I'll take a leaf from mr_bads book and post my story bit by bit. I need the time to do it justice.

Though, if mr_bad would post another of his interesting chapters, I sure would appreciate it!

I have decided to start with the incident that began my exit, though I did not know it at the time. It was later, looking back at it, that really opened my eyes. If I started at the start, you would all get bored before the really interesting stuff. So I will try to suck you into the story with some juicy stuff first.

I was in an auditing room at Int. There were a few old buildings and demountables etc along the way from the base proper towards OGH (Old Gilman House, were I was being held at Lady Miscavige's pleasure). Might need to check google earth and find out more exactly where this was. It was a long time ago and the base has changed heaps since then. I had to be kept away from the general population, otherwise they might start asking questions!

Now, just so you know, I am not writing this story for you. I am writing it for me and for my family and closest friends. I hope you guys will appreciate it and hopefully offer me some feedback. If you had been in like me, you will understand that writing a coherent account of it is very hard. To much nuance and subtlety is left out.

Back to the session. I was being sec-checked ("confessional auditing") by RTC because that is pretty much what they do with anyone who pisses them off. I had been in Scn for many years (around five) at this time, but was still quite naive about the whole thing. I had done something wrong, and was ordered to sec checking and ethics handling. Just like that, no regard for my stats being up, no committee of evidence, no recourse, nothing. Just do it.

At first, I had not been told what I had done wrong (I was always handling flaps, so it could have been any one of them). I had an idea, but it turned out to be totally wrong. It was some other aspect of what I had done that brought the wrath of Lady Miscagive down on me.

This sec check had started to get a little weird, apart from the usual questions about my post, life and personal habits, there were all these questions about 'visitations'. Have you had 'visitations'? Have you been visited in your sleep? Basically they seemed to think that someone had gotten to me, and done the PDH thing. Drugged me up and sent me in to disrupt the organization; they thought I was a plant!

Now, I had heard of these plants, and actually met one. That is someone who had been drugged, hypnotized, given commands, and then sent in to disrupt the organization. At least this guy believed that had happened to him. I can only take his word for it.

I know I digress, expect a fair bit of that.

So I am in this session, and it has basically boiled down to the auditor telling me this: You are either PTS (making mistakes because I am connected to a suppressive) or a plant (had been drugged and been implanted to be disruptive). So which is it? I later heard about gang bang sec checks, but this was not one, and I never experienced one. The auditor was a great guy, and a very good auditor. Lady Miscavige was getting the sec-check results, and directing him on what questions to ask. He was just doing his job, and he was doing it quite well.

I knew I was not a plant, and was not connected to anyone suppressive. But being a good auditor, he was trained to get an answer. You try not answering when someone this good is asking the questions!

Well, I ended up in tears during the auditing session. Well done Lady Miscavige, you brought a 23 year old to tears. I know you were impressed, because in the next auditing session there was a camera set up to record the whole thing. Damn, I bet you wished you had me crying on tape. It would have made a nice addition to the collection.

Anyway, I knew I wasn't a plant, so it must be PTS. I gave up a family member as a terminal. Now, after having read many other stories about ex-SO etc, I believe that if I had named someone, like my seniors, someone in RTC, DM, anybody in the SO etc, it would have proved to them that I had evil purposes and I would have been in a black boiler suit cleaning out toilets. As it happens, I was doing that, only I did not have to wear the black boiler suit.

OK, so why cry about it? Well I had put a lot into this. I had flown half way around the world to go work for them. I had spent many sleepless nights, working and fixing problems. I put everything I had into it because I though it was worthwhile. Mistakes were made, I made them, others made them. But who fixed them? Me. Who was the goto guy when the shit hit the fan? Me. And all that effort, all those good ideas, all that work, everything - comes down to either I am a plant, or PTS. And this is RTC! Other auditors or orgs might make mistakes. Might not have pure tech etc. But their response to what was a major and long term problem (for my whole org at the time, not just me) was just that. I am PTS, or I am a plant.

I laugh at this now. But I wish I had gone with the plant option. Just to see what would have happened. I bet I could have gotten out quicker!

Now, I was trained enough in the lore of the SO to know there are many penalties that can be applied to someone. But LRH always said, keep your stats up and you will be fine. He says you can always contact him if someone hits you when your stats are up. Well, where were you? My stats were up and I was removed from post, put into ethics and then sent to a 'lower org'. No one even looked at my stats.

Why, because Lord and Lady Miscavige are above all that. Their word is law. Their merest wish was our most fervent desire. And if a simple mortal had spoken up about it, they would have been made to take the trip with me.

What a waste of time!

Thanks, pelagic. Keep on keepin' on and telling your story.

Wishing you all good things!

Natty

Being forced to name the evil person who has lead you astray reminds me of Joseph McCarthy, where you got nicer treatment
if you named OTHER people as communists, and were blacklisted if you claimed innocence and refused to name other people
as communists.

Read "The Crucible" by Arthur Miller about the Salem Witch trials, where exactly the same dynamic happened.
Those who confessed to witchcraft and named OTHER people as witches got off easy.
Some who insisted on their innocence and refused to name others got HUNG. The vicious circle didn't end until more powerful
people started being named as witches, and the authorities stopped the whole circus.

Pelagic,

Thanks for sharing some of your story.

Isn't it weird that you can work there 5 years, and all of the sudden, someone completes the PDH auditor (pain drug hypnosis) course and figures you must be a plant. What a psycho paranoid environment!!

Well, I guess they did you a favor...you naughty little plant, you.

I looking forward to reading more of your story.

mb

I had only been cleared for Int for about two years at this point.

At least Hubbard played nice music to his plants.

Dear Palegic, Please continue! I spent nearly two years of my life being sec checked at OGH. In fact, two years of not being able to leave OGH! Although your story is highly "restimulative", I'm fascinated. Not only are you doing a service for yourself and your closest friends, but for everyone. Thank you for speaking out and telling your story. The more people who had been at Int who speak out are literally snipping away at the points that hold the web in place. Please continue. and congrats for making it back to the real world!

Cheers!
BTs2Free

Yes, please do continue!

As you may know, Lord Miscavige has, over 2 years ago now, imprisoned Lady Miscavige. It was recently reported that she probably went too far in sec checking every potential rival (Lord M's female assistant) to find out if they are going out-2D with him.

Another educational example of Responsibilities of Leaders in real life application.

And no, the OGH area has not changed much since.

Hi Pelagic,

thanks for sharing. Never being in myself it is always good to hear from someone who was.

Keep the stories comming please.

As for your family reading this - conside including some details of why you got into Scientology and what you thought it could offer to help them understand why you stayed so long given the circumstances you were subjected to.


BTW that plant you met was probably not a plant. The mind plays funny tricks on people and many "engrams" are either made up or losely based on fact. Being questioned about being a plant or hearing stories about plants can lead to someone's mind constructing a story that they believe to be a true suppressed memory.

Thanks for the replies and support. I am going to put the story up here, bit by bit. I will put the whole thing together for my family. I'm doing it here because I have gained so much from this website and other critics.

Its going to be short of specifics for a while, but don't worry they will come. I am deliberately keeping it a bit vague as I am not ready for anyone to figure out who I am. If you do, PM me.

Let me tell you how I escaped from the base, despite all the razor wire, ground mikes, guards and the like. My freedom was short lived, but I almost made it to the Jack in the Box for a colossus burger!

There is a gate, from one of the parking lots that goes directly across the highway. On the other side of the motorpool from MCI. You were not meant to use the gate, you were to go around and through the tunnel under the highway. There must be no LRH reference on how to cross a road, so we didnt!.

But its the quickest way from OGH to the motorpool area, where I was doing manual labor. There is a camera there, and the guys from the security box can also open the gate. I had been taken through there a couple of times, and I had seen the combo used to unlock it.

After a couple of weeks or so, RTC got bored with my cycle, and had moved on to the next flap. So nothing much was happening and the weeks were just slipping past.

Partly this was because I had said I wanted out of the SO, they had all the info they wanted from me, what I wanted from them (do the steps to get out) was not that important to them.

I had been under watch, but those guys got pulled into something else too. So I spent most of my time alone, doing various things in the motorpool area. Security still had to come escort me to/from OGH and for meals and to go to the canteen etc. Just in case I spoke to someone.

My cycle was going nowhere. The security guy handling my cycle had really tried to get it moving again. He even got a non-RTC auditor to continue my sec checks, and was trying to get someone to help me with other parts on my program.

This was a bad idea. I thought you could say anything to an auditor in session. No you cannot. Especially if its about what Lord and Lady Miscavige are doing. Even if the auditor is a class XII (she was), not to be trusted with this information. This was a major flap, I think the auditor even got in trouble too.

Also I was a bit down, because RTC had sent down my "mail". What my "mail" contained was a heap of KR's (knowledge reports, ie reports written about the bad things I had done) written on me by other staff in the org, these were written a month or so before I got them.

To get it all in one go, and with not one person having a good thing to say about me was a bit much. It was hard to think clearly then. But now I now that when you are ordered to write KRs by an RTC mission, trying to stand up for the person is futile.

So no light at the end of the tunnel, only someone from RTC could finish off my cycle, and they had already moved onto something else.

So after dinner one night I decided to make a break for it. First, Jack in the Box, then maybe a bus down to LA, where my wife was. Then, well I didn't know what then, but that was a good enough start.

So I walked up to the gate, quickly punched the combo in and walked out. Then left, left, over the dry river bed and I made my way down the opposite side to the road, and from there into Hemet.

If I had kept to the back streets, I would have made it to the bus station. But I had been noticed missing and the search party was already on my tail. And I wanted that burger, they picked me up near the Jack in the Box. I could almost smell it!

The food I was given during this handling, and in fact all the time I was in the SO was decent. Nothing like what I have heard from other ex-SO types. I only had rice and beans a couple of times, and that was punishment for something or the other, the org was never on rice and beans.

But something different would have been good. And I liked those Jack in the Box burgers.

Anyway, security got me back in the car and we went back to the base. I met a different auditor from RTC and my cycle started to move again. I think it might have been three months in total that I was up there.

Though my wife got put under watch for a while too. Just in case I made it down there. But it sure got things moving again, I even got a trip into town to buy some clothes. Winter was coming and it gets cold up there.

More later.

Pelagic,

I made a break for it, and I made it as far as the Greyhound bus station. 3 dudes showed up to lure me back. It was fucking creepy.

They weren't being angry like they wanted to strong arm me back, but the scenario had the strong feeling of being abducted.

They said, "if you don't go back with us, you will be declared." At the time I still wasn't clued in to what a complete shitbag Lafatty really was. So, the threat of being declared kind of mattered.

But, after going back and getting sec checked AGAIN and just seeing how everything hinges on a delusional fanatacism, I decided I didn't want to play along anymore.

Also, after they coerced me back, my bus fare was stolen from me, which didn't help their cause.

mb

Thanks for your story, Pelagic.
Man, I've been reading these for a couple years now, and they never get dull. It's just continually mind-boggling.

I have a question about the plant thing. I have never read about this before. Exactly who is it that supposedly drugged the person and sent them to spy or whatever? Evil psychs? Did that ever seem far-fetched to anyone?

Thanks in advance.

If someone knew they wanted to leave scientology, and especially the Sea Org, the last thing you should do is tell them. If you tell them you want to leave you will have to do their routing forms, sign their non-disclosure agreements, pay for their security checks and sign documents admittting to your crimes. You might also end up spending a couple or more years on the RPF or RPFs RPF.

The best way to leave is to just find the nearest DOOR!!!!

But since the doors and gates are guarded and security will track you down and contact every person on your "LIFE HISTORY" form that is not always possible.

My advice is fake a type III incident. Threaten suicide. Claim to be the re-incarnation of L. Ron Hubbard. Tell them your with hold is that you took LSD or were commited to psych hospital and took prozac and had shock therapy.

Beg them to help you. Beg them to please not declare or offload you.

I guarantee you will be out of there within hours with your passport and full plane fare to wherever you want to go.

Ladybird

OMG, Ladybird, that is so true. The problem is that you have to be a very conniving person to pull that off and most of the good people in there are just not that way. Their "1st dynamic" has been suppressed for so long that they cannot save themselves. I know many from the SP Hall, they were bright, competent, strong people to begin with.

Yes Scie-no-mo, you are correct. But with my super duper OT powerz I was able to see with perfect 20/20 hindsight that this is what I should have done.

Of course you could always get pregnant and refuse to have an abortion, that would work too.

Dear Pelagic,

Thank you for posting courageously about what happened to you. Your post has made me think very hard about how difficult it is for people to exit Scientology.

Is it ok if I ramble on about a few ideas on your thread? Because I am really concerned about the lack of KNOWN resources available to folks who want to leave Scientology.

I wish there were more help available for Scientologists who want to quit. I wonder if a big billboard nearby to Scientology central locations would help? "Want to leave Scientology? Need REAL help? Call Jenny / 867-5309."

We should have some kind of "underground railroad" in place. Not something you have to pay for, but volunteers.

Heck, I'd become part of this.

Scientologists who are still in and happen to be reading this thread:

In all probability, your friends and relatives STILL love you and want to see you, regardless of how you might have terminated your relationship with them due to Scientology influence. Never hesitate to call, write, or google them. They will probably cry tears of joy if you contact them to help you. Real love withstands these challenges. Your friends and family will probably die to help you. I'm not kidding. If my little sister called me from Clearwater, I'd grab my contigent of "Rough Riders" and nothing would stop me from extricating her. Nothing. Most family is like this. Most friends are too.

If your "ruin" was bad relationships with friends and family, STILL they would not want you to be in a cult, and also strangers are not as bad as Scientology would have you believe. Nobody is stranger than myself, and I swear I would do anything I could to help ANYBODY out of Scientology. ANYBODY. Walk into the nearest Catholic church and tell the priest that you want to leave Scientology and worry that they will try to drag you back. I've heard of Catholic congregations who hide folks at their nunneries and monestaries to keep them safe. FOR FREE. And you don't have to be Catholic.

If Scientologists cannot make calls, someone could be on the streets or in a park nearby to the central locations, offering handbills with numbers on them. Someone who would be there every weekend for example. I reckon Scientologists take a lot of time deciding to make a break, and they might get info one day, and weeks months or years later decide to blow once and for all.

I guess this is why I love OCMB so much. It's kind of like a "one stop" resource for Scientologists to get info and help. I just worry about those who do not have the net, or who have net nannies and the like.

Oh well, just thinking out loud. I'm hoping that people who have these "underground" services in place have a good way to reach the people that need help.

And thank you for the thought provoking post Pelagic. I am truly sorry that you had this kind of unnecessary and hurtful drama in your life.

That is all.

G'night!


Love,

Os