Operation Clambake Message Board

Just wanted to say I have been lurking...yeah lurking [img] for a long time but never had the courage to register. I have to say right now I am scared (my heart is pounding). I was a Scientologist for about 20 years. Oh, first I have to say this. Tory you are an amazing woman and the one that gave me the push to do this move. So much I could say but not yet. Just glad so many people see the things I see and share it together. Makes you feel like you are not alone in this. I am not quite ready to tell my whole story yet but I got real sick a few years ago and I didnt get help (I didnt have the money) and since I have children, am a single mom and HAD to work I found myself having to take anti-depressants. :oops: Hope I am not shocking anyone here. But it was a question of survival. I had to work and without it I wouldnt have been able to. Literally. Took me a few months before I decide to make the move but when I saw I wasnt getting any help from the church and they sure werent going th...

dingdång wrote:Hi Whitedove and welcome!!!

Good thing that youve register now.
I really would like to hear your story, but take your time and tell it when it feels fine for you.
Youre not shocking me by saying you take antidepressives, for me its just a medicine that some people need sometimes. Thats all.
I hope to hear more from you!

Take care!

Thanks dingdang. I appreciate the welcome

SchwimmelPuckel wrote:Hi there and welcome!

I can understand that our erstwhile friends made their 'fear conditioning' work for you. Relax some! - Looks like they are shy of resources to harrass anybody these days. But you know that already if you lurked.

Yeah I know but still, for now I'm just keeping a low profile
I'll come out of my shell when I feel comfortable enough.

Wow everyone. Thank you for such a warm welcome. Thelma. That is exactly in a situation like yours I was in when I started taking the meds otherwise I wouldnt of been able to function. For me it is anxiety and panick attacks. But mine was chronic than. I went to the emergency room like 4 times. Saw numerous doctors and even a lung specialist. Did all the test you can think of for the lungs. Nothing. zero. niet. not even asthma and I couldnt breathe! Well, you breathe but its like you cant. Otherwise I would of die obviously. But I dont wish that to my worst enemy. It was hell. It was during my PTS SP course that started to happen. Strange eh? And of course I sometimes was even scared of taking the bus cause sometimes I had heavy panick attacks. So anyhow the Course supervisor call me one time and I told her what was happening with me. She said to go to the org and find my MUs!!! (misunderstood words). I was soooooooooooo freakin upset (excuse my english). Than I went to see a scientolo...

Whitedove, Just to note, long messages written from the heart are not boring. :wink: Write what you need. Someone will always read what you wrote. One thing to remember, you never know how your words will help another. What may seem boring to you, due to length or what have you, may be a soul mender for another. Scientology has a way of breaking ones spirit, but it is definitely and completely mendable and becomes stronger from the experience. That I can fully attest to! :wink: :lol: Once again welcome! lucy (PS ... Just an aside, working in production can be quite stressful in and of itself. I had a bit of experience with this at a time in my life. Hope the production company isn't involved in Scientology. To me that would be like production on a bad acid trip!!! :roll: :) ) lol nope lucy. The production company is definitely NOT involve in Scientology :D I am out of Scientology. When I took the decision to take the anti-depressant (which for that particular brand is also used for an...

Whitedove: I went to see a scientologist doctor at one point but than I was taking ativan sometimes to be able to breathe for awhile. I told him. As soon as he knew I was taking Ativan I saw he didnt want to help me and than he told me to take walks and look around me (trees, houses,,etc..). This is called a "PAB 6 Program" in the cult. It is ordered for people who have symptoms of any illness, anxiety etc. Here is the PAB (Professional Auditor Bulletin): : From PAB 6 PROFESSIONAL AUDITOR'S BULLETIN © 1991 L. Ron Hubbard Library <start fair use quote> "Now observe the mental curve of a physically ill person. It approximates, in the various stages of the sickness, the various depths of the Tone Scale. A physically ill person is a mentally ill person. In the sanitariums, *if* [italicized in original text] they had anybody there to observe it, some percentage of their "insane" are only ill physically, but this chronic physical illness is bad enough to make them act insane. One notable c...

First, congrat on leaving the church.
But I need to say something...
I am not OT but have read about it and when I found out about OT III I was like <what the heck!>
What is spiritual about BTs???
And about people starving? How about having Scientologists go and HELP those that are REALLY in need.
Its not like the church cant afford it!!
THIS really gets my blood going.
Of course, third world, people starving, having almost nothing, the environment, I mean REALLY helping this world in needs.
Dont compare those starving with people paying thousands of dollars to get gains when some of that money could be used to help people in REAL need.
How about a little sharing eh?

My point is that walking around and lookin at things is part of an approved program by Hubbard to handle illness, anxiety and depression...and your scientology doctor was following "standard tech"> BTW, Whitedove...Welcome to the board. Take whatever precautions you need to ensure your privacy. I have told a lot of stories this past year, but they still don't know who I am! So many of us have been treated to the same Hubbard "tech" that the few OSA left have no idea where to even start looking for us! I know because I was there, plus I have been called and asked if I knew who I was!!!??? Of course I answered honestly and said "I have no idea who Ladybird really is." (That is the formula for the condition of "Enemy" according to L. Ron Hubbard). "Find out who you really are." 8) You are among friends, Welcome! Ladybird Thanks Ladybird. Well, he could of show me the damn PAB than! Whatever....yeah clean up your mest...like I was in a condition to do mest! throw things or spit? I probabl...

Welcome Grasshopper! I'm new too and I must say that is exactly how I feel about being here too

When you are ready to share your story, we'll listen.

Glad to have you aboard.

kate wrote:White Dove,

I'm so glad you were brave enough to get the medical help you needed.

My late husband was put on a PAB 6 program when he became depressed. When I felt that wasn't enough I was threatened with a declare when I filled the prescription for an anti-anxiety drug. He refused to take it. He refused to take the anti-depressant the doctor ordered and by then I was back under CofS's influence so I agreed with him about not taking it. He would be alive today if I had just followed the doctor's orders.

I'm so sorry Kate. That breaks my heart
((((hug))))
Whitedove

Whitedove..... WOOOO HOOOO! Congratulations! Thank you SO much for taking the time, and using your courage, to post here and share how you feel :wink: PHEW!! Big step, I know, but a good one, eh? Aren't all these folks amazingly wonderful? I know they've helped me greatly, and many who are not here, too! No sweat at ALL re medications! Believe me, I lived with Scientology's insanities re meds and I was just on regular medications, not "psych drugs'...but to most of them, ALL medications are bad--no matter how life and death the situation is! I congratulate you on doing what you need to do, and not worrying about others. Poof! :cya: (to those who are bothered by it, eh?) Take your time re telling your story. A few things to consider: IF you have family "in"....I'd say stay anonymous, or there's a very good chance you'll lose them. By that I mean if you want to tell your story, do so, but change the years, orgs, specific things that they can track you down as, for then they'll declare y...

magoo1 wrote:Thanks D-Rad......

Hey, if you'd like, sure...give me a call. I'm always happy to speak
to people, expecially those I meet here on the Internet, and especially
people who were "in". We all have SO much in common!

Best time now is next week, after 7 pm. I'll tell ya all why
after Saturday <<grin>>

Best!

Tory/Magoo~~
(818) 841-3632

Thanks Tory. I have been thinking a few times already.
Ok, after 7pm next week. I'll keep that in mind.
Thank you

deb_thang wrote:Hi there, WhiteDove! I'm so happy you found your way out of scientology and found your way here, and you now find yourself able to post a bit. I look forward to hearing your story - especially the leaving part!

Hi Deb and thanks
I already told the leaving part girl
Its when I decided to take my medication. Thats when I made my choice. And nothing happened. Scientologists just decided to stay away from me.
Which is JUST FINE by me.
Those close to me that are still Scientologists havent let me down. Not much I can say but still. I havent lost them.
They dont agree but I feel so strongly about my decision and the why I did it I guess they just dont know what to say.
And the fact that I wasnt helped either by Scientology.
Not much they can argue here about.
Whitedove

And to those I didnt acknowledge, thank you for your warm welcome.
You are wonderful people. I mean that!

Wow Blue Streak. On the dot eh? :) I must say, I have read the relation between Scientology and satanism. What LRH did in the 40s with Alex Crowley. It really gives me the creeps. Never ever in my wildest dreams I would of tought this in the past. When I joined, its because I wanted the world to be a better place and the way Scientology was presented to me was appealing. I was reading basic things that I already noticed in the world but no one ever talked about around me. I was in awe basically. I never tought how insidious it was. I learned over the years. as time went by, little things here and there that were contradictory. Take the Credo of Scientology. I mean, how can they say they accept people from all religion. Its such an obvious lie (once you have enough information to understand). No way you can be catholic and a Scientologist. How about 'what is greatness'. That was my favorite reference. RPF as an example is totally the opposite of that. Seeing SO members screaming at staf...