One opened, more to come!
It is currently Thu Apr 17, 2014 10:24 pm

All times are UTC + 1 hour




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 69 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next
Author Message
 Post subject: My story is probably not unique..but I wanted to share too.
PostPosted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 8:07 pm 
Offline

Joined: Wed Mar 22, 2006 12:28 am
Posts: 219
First off, let me say that I am grateful that I get to share my story here. When I have shared my story with other people who have no knowledge of Scientology - it is more about teaching them Scientologyspeak and concepts, which gets tiring all by itself. However here, I can launch right in and know that at least a few of you will relate.

My parents got involved in Scientolgy when I was two and my sister was four (1972). We lived life under the tenets of the church - no doctors or medications, a general fear and loathing of anything that smacked of psycho-babble, an elitist attitute that we lorded over wogs. In general, we led a lives limited to involvement with others in Scientololgy. My father owned his own business - and he hired only other Scientologists. (I did go to public school, so there were other influences at work on me - I never thought I would say this but - THANK GOODNESS for typical peer pressure. :D )

I believe that my Dad was one of the first groups of people to reach OT III. After completion, he did a little speaking at different orgs and we would go and watch. I think my mother was Clear at that time and just starting on the OT levels. My sister and I were still only doing elementary reading, Training Routines, Auditing, etc.

My parents divorced when I was 11 – they both had affairs with other Scientologists that worked in my Dad's office. As a kid I was afraid of my father's temper, so when they divocred, I "secretly" told my Mom that I wanted to live with her. What happened was my sister and I split our time between the two houses. Dad remarried when I was 12, my Mom the next year (on her lunch hour without telling anyone). Everyone was still in Scientology and still working together at my fathers firm. When I was 12/13/14 I, my sister, and my stepsisters were enrolled in the HQS course and spent two summer vacations at the org. We would get dropped off in the AM and picked up after my parents were done with work.

I have many recollections of those two summers- and many of them have to do with the amount of work we did around the org. We seemed to spend part of the day on course work and the rest helping answer phones, cleaning, filing, etc. My most vivid memories of the coursework was the TR's - that damn ashtray NEVER moved, not even an inch. :lol: After two summers, we all passed and this is also when the shit hit the fan at home.

Dad started to pull away from Scientology (partly from some of the things that went on during our coursework and partly because some of his friends were getting declared for critical discussions about the higher levels) Mom lost her shit. She got the other people in my Dad’s office to quit on the same day and then they collectively sued him. They lost but my father almost declared bankruptcy. During this time, my Mom also said she had gotten to a point in her coursework where she realized that she never really wanted to have kids and if she had it to do over she would have had abortions. She said she was tired of the Mother Hat and we are all just going to be friends now.

As my Dad pulled further away from the Church, my Mom got more zealous (her husband, my stepfather, was an Ethics Officer). One day the church called my Dad to ask for a meeting, saying it was for the benefit of my sister and me. He was then given my “private� file to read - in addition to the typical auditing and coursework notes, it was filled with anything "secret" I had shared with my mom over the divorce years. I was mortified and ridiculed on every front. Nevermind the fact that most of what was said was when I was 11/12/13 - the people who read my file (and who didn't) held my feet to the fire for everything in it. Things became clear - no wonder my step-father never talked to me, I was not impressed with his inability to hold a job and by the fact that he sponged off my Mom...no wonder my Dad's feelings were so hurt that he had a hard time being in the same room with me for many years after...no wonder my stepmom felt alienated since I was resentful of how she was trying to force me to act as if she was my real Mom..(you get the idea)

Well, shortly thereafter, my Dad was declared. Mom tells me and my sister (who was almost out of high school at this point) that we absolutely must disconnect from Dad – she has the church contact us when we are at her house to pressure us. My stepfather and Mom pressure us. My sister finally has enough and stops coming to my Mom’s house – I still go every other week. Finally, Dad has lawyers write a letter that instructs the church to leave us alone. By now I am 16 – Mom decides that she cannot have contact with us anymore since she must disconnect in every way from my father - so she moves to Los Angeles. I then lived with my Dad and Stepmom full time, and I must admit, I was waiting for the inevitable Armageddon that was sure to come since I was now living with an SP. I am happy to report...the fear faded. It was replaced by tears, then anger, then an incredible amount of cynicism.

I visited my Mom maybe five times over the next 12 or so years, usually I was in CA for some reason or other and asked if I could see her. Then she contacted me when I was 28; she was doing more coursework and said she needed to know how I felt about Scientology. I blasted her and that damn religion. Shortly after my sister and I received Xeroxed disconnection letters. I have not had any contact with her since.

I am now 36, married, with two amazing children, and a truly wonderful life that I never take for granted. Thanks for listening.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 8:20 pm 
Online

Joined: Mon Jul 25, 2005 6:20 am
Posts: 9290
Kins, it's likely that your mother got to a high enough level that she had to clarify every relationship with any possible PTS. So the call to you was to decide whether you could start rejoining CoS or whether you were decidedly "unenthused." I bet that even if you were "unenthused" and still connected to SP relatives, CoS would have forced your mother to completely disconnect. Now your mother is cut off from her grandchildren. CoS is so stupidly cruel. Congratulations to you for escaping this, and for the fact that your own children are safer now.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 8:32 pm 
Offline

Joined: Wed Mar 22, 2006 12:28 am
Posts: 219
Thanks Don Carlo, I do feel relief that I escaped when I did. It could have easily gone the other way had my mother not made it so plainly clear that she no longer wanted to be a mother.

There have been times when I have been upset at the absence of my mother in my life...and then I think of my children...and I want them to be exposed to NONE of this..EVER.

As a side note - my mother does not know I am married, or that I have children. However, my sister had her children before the disconnection, and there was never any attempt on our mother's part to acknowledge their existence. I think that hurt my sister probably more than anything she did to us as kids.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 9:28 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jan 18, 2004 10:37 am
Posts: 1074
Location: Denmark
Dear Kins

Thanks for sharing your story. I don't think there can be told too many stories. The more stories the more people will understand that they are true.

To me personally, hearing how it was to grow up in Scientology is fascinating as I met quite a few kids at the org. It is good to know that it is possible to get out for them too.

If you should want to talk to people with experiences similar to your check out http://cultinfobooks.com/infoserv_event ... events.htm . There are 2 workshops for ex-cult members who were born into or raised in cults. Smaller workshop will also be held the conference in Denver in June.

:) Sarah


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 10:20 pm 
Offline

Joined: Wed Mar 22, 2006 12:28 am
Posts: 219
Sarah, thank you - The idea of talking with others who were raised in a cult environment and investigating their process to "recover" does appeal to me. However, can you tell me a little bit about who backs the ICSA, who they are affiliated with, what their methodology is based on? Have you been through their workshops? Is this specifically geared toward ex-Scientologists?

I apologize if this sound paranoid and I am not intending to doubt the value of these workshops - but a heightened sense of cynicism seems to be a trait I developed out of necessity, and one that is hard to shake.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 11:23 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jan 18, 2004 10:37 am
Posts: 1074
Location: Denmark
In their own word ICSA is:

Quote:
The International Cultic Studies Association (ICSA) is an interdisciplinary network of academicians, professionals, former group members, and families who study and educate the public about social-psychological influence and control, authoritarianism, and zealotry in cultic groups, alternative movements, and other environments. Founded in 1979 as AFF (American Family Foundation), ICSA took on its current name in late 2004 to better reflect the organization's focus and increasingly international and scholarly dimensions.

ICSA, the leading professional organization concerned about cultic groups and psychological manipulation, is known for its professionalism and capacity to respond effectively to families, former and current group members, helping professionals, and scholars.

They are not geared toward any specific cult, but helps exmembers of many different cults at their workshops.
I went to the conference in Madrid last summer. You can download and read the Book of Abstracts from the conference at http://www.csj.org/infoserv_articles/al ... tracts.htm

There were people from all sorts of cults at the conference. Everything from Scientologists, Moonies, Transcendental Meditation ex-members (some of the workshops leaders such as Joseph Kelly are former TMs), Hare Krishna, Opus Dei, Falun Gong, Children of Good to smaller local cult with only a handfull of members.

There were also many parents of current cultmembers. Some of the well known people I met were Sally and Ed Lottick, parents of Noah Lottick

One of my favoritee "getting out of cults" books RECOVERY FROM CULTS
are by Michael D. Langone (ED of ICSA). He has been a great help to me through emails.

But look their website over yourself and decide whether to go or not. The Denver conference is probable the most open setting of the 3. There are at least 3 tracks of lectures at the same time - workshops, research lectures and other stuff (check the agenda at http://cultinfobooks.com/infoserv_event ... agenda.htm )

Meeting ex-members from other cults made me realize that it isn't so significant which cult one was in. A cult is a cult. And we can help each other no matter which cult we were in.

Sarah


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 12:24 am 
Offline

Joined: Thu Mar 25, 2004 4:02 pm
Posts: 8290
"Mom also said she had gotten to a point in her coursework
where she realized that she never really wanted to have kids
and if she had it to do over she would have had abortions. She
said she was tired of the Mother Hat and we are all just going to
be friends now."

What a great product of the tech!
The child hater Hubbard would be proud!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 12:40 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Thu Aug 19, 2004 7:02 pm
Posts: 166
Location: N.Y., United States
Kins welcome aboard. It seems none of our stories are unique that was the thing that helped me get out. I saw the things others went through and when I took their name out and place mine in that it was the same story. That is when I knew the lies they were telling me were lies after all, and it was not just me that these criminals were hurting. I thanks this message board every day for saving my life.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 12:40 am 
Offline

Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2006 1:19 am
Posts: 693
kins

I'm so sorry for what you went through, and, so glad for the wonderful life you've built for yourself.

Thank you for sharing your story


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 3:34 am 
Offline

Joined: Wed Nov 16, 2005 9:17 am
Posts: 963
Kins

Welcome to OCMB.

Thank you for posting your story.

Your story may not seem unique enough to you but from my point of view it is a uhique story.I found it very interesting and absorbing. The more people write about their experinces in scientology the more truth will come into the open.

I'm so glad you now have two wonderful children, enjoy each other.

Opter


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 3:34 am 
Offline

Joined: Wed Nov 16, 2005 9:17 am
Posts: 963
Kins

Welcome to OCMB.

Thank you for posting your story.

Your story may not seem unique enough to you but from my point of view it is a uhique story.I found it very interesting and absorbing. The more people write about their experinces in scientology the more truth will come into the open.

I'm so glad you now have two wonderful children, enjoy each other.

Opter


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 3:47 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Fri Jan 27, 2006 8:00 am
Posts: 207
Location: On the San Andreas Fault
Congratulations, Kins, for breaking the cycle!!! And thanks for sharing your story.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 3:50 am 
Offline

Joined: Sat Jan 07, 2006 7:21 pm
Posts: 1801
deb_thang. I'll be visiting Gold Studios this summer to deliver some KR's pesonally. Want to take pictures?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 4:56 am 
Offline

Joined: Thu Dec 08, 2005 6:58 am
Posts: 1587
Location: Shreveport, Louisiana
Wow Kins, I feel for what you've been through. Your life is such a perfect example of how Scientology destroys a family. You're in or you're out.

Scientology just can't stand the "light of day".

I have to believe one day soon your Mom will be calling you most likely crying and asking for your forgiveness. I know if and when that day comes, you will do the right thing and help her...and love her. I take that back, the "right thing" is whatever you feel is "right." It is only a testament to how strong Scientology's mental deception is that it can break a mother's bond with her Son. That is hard to do.

I'm very proud to know you.

I'm left with questions, ...minor ones. Is your father ok? Do you ever talk about his OT III experience with him, or is it a subject that is "buried" and not spoken of?

Thanks for sharing your experience, I appreciate it.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:06 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Sat Jan 24, 2004 8:00 pm
Posts: 11033
Location: Burbank, CA, USA
Kins..........

Phew! What an amazing story: Thank you VERY much for sharing it!

It's always terrific to hear stories like this and especially that you shared

how now you're doing so much better. This shall give great hope to many lurkers and newbies
who you may never here from....but I'm sure you've helped many more than you know.

Congratulations to you!!! :wink:

Frienly Nature...if you're coming out...let me know:
Summer time is party time here in LA, and
if you're going to Gold, why not come a bit farther and see the entire tour? :comehereyou:

Best to all, :wink:

Tory/Magoo~~ 8)


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 69 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next

All times are UTC + 1 hour


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group