I was reading another post of yours and you quoted Elvis, "$cientology is all head and no heart." That actually, was my final "cognition" before leaving. I poured my heart out into my job, and I was recieving any dividends.
Towards the end of my $ea Org career, I remember I went on the roof of the particular org I was at, and I would smoke cigarettes and look out over the city of LA. It was my little hiding spot where I could go and reflect on my experiences.
I still haven't told 90% of my story. I haven't said which org, my post, what I did, who I met, who my friends were. Basically, I left off all the important details because knew before I started posting about Fair Game.
But, it pains me to know that people are suffering at the hand of L. Ron Hubbard and David Miscavige. These 2 men have done a disservice to the people of our planet. They are responsibe for distracting people from the really important aspects of life--family and friends, mostly.
It is my hope that we'll be around when Douche Miscavige gets carted off to prison, and you, me, and everyone who's suffered will see justice, and that "gritty" feeling goes away.
From what I've noticed, almost all the people who have left $cientology and the Sea Org have in common the feelings that they were used and under appreciated wether it be for all the money that they poured into it or for their dedicated service - in some cases millions, and in other cases years of their lives.
How many $cietologists today fear walking by the Registrars office? Most $cientologists are given the impression that the Reg only cares about your spiritual freedom and progress up the Bridge rather than about the money in your bank account. The fact is, the Reg's statistic is Gross Income. If your spiritual freedom and Bridge progress was more important, don't you think the registrar's stats would be different and reflect that rather than GI?
How many $cientologists are still "gang bang" regged, until they can figure out where to get the money for their next service, wether it be from borrowing the money from someone or selling off something valuable? This happens ALL the time.
When you're a broke $cientologist, you're treated like the scum of the earth. When they know you don't have ANY money and can't afford your next service, you're shoved out of the way and they move on to the next person with the dollars. The biggest crime as a public $cientologist is having no money. And it doesn't matter how much money you've already given them, when you run out of it, you're a downstat dog.
Same goes with staff and Sea Org service, doesn't matter how many years you've put into it or how many VFPs (valuable final products) you've produced over the years. If your stats are down, or your section's, division's or org's stats are down, you are scum! In fact, MOST of the time, you are simply just scum. You are made to feel like you haven't contributed enough and you must keep contributing. The carrot is dangled in front of your face the entire time to keep you going. The carrot is labeled "Total Freedom" weather you're public, staff or SO. It's at the top of the Bridge for everyone.
Most SO members have set asside the idea of actually going OT this lifetime because for one, they already consider themselves to be OTs just by being in the SO and two, they have this idea that the SO will take care of it for them at some point when they have the facilities and resouces to do it and the planet is in better shape. As an SO member, you have no case. Case on post is a crime.
So how about these people who after 10, 20 or more years of dedicated service to the SO and $cientology get offloaded or declared SP? How about that? How are they supposed to feel about it?
How about the public $cientologist who has been a very valuable contributing member for $cientology for years and years and all they get is praise when they shell out some money or bring a new person in and then get treated like scum when they can't afford it anymore? It happens all the time.
Tom Cruise is considered to be the most senior $cientologist other than DM. WHY? What about all of those POWER FSMs who have to bring in 1,000 new people in a year for that status. Nope, give it up for TC because a) He's a huge celebrity, and b) he's got TONS of money and has probably given $cientology boat loads. MONEY is what $cientology is all about. All about how much money YOU have and how much you can GIVE them.
This is why every songle person that leaves feels like they've been used, because they literally have been.