Been thinking about this all day. I have come to the conclusion that this feeling I have is peculiar for those who have been in scientology, perhaps only me, and that this feeling can not be categorized within any other previous classification. There is a very distinct disdain being talked down to by a loser who's a legend-in-his-own-mind, who is so thoroughly brain-washed he doesn't see his losses are deeply entwined with the very same sewage he's preaching. It's ultimate irony.

It's my loss too because I've loved this guy most of my life. Now we are all getting older, and those decisions we have made in our lives are beginning to gleam. Time isn't time for scientologists. A lifetime could be a blink of the eye (when the programming snaps). Doesn't matter that someone spent more than half of his life drinking away a fortune, investing large sums in scientology, and in the end, essentially has "nothing", but YET, he can spill all the judgmental shlock.

Something I'm just going to have to get over. And I have decided I will.

I'm sure there are similar stories. I didn't mean to talk up so much time and space with this... so sorry for that. I just needed to vent.

Thanks.

Yeah. I guess that's all he's got left...

...judgmental opinion(s).

Let's get even sicker... my main, number-one guy, my best friend is under the knife today getting a quad by-pass. We are praying that he comes through ok.

This is obviously very sudden, and life changing surgery.

I can predict my number-two guy's statements of "support". From the bottom of a bottle. If I were able (which I am not) I'd go to the bar and end this once and for all!

I've noticed that lately I have been getting a bit more angry than I normally do. The little things that make a difference. Going to start speaking up even when it is not "the right time to do so 'at the right time'". I'm not talking violence... never did that unless in self defense. I',m talking getting in the face of those who need a talking too... though I'm not backing down from threats.

Major decision here.

Hope I'm not posting from a hospital room...

SRF. I hope all goes well with your friend. I personally find venting online to be very theraputic @ times. I am somewhat of a knee jerk poster @ times. Yet after I post rage or stupid comments, I generally go outside and either take a walk or do something constructive. This is the time in which I reflect on what I may have posted online in an emotional fit of angst or whatever. If I come to the conclusion that I stepped out of line or hurt/harmed someone with my posting, I am more than willing to make amends.

Wearing our hearts on our sleeves can be a good or bad thing @ times. I tend to think its a good thing!

SRF, me too, I hope your friend does well and makes a full, quick recovery! And I hope you are able to find peace with your other friend, even if that means telling him off, or getting past the anger of his bad, bad choices. (Personally, I'm rooting for you to tell him off, sounds as though he could use the verbal slap! But only if it makes you feel better.)

I also want to tell you... I hope you see you visiting Xenu.net for a long time. The pictures of your home and garden are beautiful. It's a good example of how a person can indeed, rebuild their life after being in a totalitarian cult like Scientology. Having a place to call your own, in addition to the reward of seeing all those blooming -- it's a feeling everyone needs in their soul. Auditing may be a delicious electronic opiate, but it doesn't fill the soul the way the modest accomplishment of building a home, a family, and a real life.

Thanks you two... you're the best. Let you know the outcome. He's been closed up and resting. Right now that's all I know.

I'm going to be done here for awhile. After posting on the other side, I don't think I have ever been more upset with dicks and pricks and shall I say the "C" word... which most definitely applies to the Cunts who are still here.

As much as it pains me.... I am out of here. I got a life to live, and if you all look back, I haven't done shit to help anyone.... though I tried. Just a bunch of pissed-off ex-whatevers.

Peace,

SRF

PAUL

Paul, because you have a habit of coming and going, which I think is a good thing for you, I won't say "don't go." I will say, however, PLEASE COME BACK LIKE YOU NORMALLY DO! Don't let those posts put you off coming here.

I think you're wrong about not helping anyone. Like I said above, the posts you've made in this thread show people that a better life is out there. And in my case, things aren't going well for me personally due to the "ecomonie" (as they'd say in Idiocracy) but your pictures made me smile.

Why people have started jumping on your case I'm not really sure... a lot of it has been way out of line, and I hope you can see that you're valued here.

I love this side of the board. If I don't get booted from saying this:

http://ocmb.xenu.net/ocmb/viewtopic.php?p=381022#381022\

I'd love to keep chiming in. Sorry, I was just so upset! I either got it off my chest, or kicked out altogether. Hope to be back! Editor and Chief by my side!

What I love most of all it to post life after.... pic's or words.

So Mr. Bad, should there be a debate between 'Rebuilding your life' and 'Really Rebuilding Your Life'? We could add some life there.... that is some life.

Ok, I will chill for a while... I really need to do that, but I WANT to be here. I love to post things (words/pictures)that represent the life after...

You're doing the right thing, SRF. Glad to see you back here.

People may not always agree, tempers may flare and opinions may differ, words may get thrown around; but we're here for the same main reason: Scientology is rotten to the core. They tell you if you leave your life will fall to misery, but threads like this prove that FALSE. Stopping the abuse now and for future Scientologists, friends and families; as well as healing those who have suffered is extremely important. The more we keep our eyes on the reason, the better we'll be.

BTW, I'm going for another surgery on the 11th this week, with 3-months rehab to follow. I've always tried to stay positive, but if this works out I will explain about the misdiagnosis I've lived through the past two years. Would love to be moved out of the "Oh Crap" position, so I can finally change my sig.

I've posted this on Facebook to particular friends, but oddly enough I feel I have friends here too though I have never met them, so I am posting here as well.

No good luck needed, I am [in] very good hands. Just wanted my friends here to know what is up with me. Will be posting soon!

Love to all!

Paul

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