Dear Toney.............Dear Neil...............
Hey hey................so you had a very bad day, and maybe a very bad life. I'm sorry you did, I really am. But guess what?
DON'T KILL YOURSELF!
It isn't final. It isn't a "Solution". All it does is temporarily end what is a long chain of crap. However, I do believe more will come......one way, or the other.
What if this is just a test for Neil? Can he dig out, or not? If so.......
all that you've ever dreamed of will be there for you. I know, you cannot see it now..........you're IN IT. But what IF it is literally right around the corner? More than you've ever wanted or hoped for.
All that you've dreamed of, and much, much more? What if? And on the opposite...what if there IS KARMA>>>>>>>>>>>and you taking your own life will just bring you back, only next time your life will be far worse?
I can hear from you, at this point you cannot think of 'worse'....I understand. I promise you, there IS worse...and you and only you can turn this around.
Your taking your life isn't a solution, for you or the many around you that will be harmed for life due to it. It's a chicken shit escape that doesn't take you to a blank place, certainly not a better place.
Once you do it, it's done. YOU have changed the fate of your life, and that of many others..........and not in a good way, at all.
You need help, man. REAL help. The same as you say people can *try* suicide many times before it works? The same is true of therapy.
Have you tried it enough? Obviously not. Please visit someone you trust and love, and let them help you.
You are in my prayers, thoughts, and I have a candle lit for you.
I love you............I really do. I am sending you hope, peace, forgiveness. Forgive yourself. It's OK.
Keep the faith..........be strong......it's not your time. Walk through the pain, into the light. Find it...........it's right here:__________________