Intermission....

duhast · **Posted:** Wed Dec 29, 2010 7:33 pm

Time for a joke.

Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog vendor and says "Make me one with everything." :clown:

I'll be here all week, folks! Try the veal and don't forget to tip your waitress....

SeeYaBye · **Joined:** Thu Mar 13, 2008 7:15 pm **Posts:** 772

Groan..... ok, it did make me chuckle, especially since my first reaction was "where the hell is the punch line!" Good one.

Wieber · **Joined:** Tue May 23, 2006 10:57 pm **Posts:** 8398

"Is this on?"

duhast · **Posted:** Wed Dec 29, 2010 10:18 pm

Wieber wrote:

"Is this on?"

Hey, c'mon. This material ain't cheap...

Smurf · **Joined:** Tue Oct 19, 2010 4:10 am **Posts:** 2681

How many Buddhist monks does it take to change a lightbulb?

None….the lightbulb must change from within.

duhast · **Posted:** Thu Dec 30, 2010 12:51 am

Are you stealing my material?

duhast · **Posted:** Thu Dec 30, 2010 12:55 am

Then there’s the one about the Buddhist vacuum cleaner… comes with no attachments.

Radio Paul · **Joined:** Mon Nov 22, 2010 1:57 am **Posts:** 341

A spin on both of the above jokes. A man goes to a Buddhist hotdog vendor and ask for one hotdog and mustard. The monks says that is $1.50 then man gives him two one dollar bills and the monk thanks him and says next. The man says you forgot my change? The monk says I can not give you change my son, change must be made from within, NEXT!

Smurf · **Joined:** Tue Oct 19, 2010 4:10 am **Posts:** 2681

How many Buddhist scholars does it take to change a light bulb?

An internationally respected committee of academics, after deliberating all night, conclusively failed to agree on the meaning of the word ‘light bulb’. Meanwhile, the sun came up.

duhast · **Posted:** Thu Dec 30, 2010 1:05 am

A slight shift of gears, but IMHO this is arguably the funniest joke in history...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDowTz8-Vno

Smurf · **Joined:** Tue Oct 19, 2010 4:10 am **Posts:** 2681

duhast wrote:

A slight shift of gears, but IMHO this is arguably the funniest joke in history...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDowTz8-Vno

I didn't find it funny... maybe after a bottle of Jack Daniels, I'll watch it again.

duhast · **Posted:** Thu Dec 30, 2010 2:09 am

Smurf wrote:

duhast wrote:

A slight shift of gears, but IMHO this is arguably the funniest joke in history...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDowTz8-Vno

I didn't find it funny... maybe after a bottle of Jack Daniels, I'll watch it again.

Seriously? That thing cracks me up...

Tigger · **Joined:** Sun Nov 19, 2000 7:06 pm **Posts:** 9147

HAP....PY NEW YEAR 2011.....The Year of the Rabbit

Quote:

The CIA, the FBI, and the Los Angeles Police Department
(LAPD) are all trying to prove that they are the best at
apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them
a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout
the forest.

They question all plant and mineral witnesses.
After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude
that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn
the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later dragging a
badly beaten mountain lion. The lion is screaming, "Okay, okay! I'm a RABBIT!! I'm a RABBIT!!"

:oops:

duhast · **Posted:** Thu Dec 30, 2010 3:36 am

Tigger wrote:

HAP....PY NEW YEAR 2011.....The Year of the Rabbit

Quote:

The CIA, the FBI, and the Los Angeles Police Department
(LAPD) are all trying to prove that they are the best at
apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them
a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout
the forest.

They question all plant and mineral witnesses.
After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude
that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn
the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later dragging a
badly beaten mountain lion. The lion is screaming, "Okay, okay! I'm a RABBIT!! I'm a RABBIT!!"

:oops:

Poor lion.....

I'mglib · **Joined:** Fri Jul 29, 2005 5:17 pm **Posts:** 4971

Q: How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to hold the penis....I MEAN LADDER!

Intermission....

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