Catarina's story - a little about my scientology experience. Joining, being put in a disciplinary work camp, finding the internet and finally leaving.

Catarina, your description of emotional shut-off sounds very much like what happened to Winston Smith in Orwell's 1984 after he was "re-educated." He too lost interest in everything.

Thank you for having the courage to share your story with us. If more people expose the abuse, then even Scientologists themselves will cry for reform.

I will read the stories from Sheryl and Catharina, ASAP. Do you recommend reading the book Orwell's '1984', by the way? (It is a little bit easier to read about fictive persons in such cases, I think.) I am very interested in this thing about this sort of 'depression' or whatever it is called, which appears to be used on people in Scientology and other 'Totalitarian systems' (T-Sphere) -I use the term T-Sphere here also with the T as a symbol on Thetans (The beings in systems from Elron Hubbards mentor: Aleister Crowley, alias master THErion). They appear to use something, which I in my own term is calling 'HID' 'Hypnotically Induced Depression'. I have (and do still) fell this thing on myself, and is working to get out of it! (Where I am having very much progress at the moment!) One simply doesn't care about anything, or gets anything done! It's really terrible, as you can imagine! It is probably a consequence of this 'you don't mean anything little friend', which these organisations are so systematically 'screaming' into peoples heads! *
(Ps. My personal story is not just about being in Scientology (that visit was short and relatively insignificant, even though I did se very much about this organisation during this time), but about having grown up in an environment from this, what I call the 'T-Sphere'.)

TO XENO:

Yes, I would recommend reading George Orwell's "1984." There are many similarities to Scientology in that book.

I don't think 'thetan' comes from Crowley's alias 'Master Therion', Xeno. You might as well say that 'thetan' derives from 'theos', the Greek word for 'god'. Do you have any specific evidence that Elron's use of 'theta' derives from Crowley?

(FWIW, I believe Crowley would have identified Hubbard as a 'Black Brother' -- roughly, a person who, having failed to be personally transformed by magick, instead uses the techniques of magick for ego-gratification, power, and self-aggrandizement.)

(shrug) Hubbard said he used "theta" because it's the first letter of "thought." Or something illiterate like that... the Greek symbol theta is actually the first "phoneme" of the word, since it stands for the sound "th."

Being picky here, but surely the most perfect being (according to himself) known to modern man (modern, I guess, meaning the past few billion years) would get it right...

peace... speedwell

I'm getting a dead link on Catarina's story
fellas (webmaster) Anybody know how I can get on ?

Try e-mailing Catarina and tell her at

stellaria@hotmail.com OR

cpamnell@yahoo.com

I found a more current e-mail for Catarina...

catarina@pamnell.com

There's some major technical problems with my ISP for the moment and site is not up - I also can't access email right now

I have just rearranged my site a bit, and whenever the technical problems are fixed I'll check to make sure my story didn't get lost in the process...

TO CATARINA PAMNELL
Regarding your technical problems with your ISP!
Have you got my e-mail with subject answer from Peter

Best regards

To Peter:
Got your mail now, thanks.

My web page is also back up.

Dear Catrina, I just read your story. And I am totally SHOCKED. I heard bits and pieces about this (cult) . I am so glad you got out safe. There is a God and he spared your life. God Bless!!!!!!!

Dear shannon p.,
Thank you so much. Yes, I was fortunate. Some people have fared a lot worse.
http://www.b-org.demon.nl/scn/deaths/

hi, catarina, here is charles, just red your story, I never was on staff, but long time public, I tell you, scientology was fun until the new management came...1982..with their crazy money cycles, ruining some friends and many of my friends left....me, too. The philosophy can work, but not under those circumstances, soon you can read my story there, I have to translate it in English first....the experiences of a public.... I think up there in the management they are not good, to tell it in a "nice" way....you hear from me.