Xenu was a noble Intergalactic Emperor who ruled the Marcab Confederacy.
Tall (6’10’’) and brutally handsome, he was loved by his subjects. He was known for his acceptance of the democracy -- he turned the Marcab Monarchy into the Marcab Constitutional Monarchy similar in structure to the British Monarchy. Xenu also was one of the greatest Marcab scientists, whose area of research was genetics. Currently the procedure known as “Xenu elevation” is used to create the race of immortals. Xenu is immortal, just like all his former subjects. He resigned from the throne in order to continue his scientific research, this time in astrophysics.
In one of his past lives L. Ron Hubbard was a Marcab citizen whose name at that time was Rawl. Rawl-LRH was the head of a drug cartel; he was also using slave labor to produce the drugs and distribute them. Rawl-LRH used to torture some of his associates just for fun after declaring them SP (super-pariah). He was using the torture to intimidate the cartel members and eliminate even the remotest possibility of a revolt against him.
Ignoble Rawl-LRH wanted to overthrow Xenu and grab the throne. To do that he begun building the army of Ron-droids. Apparently, he wanted to call them androids. But, being a semi-literate college dropout, he had a very poor command of the Marcab language, so instead of the word “android” he was using a coined word “Ron-droid”.
The Rawl-LRH associates were abducting Marcab citizens and bringing them to Earth where they were thrown into the volcanoes. Their souls were captured and transported to the implant stations where they were hypnotized and impregnated with horrific implants, including the infamous Reverend 6 (R6). R6 was used to promote the idea of Rawl-LRH being God.
The Xenu army were completely unprepared when the Ron-droids came out of nowhere and begun capturing planet after planet. Rawl-LRH was close to his goal of capturing the throne.
Luckily for Xenu and the good citizens of Marcab Confederacy, the SPs have defected and chose Xenu as their leader. The Rawl-LRH implant plan had a fatal flaw, and the SPs knew about it.
The Ron-droids were built after Rawl-LRH, which included his uncontrollable desire to masturbate. They could not go on for more that 4 days without masturbating. In the beginning of the war this did not matter because the battles lasted for less than 3 days. But now the secret was out. The Xenu forces were able to sustain the battles for more than 4 days.
On day 4 of a battle the Ron-droids would stop fighting and begun masturbating nonstop until complete exhaustion. The Rawl-LRH army, which was called Sea Org, was in a full disarray. Sea Org was falling apart, but Rawl-LRH could do nothing about it.
Rawl-LRH ‘s top general was Davy Miscarriage, whose nickname was PTS (potent technology source). After losing the last battle Rawl-LRH and PTS were using one of a few remaining Sea Org spaceships for a panicky retreat. Neither one of them knew how to fly a spaceship.
A Xeny starship was in a hot pursuit of the Rawl-LRH spaceship. One of the Rawl-LRH’s pilots was severely wounded, the other one was OK, his name was Campbell. It was day 4 of the escape. All of sudden Campbell took his penis out and begun masturbating. PTS rushed to the dashboard and tried to navigate the spaceship. But, being a complete idiot, he could not do that.
The Rawl-LRH spaceship crashed on a remote planet. Rawl-LRH and PTS were captured and brought to justice. After a prolonged trial Rawl-LRH was electrocuted. His soul returned to earth where it acquired control of a new body. But that was not a human body, Rawl-LRH became a clam! Later his soul entered a new body, and he became the entity known as L. Ron Hubbard.
“This OT shit is driving me insane. On a positive side, I laugh a lot these days because I’m at a funny farm.”
L. Ron Hubbard
No soy marinero, soy capitan del culto de mi padre.