I was a public Scientologist from 1995 until 2005, when I finally got beaten down enough to join the Sea Organization at FLAG. I was auditing on OT VII at the time. I realize now that it was the best thing I could have done, because waht I saw there caused me to leave. I'll never again have to spend my money on bogus cuses, like auditing or "helping clear the planet". As horrifying as my experience was, it did wake me up! And life goes on.

I'll start by just listing a few of the many outpoints I saw (I made my decision to leave based on WHAT I ACTUALLY SAW THERE, not the internet or anything else. As a "good Scientologist", I didn't pay any attention to "entheta". My purpose here is to share with others my own experiences, so that they don't need to spend over a million dollars, and join the SO, just to learn what I now know.)

1. The "tech" isn't applied to the staff at all. Examples of this- if PTSness causes all illnesses, and the tech exists to handle this, why do the staff get sick? And, why do they immediately get put into isolation if they get sick?

If auditing really works, and "OTs" are more powerful, why doesn't the staff get auditing? I was on OT VII, but sleep deprivation, lack of vitamins, low-protein diet, and lack of suitable available auditing rooms cut WAY down on my sessions. Eventually, I just gave up (and I was only there for 3 months!).

I was posted in the Solo NOTS HGC, as a Director of Processing. I immediately became concerned at seeing how many people who were "on OT VII" were not auditing (over 1/3). The other D's of P were not, except for one, who was allowed special hours and could drive her car to work. She occasionally got a session. The others didn't audit. The C/Ses didn't audit. The staff was not allowed to do six month checks. I thought, but if LRH says you have to be sessionable and get 8 hours sleep and eat protein and take certain vitamins and get your six month check, WHY isn't "standard tech" being followed?? The recruiters had told me that I would get all of the above-8 hours sleep, good food, vitamins provided, a room to audit in, etc. This was ALL LIES.

The Solo I/C finished OT VII, but hadn't gone to do OT VIII for months after. Why? If "going OT" is so desirable and important? Again, I was told that when I finished, I would be on the ship within 2 days to do OT VIII. Another lie.

2. The main method used to control the staff in the FSO is intimidation, threats, and invalidation.

I expected a very calm, sane environment there, where everyone was "OT" and helped each other and things got done. Guess again!! Not only does no one teach you how to do your post, they HINDER you- a good example of this is the fact that I was there for 2 months and STILL had no computer log in. I was supposed to be a D of P, and contact "my" public, but I had no log-in. No matter how many reports I wrote, it didn't happen. At first, I thought it was just incompetence. But, it isn't. It's INTENTIONAL.

I was told that my husband and I would always have the same schedule, that we could eat together, and have the same days off. Another lie. We had ONE day off together in the 3 months we were there.

The screaming, foul language, and invalidation, caused a general unease in the area that was so thick you could cut it with a knife. People in the SO have very low morale. They can't trust each other. They won't help each other. Once the Board I/C, Geary Titus, actually STOMPED on my feet when I was new, and trying to look at the availability of auditing rooms for my public to use. I was always being told "there aren't any rooms". Anything that can be done to impede your progress IS DONE.

This, then, caused me to question "What's really going on here?" Obviously, doing my job as a D of P isn't what's really supposed to happen. Otherwise, the "admin tech" would be applied, and the organization would be efficient, right?

Who's doing this screaming? The CO, the DCO, RTC, the senior D of P, the Solo I/C, and on ad infinitum. It appeared that the only way to get "to the top" would be to act like that. I saw right away that this wasn't for me.

3. I was told too many lies.

4. I saw that the public were ridiculed, to some extent. Thier sessions were videotaped, their overts and withholds publicly discussed in the HGC. This is contrary to the "priest/penitent confidentiality" that is supposedly there.

5. "Valuable" staff members, such as auditors, were treated like dirt.

There actually is a part of staff meeting where staff members can be held up to ridicule for any reason- the "It's got nothing to do with me" club. When I first saw this, I was astounded. A staff member that I knew well was put into this "downstat club". He was forced to stay an extra 2 hours after his usual day (so he could only get about 4 hours sleep, at best), to do "MEST work". I thought, why didn't they just apply the conditions?

6. The C/Ses only got about 4 hours of sleep, and sometimes were forced to stay up all night. These are the people who are "programming your case"!! They don't audit. They don't get refreshers. They aren't allowed to drive their cars, because one had a wreck when he was too tired to be driving.

7. The buses are overloaded and the drivers are sleep-deprived. The law is violated multiple times daily, as the capacity of the buses is written on a placque in the front of the bus. The buses run late, and there are not enough, but if you are late for your "post", boy, are you in trouble!

8. There are at least 3 people watching each staff member work- security guards, ethics officers, "inspections" officers, CMO, etc. If each staff member actually did something besides spy on other staff members, there might actually be production going on!

This is just the beginning- these are only a few of the outpoints I saw. And I have many many examples of each, that I saw with my own eyes.

There is an evil pall over the Hacienda. No one smiles. No one uses the pool or fitness center. They have no time. They have no energy. They are being kept in and spied on and prevented from leaving. Sure, you can have a car. But, did anyone tell you that you have to do CAR SCHOOL in order to drive it? And ahve a signed "CSW"? More about that later!

Thank you for your post.
Nothing was in vain.
Your story will help others.
Stay strong.

A CSW to drive your own car????
You are kidding, right?? (How do I know you are not kidding??).

Oh, btw, welcome to the message board & thank you for sharing your story.
I have only been to SO orgs as a public, never as SO staff. I was also mission staff later. But when I was at SO orgs I could tell that the staff was under alot stress, even though they would never say so.

I am very interested in hearing more of your story, when you are ready to tell it.

Also, believe it or not, I have found some major relief & peace from coming here & learning that I was not the only person who had major difficulties with Scientology.

I am happy you are out & I hope you find peace too.

Welcome Dr Shannon and thank you for your story. I remember reading your story on Scientology Through the Door Interviews.

Hope to hear more from you.

Hi Dr. Shannon

Thanks so much for posting your story, your courage in leaving and sharing your story will no doubt be a great inspiration to others.

What deplorable conditions for those people who are supposed to be the elite of the Church.. their finest "most ethical" representatives... people work best when they are fed, well-rested, respected...

Thank you for sharing what you experienced.

Dr Donna Shannon

Thank you for your story and welcome to OCMB.

The more I read stories about life in the SO the more I'm glad I never joined it. They tried to recruit me so many times that in the end I just refused to talk to any recruiter. In the back of my mind I used to think that they looked overworked and not as happy as they used to claim they were.
I also heard some screaming matches and saw lots of putdowns of juniors by their seniors( when they thought nobody was watching).

I'm very happy that you are out and that joining the SO opened your eyes-and it only took you three months-.

Pleeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaase keep posting.

Opter

Welcome to OCMB and glad you are out. Thanks for your story. The regges will lie and say anything to get you to sign. I experienced the same BS. I have been to Flag a number of times as a public. The waits to see ethics or go into session were terrible and a huge waste of time. This despite the promises that your cycle is a "fast track". They tell the same lies to everybody.

Look forward to reading about more of your experiences. It is amazing the commonality they have with others who left.

A BIG WELCOME from me to you, Dr. Shannon.

Thank you for telling a bit about your time in $cientology and hope to hear more from you.

Welcome Dr. Donna Shannon!

Glad that you are out and sharing your experiences. Hope that your husband is out as well.

Isn't it great to know that you are no longer caught in the web of lies, spending your valuable earned money on deception and have time be your own again!

Every story posted truly does help!

Hope you continue to share more insights.

Best to you,

lucy

Donna:

This is great news! It has been an exciting few weeks on the 'Bake, and this just adds to our collective joy.

Thanks for your post. This took courage. My best to you as you go forward.

$cientology sucks it, and more and more good-hearted people who were abused by it are coming forward to say just how hard.

Regards,

Natty

Thanks guys, for all the encouagement. My husband left with me. I was threatened by the "ESTO" and told that I was a "suppressive person" because I had spoken to my husband about leaving the SO. How did they know that? Bugged my room or something? But of course, it only makes sense to talk to your own husband, and actually, we made an agreement that if one of us wasn't happy that we would stay together no matter what (before joining). It just so happened that we were BOTH miserable- what a surprise!!

We were lucky, though, to have each other at that time. Even though we are both pretty tough, it was scary. I was sure that the next tactic would be to separate us, and get us out of our room, and that we would lose all the expensive furniture that we brought as well as our lives (not kidding here). My husband had been a $cientologist for 34 years, and has a lot of family members that are in the SO or on staff elsewhere (including his son). He wanted to "route out standardly". I did not. After 4 days of pure lies and bullshit, he agreed to go. After all, his family was going to disconnect from us no matter what. It was too late to worry about being "declared suppressive", and I realized that it was meaningless, if you are not planning to go back and do any services. (I had already been told by various "terminals" that I was suppressive, as I had spoken to another SO member-my husband-about wanting to leave, and had been having fights with the status quo since arriving, as I felt that I was being -excuse my language- "fucked with". (i was!!)).

So many SO members are alone, penniless, foreign (and the SO tries to take your passport), and unfamiliar with the area, so it becomes a much harder thing to just stand up to them and walk away. A common thing that is done is moving a member's posessions to another room with no warning. This severs ties with roommates that might get too friendly, and confide in each other. Really, when in the SO, you are alone. You have no one to talk to. Any complaints will go uplines, and there's a good chance you will go to the RPF, and never be seen again. You have to be tough as nails to get out, and relly believe in yourself- which is hard to do once you've been indoctrinated (brainwashed) enough to join the SO.

Thanks guys, for all the encouagement. My husband left with me. I was threatened by the "ESTO" and told that I was a "suppressive person" because I had spoken to my husband about leaving the SO. How did they know that? Bugged my room or something? But of course, it only makes sense to talk to your own husband, and actually, we made an agreement that if one of us wasn't happy that we would stay together no matter what (before joining). It just so happened that we were BOTH miserable- what a surprise!!

We were lucky, though, to have each other at that time. Even though we are both pretty tough, it was scary. I was sure that the next tactic would be to separate us, and get us out of our room, and that we would lose all the expensive furniture that we brought as well as our lives (not kidding here). My husband had been a $cientologist for 34 years, and has a lot of family members that are in the SO or on staff elsewhere (including his son). He wanted to "route out standardly". I did not. After 4 days of pure lies and bullshit, he agreed to go. After all, his family was going to disconnect from us no matter what. It was too late to worry about being "declared suppressive", and I realized that it was meaningless, if you are not planning to go back and do any services. (I had already been told by various "terminals" that I was suppressive, as I had spoken to another SO member-my husband-about wanting to leave, and had been having fights with the status quo since arriving, as I felt that I was being -excuse my language- "fucked with". (i was!!)).

So many SO members are alone, penniless, foreign (and the SO tries to take your passport), and unfamiliar with the area, so it becomes a much harder thing to just stand up to them and walk away. A common thing that is done is moving a member's posessions to another room with no warning. This severs ties with roommates that might get too friendly, and confide in each other. Really, when in the SO, you are alone. You have no one to talk to. Any complaints will go uplines, and there's a good chance you will go to the RPF, and never be seen again. You have to be tough as nails to get out, and relly believe in yourself- which is hard to do once you've been indoctrinated (brainwashed) enough to join the SO.

Thanks for telling your story,and Very Well Done on walking away.

Hi Dr. Shannon,

Congratulations on getting out!

It sounds like you went through hell at FLAG, good for you and your husband for recognizing that things are not right in the SO and leaving.

I too left the SO, in the '90s after being on a post which was extremely demanding as yours was. I hated the life, but tried really hard to get past the entheta. Back then, I thought that I was saving the world. When I learned the truth I left. I too experienced the screaming by higher ups and the threats of RPF. I came into the Sea Org thinking, as you did, that it would be a calm and sane environment. Boy were we wrong!

Just a question for you, wasn't the first day after you left, the day when no one told you when to eat, breathe, go to post, etc... the best day ever?

Enjoy your life, enjoy your family, and kudos to you for getting out and telling your story.

Serenity Now

I'm looking at a 'stat' here. Comparing this fresh account to my own experience in the GO late 70's. Everything the same, exept much more extreme..

The cult is going to hell in a handbasket!

Dr. Shannon, congratulations on you and your husbands escape. And thank's for telling us about it. You story helps others make the right decision.

Let me add a note on 'routing out as per policy': The church policies on that is designed to persuade you not to, and failing that, to cave you in! That will be a 'no holds barred' effort. - Noone knows that better than $cientologists... Hubturd said that a 'programme, to be successful, must be done!', and you can see the 'routing out' cycle as 'counter intentions' or obstacles. Best handled by circumnavigating.

In short: JUST BLOW THE HELL OUTTA THERE!!


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