Scientology's Future History! A Vision from 1969, and our Stats Roundup
By Tony Ortega Thu., Mar. 15 2012 at 8:00 AM
Categories: STATurday!, Scientology, Thursday 2pm Stats!http://blogs.villagevoice.com/runninsca ... gys_fu.php
On Thursdays, Scientologists race to turn in their weekly stats, and we like to do the same, looking at how the church has fared around the world.
This week, before we get to a couple of press items, we're going to start with something special.
One of our tipsters sent us something that we always get a kick out of -- a vision of the future written in the past.
In this case, Scientology's Advance! magazine envisioned what the year 2010 would be like, from back in those heady days of 1969, when Scientology was in its heyday, considered cool by some, and, as we've pointed out before, could maybe even get you laid.
Here's that page from Advance!, and below we'll print the transcript...
Space Org Success on Another Planet: Year 2010
What has it been like since Dianetics and Scientology were introduced to our planet? It's been fantastic!
There's been a lot of groovy changes. For example, we found that the smog in our capital city, Cazon, all cleared up after we cleared 35% of the city's population. And, you know the desert on Salmar our climatologists hadn't been able to explain -- suddenly began to have regular rainfall and has since become an exceedingly remunerative inter-galactic resort.
In fact, since we promoted Monar Sal, OT VIII, to the head of the Global Weather Bureau the weather has been a damn sight better and we've had no more wshed out baseball games or rocket car races.
The medical authorities eagerly cooperated with Dianetics right from beginning. And with the impact of Dianetics the medicos made real advances in their own field. Why it's routine now if a guy gets his body too badly smashed up and it can't be saved that our medicos fly in a new body unit to him and then run out the engram.
Of course, the frequency of such accidents is almost zero now.
I remember how it used to be before that day when the blue and gold space ships of the Space Org wafted down fluttering huge banners which said (in our own language, mind you) BEINGS OF MOTHAR, GOOD NEWS, SCIENTOLOGY IS HERE, TOTAL FREEDOM AWAITS YOU.
I'm not sure what a "momb" is, but I am pretty excited about the Space Org showing up in the lower atmosphere to proclaim, GOOD NEWS, SCIENTOLOGY IS HERE, TOTAL FREEDOM AWAITS YOU. That just seems like an image begging for some Photoshopping. Sponge?
read more at link
Story #2: Bunker Mentality
Story #3: Auditors in Bow Ties