Part 10 Expansivity Released (cont.)
At this point she abruptly changed track and inquired if the previous incident had been dated correctly. After I responded that it had, she then queried me about its duration: "Does the incident have a different duration?". In an instant the answer came to me as if attached to a live electrical wire: "Yes, yes it does, about ten seconds longer!". I was already at the beginning of the incident when my auditor sent me there and I had begun to scan through it with almost the same delicious sense of anticipation I had once felt as a small child at Christmas, slowly opening a present that I was almost certain contained my heart's desire of the moment - drawing out the pleasure, extending that sense of knowing with certainty, while at the same time not really knowing.
As I approached the point in the incident where I had stopped in previous runs through, I began to feel the dull pressure behind my eyes more acutely. My objectified visual image gave way to an all-pervading sense of movement confined and seeking to simultaneously escape in all directions. I felt/heard a sharp pop and for the briefest instant (really no time at all) experienced the same expansion that I had as a child. But on this occassion the process was so rapid and so total that I felt myself to have infinitely enlarged - right past the point of fear, dread and the need to hold back - to the point of encompassing the immensity of being.
In the next instant I felt myself back in the frame of the incident, poised like a humming bird in mid-air, waiting patiently and motionless for the man before me to stop laughing hysterically. As he did I had the clearest sense of rapt attention that I can ever recall. Next, I heard, or rather directly perceived, a message that can be most directly and succintly translated into words as: "Remember, find the others, then seek the source". With that he pursed his lips and blew gently through them towards me. The sense of being playfully carried away from him on that breeze marks the end of the incident.
As I sat across from my auditor in that same between-worlds revery that accompanies the transition from dream sleep to waking consciousness, I felt a profound sense of peace and plenitude, tinged with the lightest possible top note of melancholy and longing. Bringing me all the way back, my auditor asked if the incident had erased; I responded by telling her that I hoped it never would, but that I had, indeed, completely blown the pain we had begun the session to address.
True to form, my auditor did her best to get me to accompany her to the mission, but I made some lame excuse about having a previous appointment, emptied my wallet into her hands in heartfelt thanks, and bolted for the door. For the remainder of the day I just had to stay outside to watch hummingbirds, butterflies and anything else that moves effortlessly through the air in defiance of gravity.