Post
by duhast1 » Sat Jan 27, 2018 4:02 pm
The first thing that pops into my mind (though it is probable I wouldn't think it if all this crap was happening to me) is to terrorize the terrorists, enturbulate the enturbulators.
And even though this is going to sound extremely bizarre, I think I would have started by taking my clothes off. You're in your home, not in public, you can do whatever you damn well please.
Quickly develop a case of jock itch and constantly scratch your balls. If you sit on the sofa or a chair, use lots of 'man spread' (you know, the way men sit, knees NOT together). Do a 'Fat Bastard (from Austin Powers) routine, rubbing your nipples and muttering "I'm dead sexy..." to Lady Lemon Biter.
And I think this is the payoff. There is no UNSEE button. You are now inside their heads in perpetuity. From that time forward, every time they hear your name, see your picture, or think about you, there you are, inside their head, scratching yourself.
I'd call that a BIG win....
I'm worth a million in prizes.