I've been lurking for a while now and decided I should at the very least, say hello and add my support to the current situation.
Can't say I have any experience of big stuff like Int, DM, disconnection, declared, harassed etc but I was a public scn-ist for quite a few years trying to crawl my way up the bridge and saw an awful lot of misery, manipulation, threats, blatent lying and very immoral behaviour from staff and other public that leaves me in no doubt this is an organisation that is set up right from the beginning to be deceitful, manipulative and have total disregard for any law of any land it finds itself in. Such is a totalitarian movement.
I was initially snared by the help-yourself hook of dianetics, took some courses, quite cheap (of course), then went onto the comm course. The people all seemed genuinely nice and sincere and became interested in the general idea of improving mankind and myself. So I became interested in the levels - sold to me as the "new" technology - dianetics being outdated.
It was here that the religion angle was started to be pushed. Many reg cycles and "breifings" (ker-ching!) kept pushing this and I went for it in a buddhist know-thyself manner, ie: it was a philisophy and you lived your life by it and that was all cool, very much like buddhism in which I had had an interest.
Then this stupid sunday service c*£p started and the doubts started to kick in.
I didnt really say anything about it. How could I? Everyone was just sooo nice and trustworthy. I also hadn't got too far up the bridge so I figured that my viewpoint would change on this aspect. The tech had so far been fun and the absurdities of xenu etc were unknown to me (of course).
Later on, of course, I got all the b*(!&%ks about getting stuck and how it was all somehow my fault, pts, out-ethics whatever.
This equalled more money of course. So far I could afford to pay it but then I had some majorly heavy regging done to get me to ias patron. I felt on cloud 9 for about a week as everyone in the org showed me respect and thanking me and I even got to shake Heber's hand - wow!
A week later I was a nobody again. I thought it would get me at least some respite from being regged, but no, I was now someone who was "responsible", "standing up to suppression", "upstat" yadayada.
So now I'm at the point probably all scns get to - scn the philosophy/auditing seems OK, the levels, at least were fun (but not exactly mind-blowing as advertised), but the people are just too zealous and complete bastards.
Every step I kept telling myself "just this payment, then I can take it easy and pay off my debts, just this one next thing". It didnt happen of course. I was broke, nearly lost my job, lost touch with family and friends,
and the squeeze still kept coming. More money for auditing to fix up problems _I_ had caused. More money to get me to the next IAS level. More breifings. More requests for my time whether for study or helping round the org. And more pressure to join staff, finally culminating in the IAS event where DM mentions "the S word" right at the end when pushing for staff. The 3 or 4 weeks after this my life was a living hell. Almost every break time and lunchtime being talked to by a variety of staff members trying to soften me up, trying to find the one thing that would make me join staff.
Then one day after another weekend studying I was called into a room. There waiting for me were 4 staff members.
All placed themselves between me and the door. They meant business. They were after a product. I then wasted the next 2 hours of my life telling them what I had already told them a million times before. I didn't want to join staff.
Why didn't I want to join staff? I guess I just didn't want my entire day being controlled by someone I couldn't respect. I didn't use those words, but almost. Also, I still had a day job and was still in touch with the real world. Guess I never really bought into it all with enough zeal ...
I got away after midnight and I had had enough. I was close to tears. I decided to stay away from the org for a bit. Not permanently, just time to give myself some breathing space. I knew I would be out-ethics blowing but at that moment I coudn't give a damn. I couldn't face going back. I couldn't face distorting my own worldview to somehow "agree" that what they did to me was ok. In there perverted view they were in-ethics, doing the right thing, would never admit otherwise, and would never apologise.
Apologising, I realised was something the church could never do. Either as a group, an org or as an individual. Not difficult to see why, of course. It was in Green on white (policy letter).
Not once in nearly 10 years of being a div 4 public did I get one admitance that I had been badly treated. If I ever had a complaint I would be sent to ethics, write up my overts/withholds (crimes) and do the conditions and too many times I would come out the other end "agreeing" that it actually _was_ my fault all along. And it is for this that I probably hate them the most (I'm fuming as it I type as it all comes back to me). There are many threads about brainwashing on ocmb and I think the ethics conditions and writing up OWs is probably the most insidious and evil part to it. Hubbard might have designed them with good intent (debatable, I know) but this is how they are used today and have been for most of their existence.
So time went by, I was at home, I had free time again. I wasn't studying and I wasn't hangng about the org listening to all the usual crap. The Ethics Officer called round a few times to try and recover me but I consistently and firmly kept telling him I was taking time out and I won't be back for a while. In the back of my mind was the rapidly forming idea of not going back at all. Still difficult a concept to deal with intellectually and emotionally as I still hankered after the bridge to total b*%&&()%s.
I dreaded the knock on the front door or the phone ringing in case it was the EO, but as more and more time went by I grew in confidence, aided by the fact that I didn't live nearby. Eventually I heard that he had routed out of the SO, got a wog job and the new Reg just wasnt as good/forceful/"on-purpose"/unreasonable enough because I never heard from the org again. I have no idea if they ever did try to get in touch again because I moved away from the area.
So here I am 3 years later, happy, life back on track and probably know alot more about the COS than my Ethics Officer does. How ironic is that? For years I looked up to him and the staff as shining examples of self-sacrifice and altruism but now realise they have all been duped. I feel sorry for them all being caught up in the mind-grinder that is Hub's legacy. They are all spiritual cannon-fodder.
So my message to you all who have been vocal critics is keep it up. Consider this an ACK. Or more likely a half-ack
I still am nervous about revealing my identity but at last thanks to Anonymous I can get down to London org and make myself heard. An incredibly difficult thing to do but a huge step forward in undoing the damage to my psyche.
Thank you all. Especially ocmb for all the information on this site and the critics for their public criticism. Watching Tory's videos was just an incredibly emotional thing for me. And Go Anonymous!
I'll chip in when I can.