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I saw Vanella over the years, had a soft spot for her. In Int Training Org when it was back at the Flag Land Base, and being shut down in late 1982, since LRH sent an advice to ED Int that ED Int needed to have a training setup nearby Exec Strata to make execs for the churches, ITO at the FLB, which was a bombshelled disaster after the 1981-82 OEC/FEBC evolution, ITO was tanked (disbanded). Me and my best friend Chuck McDougal, were the sole remaining OEC FEBC personnel, and we had few straggling last OEC FEBC students. Me and Chuck shipped what was left of the OEC FEBC course to LA, and Vanella was D/ED Int Internal, and was in telex comm with me on the disbanding of the OEC FEBC course. She was a thoughtful exec, maybe a bit of a sidekick/spouse to ED Int, but I got on fine with her, as I did with most everyone in my 27 years in the Sea Org. Then, when I was finally finally busted for my last time, my fatal final 7 years in the Sea Org, I went to the Int RPF, in Jul 96, and Vanella was on the Int RPF. She altogether must have been on the RPF for about 7-8 years. She had a rough go on the Int RPF, prima dona in her unique Italian/Euro way. Her dad was or still is a bigtime lawyer and her dad and Frank Frau's dad used to be buddies, Frank's dad, now dead, was a judge in Breschia. Frank's family is from Sardinia and they moved to Breschia on the mainland, and met the Secchi family there, Frank and Vanella have known each other since before they were in Scientology. Vanella I think went through her divorce to ED Int while she was on the Int RPF, and at the very very very end, when I left the Int RPF, she was having a rough time, wanting to leave, hating the control and losing control emotionally, yelling at people at times who told her to do things she did not want to do. The accumulated bureaucratic "agreed upon" self-enforced mental coercion and pressure people in the Sea Org agree to and self- inflict on themselves and others, is really what I hated most about my whole 27 years in Scientology. The agreements leading up to moments when you just cannot agree any longer, and feeling trapped, I so wish people coming out to describe their experiences exhaustively, and accurately, that is what needs to be told. Vanella had her serious share of moments when she did NOT agree with the rules, and she fought back in a variety of ways. I highly respected her for this, inside, in my mind. When people in the Sea Org act "badly" or "protest" or fight against the rules, I secretly always loved to see the blowups of people finally getting pissed off at all the goddman dumb little rules which a fellow Sea Org member would unwittingly try to enforce on the protesting Sea Org member, and there would be these comical blowups, and not so comical blowups. The goddamn smothering accumulation of petty rules, that just smother human desire to be free of all those damn rules and agreements sometimes. The RPF is a layered in deep recessed cavern and just simiply walking out is such not an option mentally to all the agreements one has been led to agree to over the years of being a "dedicated" Sea Org member. Anyways, Vanella, I totally sympathized with her, while other Int RPFers just sort of tolerated her eccentric outbursts. Frank many times was her ally. Maj Wheelis my later twin when I later went to the PAC RPF, Maj on the Int RPF spent some time helping calm and stay with Vanella during those moments on the Int RPF when she simply refused to follow any of the damn rules herself. As a sidenote, anyone wishing to phone me, and further discuss ANY aspect of ANYTHING I can tell you about my Sea Org experience, give yourself 30 minutes to an hour and call me on the weekends, any weekend, and I will tell anyone anything. Talking about this most frustrating of experience, which I watched others like Vanella go through, and which I myself predicted myself later going through, and I did later have to go through the whole protest phase, it is so frustrating. When you want to just get the hell out, and just break down the rules, in the midst of those you are there on the RPF with, your longtime friends, who are just standing by, doing their "duty" following the rules you yourself even agreed to, but in the spur of the moment desires to just shuck all the rules off, the mental battle to just get the hell out, it was frustrating to say the least. I was in the sort of "restricted to the ranch" category of the Int RPF, not being allowed to go into the "castle" which is the great huge building where the Int RPFers were doing their daily work duties. People in "bad" shape, or for some reason were not supposed to be seen at the Base, stayed at the ranch all the time. I was NEVER going to graduate and rise to Int Base status, once my RPF was done, so that is why I thought for base security reasons I was never let go work at the sets and props area. Also, I was so obsessed with my future dreams of just unloading, and writing about all my experiences like I am now, eventually, that I felt it best I not be allowed to go to the Int Base daily with the other RPFers at the Happy Valley ranch Int RPF, due to knowing I would inevitably just record mentally all I saw and write about it all someday, in complete violation of the self-instilled rules self-enforced due to L. Ron Hubbard's extensively accumulated "security" mindset that pervades ALL of the mindset at the Int Base. It all traces back to Hubbard's rules and policies, and people's bad reactions to those constritive rules. When some intelligent people write someday, I would place Vanella in the category of someone who I hope does write, to capture the unique subtlties and frustrations of how helpless one feels at trying to protest the rules. She is an extremely intelligent woman, and not doubt mumbles due to the ignorance of those around her unable to grasp her thoughts and rationale. That is completely my view. While I never graduated to mumbling stage, I have mentally played through endless scenarios that all ended me up "losing" to the boundries of L. Ron Hubbard's totalitarian rules and group agreed upon interpretations that others in decades past have recorded about their RPF experiences which are amongst the worst of the worst stories that come OUT of the Scientology "prison/gulag" Rehabilitation Project Forces that still exist, and still put people through these frustrating scenarios. Vanella should be judged on her mind, and my opinion is that those who failed to see her intellect, are at their own personal loss. What each of us accumulates which we consider our lives, I am very interested in hearing each person's views of their lives. I have found people's life stories are not easily dismissable. I encourage all persons to write and express their ideas and opinions. I hope Vanella tells her tale. It would be an excellent one. Then her good qualities will be apparant. She was so close to defecting so many times that I think now, inevitably, she is going to defect someday. I predict she will return to her upper middle class family, in Italy. Her daughters are in Italy I believe. I hope she and Frank get the opportunity to meet again, late in life, and do their story with an intelligent Italian author. "Our Lives in Scientology" or something. They are old-timers relatively speaking in the Italy field, and can tell the Italian story well.
_________________ Chuck Beatty 412-260-1170 Pittsburgh, USA, "Our bombastic lapidary style is good only for inflating dwarfs." Jean-Jacques Rousseau (from "Emile, or On Education")
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