Hi all,

I've been lurking for a while now and decided I should at the very least, say hello and add my support to the current situation.

Can't say I have any experience of big stuff like Int, DM, disconnection, declared, harassed etc but I was a public scn-ist for quite a few years trying to crawl my way up the bridge and saw an awful lot of misery, manipulation, threats, blatent lying and very immoral behaviour from staff and other public that leaves me in no doubt this is an organisation that is set up right from the beginning to be deceitful, manipulative and have total disregard for any law of any land it finds itself in. Such is a totalitarian movement.

I was initially snared by the help-yourself hook of dianetics, took some courses, quite cheap (of course), then went onto the comm course. The people all seemed genuinely nice and sincere and became interested in the general idea of improving mankind and myself. So I became interested in the levels - sold to me as the "new" technology - dianetics being outdated.
It was here that the religion angle was started to be pushed. Many reg cycles and "breifings" (ker-ching!) kept pushing this and I went for it in a buddhist know-thyself manner, ie: it was a philisophy and you lived your life by it and that was all cool, very much like buddhism in which I had had an interest.
Then this stupid sunday service c*£p started and the doubts started to kick in.
I didnt really say anything about it. How could I? Everyone was just sooo nice and trustworthy. I also hadn't got too far up the bridge so I figured that my viewpoint would change on this aspect. The tech had so far been fun and the absurdities of xenu etc were unknown to me (of course).

Later on, of course, I got all the b*(!&%ks about getting stuck and how it was all somehow my fault, pts, out-ethics whatever.
This equalled more money of course. So far I could afford to pay it but then I had some majorly heavy regging done to get me to ias patron. I felt on cloud 9 for about a week as everyone in the org showed me respect and thanking me and I even got to shake Heber's hand - wow!
A week later I was a nobody again. I thought it would get me at least some respite from being regged, but no, I was now someone who was "responsible", "standing up to suppression", "upstat" yadayada.

So now I'm at the point probably all scns get to - scn the philosophy/auditing seems OK, the levels, at least were fun (but not exactly mind-blowing as advertised), but the people are just too zealous and complete bastards.
Every step I kept telling myself "just this payment, then I can take it easy and pay off my debts, just this one next thing". It didnt happen of course. I was broke, nearly lost my job, lost touch with family and friends,
and the squeeze still kept coming. More money for auditing to fix up problems _I_ had caused. More money to get me to the next IAS level. More breifings. More requests for my time whether for study or helping round the org. And more pressure to join staff, finally culminating in the IAS event where DM mentions "the S word" right at the end when pushing for staff. The 3 or 4 weeks after this my life was a living hell. Almost every break time and lunchtime being talked to by a variety of staff members trying to soften me up, trying to find the one thing that would make me join staff.
Then one day after another weekend studying I was called into a room. There waiting for me were 4 staff members.
All placed themselves between me and the door. They meant business. They were after a product. I then wasted the next 2 hours of my life telling them what I had already told them a million times before. I didn't want to join staff.
Why didn't I want to join staff? I guess I just didn't want my entire day being controlled by someone I couldn't respect. I didn't use those words, but almost. Also, I still had a day job and was still in touch with the real world. Guess I never really bought into it all with enough zeal ...
I got away after midnight and I had had enough. I was close to tears. I decided to stay away from the org for a bit. Not permanently, just time to give myself some breathing space. I knew I would be out-ethics blowing but at that moment I coudn't give a damn. I couldn't face going back. I couldn't face distorting my own worldview to somehow "agree" that what they did to me was ok. In there perverted view they were in-ethics, doing the right thing, would never admit otherwise, and would never apologise.
Apologising, I realised was something the church could never do. Either as a group, an org or as an individual. Not difficult to see why, of course. It was in Green on white (policy letter).
Not once in nearly 10 years of being a div 4 public did I get one admitance that I had been badly treated. If I ever had a complaint I would be sent to ethics, write up my overts/withholds (crimes) and do the conditions and too many times I would come out the other end "agreeing" that it actually _was_ my fault all along. And it is for this that I probably hate them the most (I'm fuming as it I type as it all comes back to me). There are many threads about brainwashing on ocmb and I think the ethics conditions and writing up OWs is probably the most insidious and evil part to it. Hubbard might have designed them with good intent (debatable, I know) but this is how they are used today and have been for most of their existence.

So time went by, I was at home, I had free time again. I wasn't studying and I wasn't hangng about the org listening to all the usual crap. The Ethics Officer called round a few times to try and recover me but I consistently and firmly kept telling him I was taking time out and I won't be back for a while. In the back of my mind was the rapidly forming idea of not going back at all. Still difficult a concept to deal with intellectually and emotionally as I still hankered after the bridge to total b*%&&()%s.
I dreaded the knock on the front door or the phone ringing in case it was the EO, but as more and more time went by I grew in confidence, aided by the fact that I didn't live nearby. Eventually I heard that he had routed out of the SO, got a wog job and the new Reg just wasnt as good/forceful/"on-purpose"/unreasonable enough because I never heard from the org again. I have no idea if they ever did try to get in touch again because I moved away from the area.

So here I am 3 years later, happy, life back on track and probably know alot more about the COS than my Ethics Officer does. How ironic is that? For years I looked up to him and the staff as shining examples of self-sacrifice and altruism but now realise they have all been duped. I feel sorry for them all being caught up in the mind-grinder that is Hub's legacy. They are all spiritual cannon-fodder.

So my message to you all who have been vocal critics is keep it up. Consider this an ACK. Or more likely a half-ack

I still am nervous about revealing my identity but at last thanks to Anonymous I can get down to London org and make myself heard. An incredibly difficult thing to do but a huge step forward in undoing the damage to my psyche.

Thank you all. Especially ocmb for all the information on this site and the critics for their public criticism. Watching Tory's videos was just an incredibly emotional thing for me. And Go Anonymous!

thanks,
I'll chip in when I can.
Harry

Hello Harry...glad to have you aboard the OCMB!

Yes, the outside world knows more about the CoS than the members seem to do, with many thanks to the critics and now Anonymous. *gotta love 'em*

Glad you saw the light and you're out now.

Hi Harry,

Welcome and thanks for sharing your story.

Anonymous with their anonimity and numbers have given a lot of people the feeling of safety. I am glad that they helped you to stand up.

Great to see you are enjoying and making the most of your freedom.

Maybe Scientology is the path to total freedom, but only if you manage to get out - those here who have escaped seem to have a deep appreciation of being free.

Harry

Welcome to OCMB

Great post and I understand so well what you've been through.
re the 4 people that tried to gang recruit you,
I remember a time when four people arrived at my door to try to recruit me, after I repeatdly told them that there was no way I was going to join staff again.
Two of them were SO members on a recruitment mission and the other two were from the local HCO=Hubbard Communication Office.

I came back home from the park, around 8.30pm, where I took the
dogs for their walk, put the dogs in the back yard and when I went to the front door the four people were waitng for me. My first gut reaction was to tell them to go to hell,but instead I told them that they could come in- I was instilled in me,in my younger age, that if you have visitors, you always invite them in,give them something to eat and drink and treat them with respect-.
When I invited them in, I told them that I did not want to discuss recruitment. They supposedly agreed. After a while they started to talk about the subject again.and wouldn't let up.
I think they left around midnight.

Of course I didn't rejoin staff.
I have been on staff few years beforehand and it was one looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong NIGHTMARE.

I'm glad you are posting here. It feels great to post,doesn't it?

Opter

I'm just WILD about Harry!!

Welcome to the OCMB!

Thanks for coming to the Bake and telling your story, harry.

Dear Harry- Welcome!

Thank you for telling your story. Perhaps you did not see the worst, but you certainly saw enough! More public should tell their stories. It is not
all about being on staff or the SO. You were duped out of your time and
money and not to mention your sanity for part of your life and we can all
relate. If we were on staff, we were the ones "handling" the public such
as yourself, so we need to hear your story as well!

As you know you are now better off for holding your ground and refusing to join staff. Let them have their delusion that you are "out-ethics". YOU now see what THEIR brainwashed minds are incapable
of comprehending.

Yes there are so many things that they could have apologized for, things of their own teaching that they routinely violate, for hard-selling you, for failing to grant you beingness, not respecting your self-determinism, evaluating for you, for squirreling pts handlings on you, for not truly caring about your success and well-being, and only thinking about their
stats, ie, stat-pushing. I could go on but you get the point.

But as you now know, too, the cult is incapable of any introspection of
any kind, they do not admit any error, in fact they encourage it. We can pressure them but IMO it is their own internal undoing from within that
will be their ultimate downfall. By walking out you are no longer helping them to keep up their illusion that they are a religion. You have withdrawn your support and if you never attend a demonstration, you have already
done the most important thing.

I wish the best for you as you get on with your life and put your cult experience behind you. At least now the chances of you ever joining another cult are next to NONE- hooray for that! There are so many
people who could be potentially caught into it and now you are not one
of them. You go, Harry. And now you can start a REAL spiritual journey, because you are more enlightened than ever, and you can study
anything you want, be anything you want because you no longer have
the ropes of the mind-cult around your brain.

That's my 2-cents. Bye for now Harry.

Welcome Harry!

Doesn't it feel good to share your truth?!

I too was public and didn't have the big stuff either, yet we both still experienced the lies and deception of Scientology. I love what Dorothy wrote!

It is important to share whatever the scope or scale of the experience. I believe the cumulative experiences help others realize their truth and hopefully get out of the lie sooner than later. So thanks for sharing yours!

We all do what we can. It all matters, every bit.

Once again! Welcome Harry! So glad you are out!

Harry, what you say about not apologizing for bad service is so true and it reflects Elron's mindset that he and his tech can never be wrong. Once my PC data had been compromised and it was obviously out-tech. (Little did I know that it happens all the time. I was naive enough to believe they had professional standards.) I was upset with the pinheads that did it and I requested that the CS give me an R-factor that it was out-tech and appropriate measures had been taken to correct it. Over the course of 9 years I mentioned it to everyone I was in contact with and every time they were so nice and offered me a free ARCX session, which I always refused because that was like agreeing to their contention that it was all in my head. Finally after 9 years I was called up by somebody that told me that the CS had an R-factor to me and they expected I would be happy to hear it. It felt somewhat good to tell them that it was 8 years and 364 days too late, I had moved on and was quite uninterested in it by now. Welcome to Freedom, Harry.

Hey Harry

You have much to say and contribute...

The more people that were in speak out the better...

You have a unique story that may save someones life..or a good portion of it..

Glad you are here...and not there,

Love

Hoot

iLL ADD A MIGHT HELLO

FROM WARWICKSHIRE!

Hi Harry, please make sure that you wash your hands very, very thouroughly, you never know what kind of diseases these body thetans infested people may carry . . .

I was curious to know ( if that is ok with you ), if Ginger and Nicole were still the IAS money grabbers in charge, when you were there, or if they have finally woken up and stopped robbing people, or been declared for not extorting enough money.

Glad you have added your contribution and well done for not joining staff !

Welcome home Harry.

Thanks for stepping up and out, Harry and WELCOME to the 'Bake! Good on ya', mate, for sharing your story. Post atcher ownest pace and ENJOY yer' freedom!!!! Ain't it great?????

Whoopideedooo!!!!!!

Suck it, $cientology!

Harry,

Your story parallels mine, in that you were public, and got away before you got out, your getting out was a gradual thing that came about as a result of getting away for a long enough time to begin enjoying your life again and thinking for yourself. I got away in late 81, was a long way towards getting out after early 82 when the mission I was with in Connecticut broke away from the Church, was 99% out after I started smoking weed again in 83, but wasn't fully 100% out until 89 when I read "Barefaced Messiah" by Russell Miller and "LRH: Messiah or Madman?" by Bent Corydon, both available now free on the web as text files or Microsoft Word files. I don't know which one was worse ... redge cycles or so-called "objectives". They both sucked.

BTW ... an idea for someone who really wants out but gets "the visit" from 4 or so staffers who want to lay on a recruiting pitch. Invite them in, and, while they are pitching, start rolling a joint in front of them, right on the table. Fire it up, take a good toke, and attempt to pass it to them.

If you are one of those folk who simply will not take a toke ... buy a copy of High Times magazine, go thru the advertisements, you will find outfits that sell herbal substances that LOOK AND SMELL almost exactly like marijuana. Just act the part, going thru all the antics of rolling and smoking ... hold it in for awhile, caugh, inhale the slip stream smoke thru your nose, exclaim "GOOD SHIT!" while you exhale, and offer to pass it to the next available staffer. If that doesn't work, start talking about alien encounters and how you zapped some Reticulans with a mental push-pull headache beam, and start giving them a somewhat altered, stoned sounding version of the Xenu material. I suspect that you will be left alone after that, as they scurry back and write their KR's.

Pete


Pete