"Emergency! IC, I say we have an emergency! I got an SP at A5D3 on the grid!" I yell into my walkie talkie to the Security IC for IB.
"Roger that," ICIB replies back as he runs into the Command Center where I am seated from a few doors down.
Trying to penetrate Int Base is impossible and SP's are easy to spot this time of day. I start up the imrec software just to make sure it is not Keith Henson. Oh man, I hope it is because he is so busted if he left Canada. We have the faces of all SP's in our imrec software. We are always ready to handle any of 'em.
There: a man in dark jacket leans over the hood of his car and is photographing Int Base with a telephoto lens. "Got him. 50 yards east of the west gate, just beneath monitor 5487. Seems to be a suspicious and may be armed, watch out," I say to ICIB. Nobody but a complete idiot would try to penetrate Int Base with a camera without realizing that we have cameras everywhere. Most likely this SP is fresh, stupid, flying high on drugs, or is a stooge sent here by the psychs to do a probe of Int Base security to check our response time. This could be a probing raid, a surveillance in depth, in preparation for the upcoming "Psych Raid" that COB RTC has been warning us about and for which we have drilled endlessly for years.
I toggle the joystick and zoom in on the SP's license plate. It is CA XXXXXXX. I print the screen and hand it to Max who is already dialing 911 to inform Hemet PD of a possible terrorist threat in progress. Max gives Hemet PD the plate number. This is good. Hopefully Hemet PD will scramble SWAT to protect the most valuable people in the most valuable group in this galaxy. The ICIB orders Base Security to ready the film and video cameras and to stand by at their bikes and golf carts until Hemet PD arrives. The bicycle riders give their bike helmets that extra tug just to make sure their helmets are on and they are ready for some fast bicycle action against the SP. The drivers rev the engines in their electric golf carts. They are ready to spring into action and throw a net of Scientology force fields around Int Base. Everyone is already zapping the SP with theta beams and rays and, quite frankly, I am surprised he has not died already with that much theta power being poured on him. He might be a Marcab and this may mean that the mass Marcab landing -- the Second Coming LRH called it -- is upon us. Crap! We have not cleared the planet yet or hit our goal of 10,000 people on Solo NOTS! We might not have enough thetan power and intention to repel and armed Marcab invasion!!!
ICIB punches the red button on his walkie talkie and Int Base goes into red alert and a total lockdown. All secure areas are locked down and all Red Box data is positioned at the high-speed crosscut shredders. All electronic locks are locked from the master console. No one except Security can open any door or even move at this point. The three designated "Eagles" start moving at high speed to the Eagle's Nest where there are two air pellet rifles at the ready. There are two shooters and one spotter. This is that serious: Photographing Int Base is a high crime in the Scientology religion because no one is supposed to know we exist. I don't even know Int Base exists. I am told that I am working at Golden Era Studios and that's all I can say.
ICIB calls COB RTC's assistant and informs her that Int Base is Code Red with an SP is taking photos. He gives her the plate verbally and then texts her with it. COB RTC gets on the phone with ICIB and asks him to describe the situation and to send him a photo of the perp. ICIB gives me the instruction to me and I hit "send" and a hi-def photo of the perp is sent to COB RTC's Palm. COB RTC happens to be in his office over near ASI getting fitted for a tiny ninja suit that he will wear at an upcoming event. We all know that COB RTC is very angry at us for pulling in an SP Code Red event during this special fitting by the Hollywood designer who did all of the Power Rangers outfits. I can feel his anger radiating all the way out here in Hemet.
I gotta tell you that I got keyed in immediately when COB RTC got on the phone to ICIB because it is my butt on the line now. I suddenly go into restim on the time when Johnny Morton attacked me and took my car from me when I was 19. I feel the pain of the assault, well, actually it was a nasty slap to the face, and of Johnny taking my car, well, it was really his car that I had borrowed and had crashed into a wall with because LRH had said that crashing cars into walls was only bad because there was a social agreement that crashing cars into walls. But still, I am in restim, my eyes are glazing over, and all of my TR's are out.
I am on the verge of evacuating my bowels in terror when the ICIB spots me in almost full blown restim. He suddenly slams his clipboard against my forehad. That "theta slap" sends me three feet behind my head and allows me to operate my post while exterior with full perceptions. ICIB quickly scribbles out a $3,000 bill for "Running an Emergency Exterorization" and paper-clips it to my shirt so that it will be there waiting for me when I got back into my body. ICIB then opens my mouth and pours in several chewable CalMag tablets from the First Aid kit. He moves my jaw up and down so that my body would chew them. I swallow them while exterior. ICIB scribbles out another $1,500 bill for "Emergency Medical Handling" and also paper-clips that to my shirt. Nowhere else would I have been shown so much affinity and care. It was a perfect 100% ICIB Emergency handling and I made a mental note in my Analytical Mind that I would write an Success Story when this crisis had passed.
While all of this was happening, our imrec software has been scanning our database of SP's and threats. The imrec software got a hit and this face came up:
It was North Korean dictator Kim Jung II. He was the SP taking photos of Int Base. I could see his face, and behind him the approaching police cars. Nice - no escape physically for him from our security. A vicious dictator had been caught thanks to Scientology.
The police arrested Kim Jung II for being in the US illegally. When they searched his rental car they found a trunk full of FZ books and e-meters. Kim Jung II told police that it was "all squirreled FZ garbage" and that he had drove himself to Int Base to try to buy the "real thing" from Scientology. Kim Jung II also had $500,000,000 in cash in suitcases in his trunk to buy however much Scientology he could from COB RTC. The North Korean dictator said that he wanted to buy, "Authentic Scientology Technology just like Tom Cruise uses in his movies," because he wanted to be "Super Powerful" like Tom Cruise. Kim Jung II then repeatedly cut the air with a "theta knife" hand gesture he had obviously learned from the FZ squirrels and said that he wanted to own "Genuine Scientology OT Powers" because he knew he could use it to defeat the West.
Fortunately, LRH never allowed Communists to be Scientologists because the tech would be too powerful in their hands. LRH only wanted Scientology in free countries and free peoples from whom he could steal, er, steel them against the shocks of life and turn them into homonovises
It was quite a day on post for me. And I was only RPF'd for one year for going into restim during a code red. When I was in RPF I learned to stuff DVD's into envelopes and thereby gained yet another valuable life skill in Scientology. Thanks Ron. You're the best!