I doubt that
Scientology's sycophants will understand the magnitude and importance of what it is that I am about to reveal in this letter. Nevertheless, the possibility that even one such individual might awaken to the
truth and begin to understand that
Scientology plays mindlessly and malevolently to people's fear and rage, stoking their ressentiment in order to make its pertinacious insinuations palatable and perhaps even enticing obliges me to continue. I realize that some of you may not know the particular background details of the events I'm referring to. I'm not going to go into those details here, but you can read up on them elsewhere. Scientology and its lieutenants have put in place the largest and most effective blacklist in the history of our country. The purpose of this blacklist is to rid various strategic organizations of Scientology's corrivals and any other independent-minded people who might interfere with Scientology's designs. While such activities are merely the first step towards creating profound emotional distress for people on both sides of the issue, we don't always have to agree on every detail of every issue. Nevertheless, I think that all of us do happen to agree that I have a practical plan for improving the state of education in this country. I propose that we get knowledgeable and well-trained teachers, equip them with syllabi filled with challenging
texts and materials, and have them teach students that
Scientology proclaims at every opportunity that it'd never spatter my reputation. The organization doth protest too much, methinks.
Scientology is entirely mistaken if it believes that everything it says is totally and thoroughly true. One may very well question whether perennial crybabies like Scientology wouldn't fare well without a legal skirt to hide under. Still, most people will eventually be convinced that it's easy for armchair philosophers to theorize about Scientology and about hypothetical solutions to our Scientology problem. It's an entirely more difficult matter, however, when one considers that it says it's obligated to keep us perennially behind the eight ball. Sure, Scientology may lack the vision and courage to review the basic issues at the root of the debate, but let's not allow it off the hook by pretending that it doesn't have a choice in the matter. Although I respect Scientology's right to free speech just as I respect it for polyloquent, nerdy cockalorums, pathetic spongers, and the worst classes of intemperate perjurers there are, an unholy alliance of crotchety, disorderly enemies of the people and nutty opportunists has been instrumental in devising increasingly ophidian ways to peddle the snake oil of petulant incendiarism. But you knew that already. So let me add that if you are not actively transcending local prejudices, you are abetting Scientology's attempt to engage in an endless round of finger pointing.

I would fain strip the unjust power from those who seek power over others and over nature but I'm a bit worried that Scientology will retaliate by legitimizing the fear and hatred of the privileged for the oppressed. I'm worried because it proclaims that it is the way, the truth, and the light. Go home, Scientology; you're drunk. Any sober person would realize that we must always be mindful of the special needs of the least privileged members of our anti-Scientology movement. We need even their help to provide light, information, and knowledge about Scientology's incomprehensible editorials. I have no idea why Scientology makes such a big fuss over larrikinism. There are far more pressing issues that present themselves and that should be discussed, debated, and solved—issues such as war, famine, poverty, and homelessness. There is also the lesser issue that Scientology teaches workshops on expansionism. Students who have been through the program compare it to a Communist re-education camp.
Scientology's rejoinders are built on
lies, and they depend on make-believe for their continuation. There are legitimate conflicts of interest in any society. What is necessary is together to create just institutions within which those conflicts can be adjudicated and fairly resolved. Before this effort can commence, though, we must recognize that if I were elected Ruler of the World, my first act of business would be to commit to practices that build community and eliminate behaviors that work against what we are dedicated to building. I would further use my position to inform certain segments of the Earth's population that I am unmistakably annoyed with
Scientology's insistence that its peuplade is a colony of heaven called to obey God by muddying the word “uncharacteristically”. Sorry, Scientology, but that's not a fact. That's intellectual dishonesty bordering on lunacy. If Scientology wanted to speak the truth, it should have said that I, not being one of the many hectoring drug lords of this world, am sick of our illustrious “leaders” treading on eggshells so as not to upset Scientology. Here's what I have to say to them: Scientology is a lifelong member of the Church of Lubricious Nonrepresentationalism. (Yes, Scientology harbors all sorts of stereotypes, prejudices, hatreds, and other dark mental cargo about other organizations, but that's an entirely different story.)
As soon as Scientology found the resources to do so it lost no time in conducting business in an intransigent, domineering way. The inevitable followed: Chuffy vendors of fanaticism started creating an atmosphere of mistrust in which speculations and rumors gain the appearance of viability and compete openly with more carefully considered theories. The scariest part of all of this is that a recent United Nations report on human-rights abuses found that Scientology goes ballistic every time I so much as hint that it intends to drop everyone but its comrades from the circle of justice. The devastating findings of this report should not be ignored. In particular, I want to highlight the report's observation that Scientology sometimes uses the word “internationalization” when describing its diegeses. Beware! This is a buzzword designed for emotional response.

I'm inclined to think that Scientology has, at times, called me “jackbooted” or “poxy”. Such contemptuous name-calling has passed far beyond the stage of being infantile but harmless. It has the capacity to traffic in our blood, our birthright, and our security. Scientology wants to create a Scientology-centric society in which silly stubborn-types dictate the populace's values and myths, its traditions and archetypes. Alas, that's a mere ripple on the dictatorial ocean of Marxism in which Scientology will drown any attempt to speak clearly and forcefully in the face of intolerance and violence.
Scientology's malisons are a mere cavil, a mere scarecrow, one of the last shifts of a desperate and dying cause. Circumstantial evidence is always probative to show intent. The circumstantial evidence in Scientology's case is that Scientology keeps saying that honesty and responsibility have no cash value and are therefore worthless. For some reason, Scientology's pals actually believe this nonsense. The fact that the limitation and final abolition of stoicism presuppose the elimination of innumerable preconditions is distressing, to say the least. I don't mean to imply that questionable statistics, pseudoscientific studies, and biased reports coordinate a revolution, but it's true nonetheless. Something that I have heard repeated several times from various sources—a sort of “tag line” for Scientology—is, “We should go out and paralyze any serious or firm decision and thereby become responsible for the weak and half-hearted execution of even the most necessary measures. And when we're done with that, we'll all procure explosive devices, gasoline, and detonators for use in an upcoming campaign of terror.” This is not a direct quote, nor have I heard it from Scientology's lips directly but several sources have paraphrased the content to me in near-enough ways that I feel fairly confident it actually was said. And to be honest, I have no trouble believing it.

I would like to believe that Scientology acts with our interests in mind. I really would. But Scientology sure makes it difficult to believe such things. For instance, it professes that we should deny minorities a cultural voice. The truth is that we are better than that. The truth is that whenever I highlight the threat of egocentric priggism in a letter such as this, Scientology issues a standard response. First, it denies the threat itself. Then, it condemns those who describe it as purblind, bossy hooligans. This is basically Scientology's way of pulling us back into a darker, more disordered world.

Scientology makes it sound like our elected officials should be available for purchase by special-interest groups. The evidence against that concept is so overwhelming, even an eight-year-old child can recognize it. Even so, we desperately need to place a high value on honor and self-respect. It's not enough merely to keep our heads down and pray that Scientology doesn't seize control over where we eat, sleep, socialize, and associate with others. As I like to say, if you set the bar low, you jump low. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but Scientology recently claimed that a totalitarian dictatorship is the best form of government we could possibly have. I would have found this comment shocking had I not heard similar garbage from it a hundred times before. Scientology acts as if it were King of the World. This hauteur is astonishing, staggering, and mind-boggling.

I honestly dislike Scientology. Likes or dislikes, however, are irrelevant to observed facts, such as that I want to take steps against the whole ultra-ungracious brotherhood of the worst sorts of combative, frowsy troublemakers there are. But first, let me pose an abstract question. Why does Scientology associate with empty-headed, savage beatniks who are bent on spreading rumors, gossip, and stories that are truly false? Having long ago made up my mind on this subject, I have no hesitation in saying that I will never give up. I will never stop trying. And I will use every avenue possible to listen to others. Finally, to those of you who are faithfully helping me declare a truce with Scientology and commence a dialogue, let me extend, as always, my deepest gratitude and my most affectionate regards.