any PI can find you of they want to. Changing phone numbers has offered some relief at least from those lovely calls from his family threatening me.

It's gone a lot farther than I think I illustrated before. I have hired incredibly aggressive lawyers - hoping that will prevail in the end. I've enlisted the help of ex-COS - victims ofchild abuse from COS - everything.
I still don't understand what it is that can make them disconnect. I wish I did.

Blondie - have talked to Astra and seen all the tapes.

Want nothing to do with the guy - ESPECIALLY not his filthy Reid Slatkin money.

I'm due any minute now so there's no abortion.

I just want to know how to make them disconnect. Anything just to make them go away and leave me and my baby alone. Being armed with the law doesn't necessarily make you anything but a knowledgable victim of their dishonesty and tactics.

Anonymous: Post his personal information here. Any and all valid return addresses from any Scn mailings (including email addresses) you get should be posted to Xenu.net's boards.

I'm not going to tell you just what results you may or may not get from that...

Why not write an editorial piece for your newspaper, or a newspaper in L.A. or Clearwater, telling them what you have suffered at the hands of co$. That should get you declared suppressive.

Another valid argument against sex outside of marriage. I guess co$ doesn't care about that kind of thing, like a mainstream religion would.

I cannot believe someone would ask a person in trouble to post information that could identify her and get her into even more trouble with the Church than she is already (note that apparently her only mistake was to date a Scientologist...)

Slicer, your advice is completely irresponsible. If you feel that it is such a good idea, then post your own real information and see what happens before suggesting it to others.

Anonymous:

I'm going to tell you what I would do if I was in your place, given the elements you have given us here.

If I was willing/able to go without it, trying to deal with them into leaving me alone (signed, sworn and approved by the judge who placed the restraining order) might be a way. I might propose to agree not to get child support for instance, since that likely means I'd have dealings with the guy over it for a long time...

That might look as a win to them, they might say "hey look, this girl thinks she's so wrong that she signed something saying he does not owe her child support", which is the idea. If I wanted to strike such a deal, I would double, heck triple proof it. I'd try to have a judge review and approve it, making it clear to the judge (privately, if necessary) what I wished this deal to accomplish. The deal would make it crystal clear that the ex-boyfriend, his lawyers or anyone associated with him or the Church of Scientology are not to contact me, my family, friends or my counsel ever again and that all current claims in justice are settled.

However, this is just a suggestion from someone who does not have the full picture, and is not a lawyer, so you need to get some more informed opinions before making any decision. You also need to make sure that you are okay with whatever actions you take. Raising a child alone is hard, more so without child support... Although if you considered abortion, you might want to consider adoption as well, but you probably thought about this a great deal already.

I do not offer advice lightly, but I have one piece for you: Talk. Talk about it to your friends, your family. Talk about it with your lawyer. Talk about it with people who have left the Church of Scientology and have had similar experiences. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Talk, talk, talk.

I truly feel sorry for you, and I sincerely hope you can have peace quickly.

Kindest regards,

Paladin.