In Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think For Themselves Steven Hassan encourages people to frequently send brief letters to their loved ones who are in cults, even if it is known that they won't get those letters. This is detailed in Chapter 9, Communication Strategies.

Within the nine or so pages on letter writing there is this:

This was used to provide the first wedge, the fact that scientology never showed the mailed letter to this kid... made the successful intervention/deprogramming described here possible... it was used to open the case..See bottom of this page on ocmb

I write tons of letters even knowing that most are opened by security and never given to the person I wrote them too.

I think that at the very least the security guys have to read them, and ask themselves the questions about what is going on in the real world and why they are illegally opening peoples private mail.

Of the hundreds of letters and gifts I sent a few made it through.

My family members who are out will tell you that they cherished those letters and knew where to call when they did blow or get offloaded.

Please write and keep writing even if you never hear back. Somebody is reading your letters. You just never know how your words will change somebody elses life.

Ladybird, what was to tone of your letters.

"I love you and will always be there for you no matter how you hate me now"....

or... "When you get your shit together, I will be there for you."

or... "When you need me I will be there, no mater what".

or... "After your Amends, I'll consider taking you back".

or... "Whatever you have done, I will forgive you and take you back".

or... 'I'll take you back, but have to trust you before I do".

or... 'Unconditional love for you (suppressing your real feelings)"

or... "Kiss off, I'm disconnecting from you before you disconnect from me".

What would be the tone of the letter, and what's the advice for the aftermath should there be a response or an actual meeting?

Great idea, Wieber!

Just keep in mind, what we all know on the outside, they
have NO clue of, for the most part. Some *may* be lurking,
but most do not.

Send love, send care---those are 2 KEY things missing from
the Cult of Scientology.

My love 2 U all

Tory/Magoo

Steven Hassan gives a lot of good tips for writing letters in his book, including a sample letter to a fictitious cult member.

He says sometimes it's helpful to write what he calls a "purge letter." That's a letter where you let it all out but don't send it and then get rid of it.

For the letters that you will actually send he gives this advice:



There's a lot more stuff on this in that book and a great deal on working toward and achieving the goal of getting your loved one out of the trap they are in. Getting it and reading it may help a great deal with that. But if you don't get the book one thing you can do is write letters to your loved one who is in, even if they don't get them or read them.

The other point with writing letters is to keep copies of them per my first post on this thread.

By the way, "the strategic interaction approach" is a method for getting a loved one out of a cult. Hassan evolved that method from the intervention and deprogramming methods outlined in his earlier book, Combating Cult Mind Control and most of Releasing the Bonds deals with the strategic interaction approach.

I suppose a person in scientology could get and read Releasing the Bonds in an effort to counteract the methodology described there. The trouble with that is the book has been written using that methodology so a cult member reading it is very likely to find themselves waking up and leaving the cult they are in. (Is that some kind of challenge?)

A lot of the same ground is covered in both books. If you can only get one of them get Releasing the Bonds but Combating Cult Mind Control has information in it that I found therapeutic and that isn't in Releasing the Bonds.

This is such a good idea, I can't stress that enough!

If your loved ones are allowed contact with you, i.e. they've not disconnected, it's perfect to just tell them how much you love them and you always will. They'll know there's goodness outside the cult, that love exists even in this "insane" world, and that they have a place to go if/when they decide to leave.

If they're not allowed contact, it's still great. If you are an SP and you know the letters aren't getting to them, why not write letters to relative, but addressing the one reading it? Mention your regret your letter won't make it to relative, how good your life is on the outside, how nobody beats you while you do your job, or how you can talk to whomever you choose. There's other things I'm missing, but that's a basic, basic idea. Just things that will make letter-reader question what he's doing, and on a bigger scale, what he's DOING.

With scientology if the letter coming in is from a person who is a declared suppressive person then the letter will not be read by anyone. However knowing scientology's obsessive compulsive behavior of keeping records I think such a letter would be filed in a folder and stored somewhere instead of being destroyed.

If that is the case, don't stop writing those letters.

The other thing you need to know is that all letters sent to a person at an org's address will be opened by someone in the Hubbard Communications Office division (HCO) and read before being passed on or not to the recipient. If you send money the odds are very high that the intended recipient will not get it.

Back to Steven Hassan's book, Releasing the Bonds. That book gives very good advice on what to say and what not to say to a cult member either in person or in writing.

One other point - do not let your family member who is in a cult see your copy of Releasing the Bonds or any of the other books in your cult library.

This is from Releasing the Bonds and I thought it would be appropriate here.

Is anybody here who once did that? How did these letters influence you about the church? I wonder about this all the time, how these folks work knowing that what they are doing is not right and what is that straw that finally snaps them out of it.