Here are things I saw with my own eyes concerning behaviors of a person in Scientology.
1) My boyfriend jumped whenever the new owner said jump. He didn't question anything. He never questioned that he was doing most of the physical work, had needs like paying for groceries and his rent, and he was getting maybe 100 dollars a week. My boyfriend just believed this was the right thing to do because the company would be really big and then he would have alot of money when the company was finally sold.
2) He never questioned whether he was getting his money's worth out of Scientology. I was his first real girlfriend when he was in his late 20's. He became a Scientologist when he was a teenager right out of high school. 10 years and hardly any dates???? Hmmmmm, this wouldn't get a high rating with Consumer Reports!!!!
3) All the terms that Scientologists use seem to get in the way of communication with outsiders. I refused to use the terms that he was using. I asked him, doesn't this make it hard for you to communicate with people that aren't Scientologists? My boyfriend admitted that it did. This practice seems to cut down on communication and to isolate the person from non-Scientologists.
4) The knowledge reports were upsetting to me. I couldn't believe my boyfriend had to write one because someone said something against Scientology. My boyfriend tried to explain this to me, why it was a good thing, but it just seems sneaky and a way for them to get info to use against you or others if needed.
5) Scientologists seem to believe that everyone outside Scientology has a big problem. When people steal or lie, it's because they don't have Scientology. Yet, in the course of the year, I saw and was told by boyfriend about situations where his business partners had lied, had forged a signature, had taken some money that belonged to the company, that sort of thing. I was angry about that, yet my boyfriend just said, it's being handled. Yeah, the offending members had to do some extra Scientology stuff. Yet, how is this different from when outsiders lie or steal? They are still doing it as Scientologists! WHen one becomes a Scientologist, one isn't automatically amoung people that are less "criminal". It is just hidden better because they have to go through Scientology mediation instead of taking things to normal authorities, like the police or to court.
6) The WISE stuff didn't seem to work out that well. The company was being run under WISE "tech", and the new owner (who wasn't as swift as first believed) put money and effort into having a big office space when they hardly any clients. But, according to WISE, the first thing was to have some physical space that was your own. Or, something like that. They followed WISE yet the company still sank like a rock. Chaos seemed to run rampant and common sense approaches to running the business were overlooked.
7) My boyfriend tried to get me interested in Scientology. He told me about the initial training. About how you had to learn to communicate. He said the very first thing you learn was how to "be there". I read on the internet about how this is done by sitting still for a long time and not blinking and that this causes a person to go into a trance-like state and have less critical-thinking ability. ANother training method my boyfriend told me about was "finding one's buttons". How they say things to you that make you react, and keep saying them until you no longer react, you can just take it. What is the point of this? To make you shut off your reactions?
My boyfriend talked about clears and how great that was. He did tell me about one clear he knew that still got angry, yet it was because he chose to be angry, not because of his reactive mind acting up. Ummmm, is this just a cover-up for the fact that technology didn't work? Why be angry (and lower on the tone scale)? Isn't it better to choose to be happy?
9) The tone scale seemed fishy to me. It seemed odd to assign moral values to feelings and to rank them. It seemed to me that since anger and doubt were very low on the tone scale, you wouldn't want to admit to having those feelings.
10) My boyfriend told about how they don't talk to each other about their cases, that they all have to concentrate on handling their problems. But, if you can't talk about it, aren't you a bit isolated? If you have feelings that things aren't going so well, yet everyone else seems to be saying things are great, won't you be less likely to speak up? Won't you start to question yourself and think you aren't doing something right?
11) I thought it was weird that having doubt was bad. In my view, doubt is a safe-guard. It allows you to stand back a bit, to get information and observe and analyze before you make a decision. My boyfriend was in doubt about his company, and he had to go through some formula for doubt to get out of it. It didn't make sense to me, it was something about defining your enemies and dealing an effective blow to those enemies. My boyfriend spent hours, trying to define his enemies. I said that I didn't get it, and he said, "yeah, this is really deep stuff.". It seemed he thought because he couldn't understand it, it must be really great and something like rocket science.
12) My boyfriend was not happy I wasn't receptive to being in Scientology. He said later that our relationship was going the way it was supposed to. He thought that he could tell me how fun and great it was, how it was "so true", and then I would want to look into it, experience it for myself. Yet, why do I have to "experience it for myself"? I don't have to go bungee jumping to know that I don't want to do it. I am not a thrill seeker, I'd rather stay home and read a book. Later, he tried to make me feel bad about myself. We were spending alot of time together, and I didn't have many friends. He pointed that out to tell me I had a problem that Scientology could fix.
13) WHen he was really having problems with the company and thinking about leaving, the owner tried to get him back on track by having him go through this "Repairing Past Ethics" counselling. At the same time, I was talking to him and saying, you know, what about what you had originally wanted to do when you were in high school? What about that? That got my boyfriend thinking about his original plans to go for an Electronics degree. He was a whiz with anything mechanical or electrical. Luckily he decided to leave the company and pursue going to college. He was able to find a good, steady job as a electrical technician at a non-Scientology company. Later,
he switched his goals and said all he wanted to do was make money and do Scientology. I was suspicious at this time that other church members were in a struggle with me over him and they were counselling him and coaching him. All of a sudden they offered him free courses and said he had some money in an account (that they never told him about before) so he could take even more courses. Before this he was so broke he couldn't pay for the courses, and noone offered him a free course or told him about some credit he had towards courses.
14) My boyfriend really seemed stuck in a teen-age mentality even though he was almost 30. I don't mean a "getting drunk and smashing pumpkins on Halloween" sort of thing. I mean a real naive approach to things, a tendency to let others direct him and do things for him. Instead of thinking things through, he turned to those Scientology formulas (like the one for Doubt) to decide what he should do. Things that should have taken a person a short time to decide took him alot longer as he pondered those confusing formulas.
15) He never questioned why all of the other people in his company had bad credit and money problems. Even the owner that was supposed to be so great with business. I mentioned this, but he snapped "what do you know about this?" at me.
Our relationship really went south as he started having some good things happen, like leaving the company and getting a good job with great benefits and making plans to go to a technical college. It seemed like he didn't need me so much after that, which is probably a good thing, and he could get back into Scientology since he started having money again. As a daughter of an alcoholic, I was very good at taking care of others, taking their problems upon myself and really carrying their load. I felt angry thinking that I was used, but if I was I let it happen. Maybe if he had hit rock bottom, which he almost did, he would have had to go back to his parents and live with them until he got back on his feet. Maybe he would have realized that he got nowhere in 10 years with Scientology. I was hoping that once he got a decent job and got on his feet he would realize that there was a better way than Scientology. But, getting him on his feet only caused him to run right back there. He once told me about how he was when he was in junior high, about how he liked to fix everything mechanical and how he could make the whole classroom, even the teacher, laugh with his funny jokes. Yet, he never realized that those talents that made him likable and a great mechanic he had before he entered Scientology. Scientology didn't give him that, they were part of him at birth. And, that is what I loved about him. We were constantly laughing, and I admired his skills at fixing things so very, very much. BUt, I could never be a part of Scientology. I grew up with a very controlling father and from an early age I resisted being controlled. I wanted to think for myself, to look at things in my own way. Loving someone isn't enough to give up your right to use your mind to look at things critically and logically, your right to ask questions, your right to information.