I sister once told a scientologist about me, told him that I was skeptical of the church and whatnot, he said "Thats ok, those are the people that make the best scientologists when they figure it out." My sister told me that a long while ago. Scary, sad, and true.
I hope all gos well for you virginia. Don't worry, be happy, as hard as it may be. Theres light at the end of the dark tunnel. Enjoy life for it is short, theres plenty of time to be dead.
I don't have it as bad as you so I can't really understand or know, but I do know the evils of scientology and together we can stand and expose them. Take care now, love and best wishes, AJE-