What Would You Say to a Lurking Scientologist?

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Re: What Would You Say to a Lurking Scientologist?

Postby Demented Founder » Tue Feb 21, 2017 2:27 pm

"What is the most amazing thing that you discovered about your Scientology clients?" I said.

"Actually, two things, although I wouldn't call them amazing, they are rather pathetic. By praising Scientology you can sell almost anything to them. If you sign anything with the words "L. Ron Hubbard", they will think of it as being true without questioning it," said Bob.

"Did you use the signature "L. Ron Hubbard" to sell anything to them?" I said.

"Of course. I wanted to make them happy by selling them a new book about Dianetics loaded with the material not covered in the Bridge courses. I found about 50 HCOBs and Policy Letters not included in the Bridge courses. But that wasn't enough, so I got plenty of additional data from FreeZone and other squirrel websites, and put it into my book. Squirrel Tech, if you will. The book was a success, they didn't realize that much of the data was invalid. But you are not allowed to invalidate LRH," said Bob.
"Cuando el pene de Xenu es adentro de mi culo, estoy inmenso feliz. Eso es manera de que Saentologia funciona. Voy a chingar todos mis aprentizes"
L. Ron Hubbard, Mi Vida Secreta.

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Re: What Would You Say to a Lurking Scientologist?

Postby Demented Founder » Mon Feb 27, 2017 2:25 pm

"How different is Squirrel Tech from Hubbard's Dianetics?" I said

"Some, although not all, splinter Scientology groups discarded the rule "Do not judge your PC". Rather than throwing it away completely, I doctored 7 Policy Letters and 33 HCOBs saying that occasionally this rule should not be followed, especially when a PC is talking nonsense.
Hubbard wrote that Dianetcs auditing should stop after a PC reaches the level of Clear. But some splinter groups recommend the erasure of past lives engrams. I produced about 20 HCOBs recommending the past lives Dianetics auditing of a PC if he has money to pay for the service, " said Bob

"Actually, Jenna Miscavige wrote in her book that she received past lives auditing even though she was a Clear," I said

"Very interesting. It seems that this type of auditing may not be a Squirrel Tech after all," said Bob.

"When I was a Scientologist, I attended several Scientology seminars; at one of them the speaker said that there is nothing wrong with the past lives Dianetics auditing. He was a Class VIII auditor, you know, " I said.
"Cuando el pene de Xenu es adentro de mi culo, estoy inmenso feliz. Eso es manera de que Saentologia funciona. Voy a chingar todos mis aprentizes"
L. Ron Hubbard, Mi Vida Secreta.

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Re: What Would You Say to a Lurking Scientologist?

Postby Demented Founder » Mon Mar 06, 2017 2:29 pm

"Tell me more about the Squirrel Tech, I assume there is more than one," I said

"There is a half of dozen of them. The squirrels say that they have determined verbal content of many engrams. For example, the phrase "you're crazy" makes person go insane. I combined their engramic contents with the ones that I invented and got plenty of data for my book," said Bob

"What about of creation of perfect duplicates of the engrams?" I said

"That too. Hubbard's procedures of creation of perfect duplicates of objects are impossible to understand. The Squirrel Techs creators came up with their own procedures of production of prefect duplicates; I included their procedures into my book," said Bob

"How big is your book?" I said

"It has about 75,000 words," said Bob
"Cuando el pene de Xenu es adentro de mi culo, estoy inmenso feliz. Eso es manera de que Saentologia funciona. Voy a chingar todos mis aprentizes"
L. Ron Hubbard, Mi Vida Secreta.

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Re: What Would You Say to a Lurking Scientologist?

Postby Demented Founder » Mon Mar 13, 2017 1:28 pm

"Did you try to publish Hubbard's screenplay, Revolt in the Stars?" I said

"Yes. I found a right person, but he couldn't deliver a copy of the manuscript to me," said Bob

"How much did you offer him?" I said

"500 bucks. For a hungry Sea Org member this is huge money. However, for the same price he got me Excalibur," said Bob.

"Did you publish it?" I said

"No," said Bob

"Why?' I said

What do you know about the Excalibur?" said Bob

"It's Hubbard's version of the evolutionary theory and its social implications," I said

"Exactly. The book is extremely boring, Hubbard just paraphrased a school textbook on biology and added even more boring material based on two outdated social theories," said Bob

"The Scientologists would have bought the book from you," I said

"Yes, they would have. But the book would have disappointed them. You don't want to have a disappointed customer who won't buy the next item from you," said Bob

"Those marketing courses are really helpful, " I said

"You're damn right about that," said Bob
"Cuando el pene de Xenu es adentro de mi culo, estoy inmenso feliz. Eso es manera de que Saentologia funciona. Voy a chingar todos mis aprentizes"
L. Ron Hubbard, Mi Vida Secreta.

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Re: What Would You Say to a Lurking Scientologist?

Postby Demented Founder » Mon Mar 20, 2017 2:03 pm

"Do you know the story of Hubbard's book, Excalibur? I said

"The old fool tried to sell it to several mainstream publishers, but none of them expressed any interest in this shit," said Bob.

"Why did he invent the story of him being close to death and uncovering the secrets of the universe, and after that writing Excalibur? This is not a good marketing strategy, " I said

"This strategy wouldn't sit well with major publishing houses, and he didn't use it to get their attention. After series of rejections he tried to get so called non-traditional publishers' interest in his piece of shit. This is the sole reason for inventing this "near death" nonsense, " said Bob

"What kind of publishers are they?" I said

"They specialize in the UFO crap, stupid conspiracy theories, and so on. This kind of LRH marketing might have worked for them if the book were interesting. But it was so damn boring that they saw no value in it, " said Bob
"Cuando el pene de Xenu es adentro de mi culo, estoy inmenso feliz. Eso es manera de que Saentologia funciona. Voy a chingar todos mis aprentizes"
L. Ron Hubbard, Mi Vida Secreta.

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Re: What Would You Say to a Lurking Scientologist?

Postby Wieber » Mon Mar 20, 2017 10:21 pm

From what I have read of Excalibur, written by Hubbard, it should be in the Guinness Book of World Records for having the world's most anticlimactic conclusion.
“Think wrongly if you please, but in all cases think for yourself.”
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What Would You Say to a Lurking Scientologist

Postby SvetaMlef » Mon Mar 27, 2017 12:44 pm

What does it say about this organization, this so called church . . . of scientology, that it cannot deal with the extremely bad public relations PR situation by using the technology that L. Ron Hubbard developed for that purpose, but that it must go to a non Scientology entity that does not use the technology developed by L. Ron Hubbard?

To me it says, loudly and clearly, this technology that L. Ron Hubbard developed is just so much horse shit.

I still maintain that anyone who had any benefit from Scientology did so because of what they brought to it, not because of what Hubbard put in it.
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Re: What Would You Say to a Lurking Scientologist?

Postby Demented Founder » Wed Mar 29, 2017 1:18 pm

In your opinion, what was the reason behind the writing of The Excalibur?" I said

"Hubbard wanted to base auditing on that book. I have copies of his letters to his second wife, Sara, with his dreams of a new era in the history of mankind. He desperately needed to put The Excalibur on the NY Times bestseller list. However, it was not meant to be," said Bob

"Why did he chose the topic of evolution? I mean, there were tons of books on the evolutionary theory, the competition was enormous, " I said

"He thought it was a safe bet because the evolution was a hot topic. But the bonehead was no scientist, he overestimated his knowledge of the topic, " said Bob

"Did he try any other topic before the Dianetics book?" I said

"There were rumors that he wrote a book on revised psychoanalysis, but I do not know for sure if they are true." said Bob
"Cuando el pene de Xenu es adentro de mi culo, estoy inmenso feliz. Eso es manera de que Saentologia funciona. Voy a chingar todos mis aprentizes"
L. Ron Hubbard, Mi Vida Secreta.

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Re: What Would You Say to a Lurking Scientologist?

Postby Demented Founder » Mon Apr 03, 2017 1:25 pm

"I saw excerpts from Revolt in the Stars. The story seems OK to me, Hubbard excluded the theta shit from it. Why no one was interested in Hubbard's screenplay?" I said

"You're right, the story is not bad at all. But Hubbard made a huge mistake -- he should have written a book instead of producing a screenplay. This was his first screenplay, and Hollywood do not like first screenplays -- there is no guarantee that an unknown screenplay writer will hit a jackpot. But having a bestseller is quite different -- all Hollywood studios are eager to buy a screenplay based on a bestseller," said Bob

"After failing to sell his screenplay Hubbard could have tried to publish s book based on it. However, he didn't make an attempt to write a book. Why?" I said

"Most likely, he was bitterly disappointed after several rejections. He didn't know the rules of the game because this was a new field to him. He gave up completely. " said Bob
"Cuando el pene de Xenu es adentro de mi culo, estoy inmenso feliz. Eso es manera de que Saentologia funciona. Voy a chingar todos mis aprentizes"
L. Ron Hubbard, Mi Vida Secreta.

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Re: What Would You Say to a Lurking Scientologist?

Postby Wieber » Mon Apr 03, 2017 6:38 pm

The best thing I got from Scientology was the information I gained from reading the books Scientology didn't want me to read and getting deprogrammed after I left the cult.
“Think wrongly if you please, but in all cases think for yourself.”
Doris Lessing

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Re: What Would You Say to a Lurking Scientologist?

Postby Demented Founder » Mon Apr 10, 2017 1:20 pm

Wieber wrote:From what I have read of Excalibur, written by Hubbard, it should be in the Guinness Book of World Records for having the world's most anticlimactic conclusion.

It is an interesting observation. It seems to me that Hubbard didn't know how to end a book on the theory of evolution with a captivating story. In all fairness, he is not all alone -- all books on the evolutionary theory are quite boring.
"Cuando el pene de Xenu es adentro de mi culo, estoy inmenso feliz. Eso es manera de que Saentologia funciona. Voy a chingar todos mis aprentizes"
L. Ron Hubbard, Mi Vida Secreta.

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Re: What Would You Say to a Lurking Scientologist?

Postby Demented Founder » Mon Apr 10, 2017 1:28 pm

"Hubbard's interest in black magic is well-known. What do you think of it?" I said

"I had big plans: I thought I could sell his books or articles on black magic to general public. Scientologists do not believe in magic, you know, " said Bob

"Did you get Hubbard data on magic?" I said

"For the price of $100 I got plenty of it," said Bob

"From the same source?" I said

"Yes. But the data is of no use. I am not an expert on magic, so I took the data to my historian cousin. He said that this stuff is nothing new, it has been around for centuries. Publishing a Hubbard book on black or white magic would be a bust," said Bob
"Cuando el pene de Xenu es adentro de mi culo, estoy inmenso feliz. Eso es manera de que Saentologia funciona. Voy a chingar todos mis aprentizes"
L. Ron Hubbard, Mi Vida Secreta.

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Re: What Would You Say to a Lurking Scientologist?

Postby Demented Founder » Tue Apr 18, 2017 1:21 pm

"What about LRH sci-fi books? Did anyone like them?" I said

"Romney's favorite book is Battlefield Earth. But, other than the failed Presidential candidate, no one is interested in the novel. The sales were very poor. Volume I of Mission Earth was not a bestseller, although it came close to being one. But the other volumes were impossible to read and sell, Bridge Publications lost plenty of money after publishing them," said Bob.

"Other than Scientology books, did Hubbard write nonfiction books?" I said

"As far as I know, he wrote none, although the Scientologists believe otherwise," said Bob
"Cuando el pene de Xenu es adentro de mi culo, estoy inmenso feliz. Eso es manera de que Saentologia funciona. Voy a chingar todos mis aprentizes"
L. Ron Hubbard, Mi Vida Secreta.

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Re: What Would You Say to a Lurking Scientologist?

Postby Demented Founder » Mon Apr 24, 2017 1:18 pm

"What about copies of LRH paintings? Did you try to sell them? They look crappy to me, but some art lovers might like them," I said

"My aunt liked them. Then again, she's legally blind," said Bob. We both burst into laughter.

"I took copies of them to my friend, he's an art dealer. He said that they are not worth a penny, Hubbard was drunk when he produced them," said Bob

"Yes, I don't think that even Scientologists would like them, " I said.
"Cuando el pene de Xenu es adentro de mi culo, estoy inmenso feliz. Eso es manera de que Saentologia funciona. Voy a chingar todos mis aprentizes"
L. Ron Hubbard, Mi Vida Secreta.

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Re: What Would You Say to a Lurking Scientologist?

Postby Demented Founder » Mon May 08, 2017 1:32 pm

"What about LRH poems? An official CoS website says that he was an accomplished poet," I said

"Maybe, he was. But poetry doesn't sell well, very few understand it, so I didn't look for his poems," said Bob

"What about LRH songs?" I said

"I heard four songs by him. Scientologists would love the lyrics. But the music is horrendous, " said Bob.

"Are you saying that the Founder was a bad composer?" I said

"No. Another idiot, Corea, composed the music. The music is poor even for the LRH-loving Scientologists," said Bob
"Cuando el pene de Xenu es adentro de mi culo, estoy inmenso feliz. Eso es manera de que Saentologia funciona. Voy a chingar todos mis aprentizes"
L. Ron Hubbard, Mi Vida Secreta.


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