Burning Bridges

Share your personal experiences with others. We're not here to judge or criticise, but to share and support.

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kate
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Burning Bridges

Post by kate » Tue May 31, 2005 4:11 pm

Dear all,

One of the things that Scn does so well is to make one afraid to publicly come out in criticism of them or to quit. My husband has asked me several times why I just don't tell them "I quit." He can't understand the fear those two words generates in me. He called it brainwashing and I know he is right.

Yesterday, he and I were playing around--discussing the Twelve Step Program used by susch groups as AA and Overeaters Anon to help addicts of all kinds to recover. We want to write a book--Twelve Steps to Recovery from Scientology.

The marketing ploy--This is the only book about Scientology you will ever have to buy!

I said we could call the new organization SAW (Scientology Anonymous Worldwide) It has subchapters...SOA (Sea Org Anonymous) and my favorite OSA (Org Staff Anonymous)

Hello, my name is Catherine Jacob aka Catherine Boucher (widow to John Boucher 1954-2001) aka Catherine Pool. I am a Recovering Scientologist.

From this point forward I am not going to be afraid. I will be posting under my real name from now on.

Catherine Jacob}}}

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Post by olska » Tue May 31, 2005 5:08 pm

Kate,

Congratulations on overcoming your fear.

IMO, the Twelve Step program used first used in AA and now used by groups for many, many issues could easily be adapted to make an excellent program for recovery from scientology and possibly other cults.

I was involved in a Twelve-Step program (not AA) for awhile; it was a life-changing experience for me and many others that I know; and though I did not become involved for that particular reason, it was part of my "road out" of dependence on scientology.

I am curious: Will you be modeling your program and book on the AA Twelve Steps, or are you starting fresh with an entirely different program and steps?

If you plan to use the AA Twelve Steps, you might also want to look at the AA Twelve Traditions, which are an integral part of the AA Twelve-Step program.

AA stands for Alcoholics Anonymous, and it is traditional in the AA and other Twelve Step programs for people to give only their first name, to remain anonymous, and to keep the discussions at meetings focused on their common issue (e.g., alcoholism, drug addiction, food addiction, whatever).

Of course, what people do in their lives outside the Twelve-Step meetings is their own business; and many non-anonymous friendships and business relationships have formed amongst people who first met at a Twelve-Step meeting.

Some people have the mistaken idea that the only reason for anonymity (in Twelve Step programs, and here as well) is fear of one's private life being revealed. While that may be true for some (and their private life is indeed protected), the primary reason for anonymity in Twelve Step programs is expressed in Tradition # 12, which states:

Tradition #12: Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles above personalities.

I hope you will share more about your project with us here. I offer to you my experience as a Twelve-Step participant, and as a researcher, writer, and editor if you need any feedback or help with it.

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James
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Post by James » Tue May 31, 2005 5:29 pm

Hello Kate,
I was reading your story which you posted earlier and was deeply touched by it. I'm glad you're on the way to recover from all these wounds.

Congratulations to your power and courage to come out!

I think this group would be a good idea. Go for it.

James
Love and compassion are not part of the tone scale

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Post by snowshdw » Tue May 31, 2005 6:05 pm

Congratulations on sharing who you really are. Your husband is right,, Scn is like the little man behind the curtain in the wizard of OZ,, the internet has pulled the curtain aside.

Your story is tragic, and painful, but also important. If it would not be too upsetting to you, it would be great if you could fill it in and flesh it out and have it available on Lermanet and Factnet and all the other boards, so those that come behind you can read and learn.
blessings,
nancy

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Post by dakasc » Tue May 31, 2005 6:38 pm

Kate,
Congratulations on having the courage to come out. I plan on coming out too if my relatives ever leave the cult. I just don't see it happening at this point.

kate
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Post by kate » Tue May 31, 2005 7:19 pm

Olska,

I will have to find your references. I started this idea as a joke, but as I looked up the Twelve Step Program on the Net I saw how I had already done three of the steps myself. Although I had left...I had not stopped thinking like a scnist. Until I did Step One..knowing that something was wrong and that it had to change. Then the Steps two and Three had been working in the background as I worked through all the trouble John and I had. There is a Divine Source and with his help and grace I can make it...I tried to communicate some of this to John, but I was still very much under the spell of Scn at the time, so I didn't do a very good job. His sister tried harder, but to no avail.

Since I had started to look at this like a joke, I was surprised when I found it was workable. I have to go back to look at the other steps...

My husband also did a Twelve Step program for AA...he reminded me that it was for addicts and "once an alcoholic always an alcoholic" and he didn't think that once you were a Scninst that you were always a Scnist. I tried to explain to him how little thoughts always poke up and you fall back into the thinking of an Scnist...such as when someone has a cold..."what is he/she PTS to? Cancer..."out 2D?" Blindness..."overts?" And automatically thinking about conditions.
I posted my full name because they can't hurt me anymore and Ladybird has already blown any cover I might have had, so I might as well come out in the open.

One of the holds over us the Scn practices is our reluctance to turn and fight...as group they act like bullies in a schoolyard. }
Catherine}}

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mickwenlock
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Post by mickwenlock » Tue May 31, 2005 7:37 pm

Catherine,

You should be congratulated - taking that first step out into the open is a tough one. It is also the big step to leaving it behind.

You are right about the 'thinking' coming back to hit you upside the head, sometimes when you least expect it. but that too will fade.

I don't think Scientology is an addiction, it's not something that I have ever felt an urge to return to or that I cannot do without. It does , however, inflict very deep and long lasting scars.

Good luck to you!!

Mick
[i] "This ain't no upwardly mobile freeway,
This is the road - to hell"[/i]
Chris Rea

olska
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Post by olska » Tue May 31, 2005 8:33 pm

Catherine,

Thanks for your thoughts.

First, I support you in revealing your true identity -- that's a choice that does take courage given the Co$'s dirty tricks. And anyway, this is not a Twelve-Step meeting.

True, the AA view is that "once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic;" and the alcoholics that I know who have recovered through the AA program all agree, and they work the program in two ways: 1) abstain completely from alcohol; and 2) work the 12 steps.

But consider that for some of the other-issue programs that use the 12 steps, it is not quite that clearcut.

A good example is Overeaters Anonymous. One cannot simply stop eating, but must look at the addictive aspects of one's eating behavior and separate that from eating food in order to nourish the body and remain healthy.

To adapt the Twelve Steps to recovery from Scientology i think the primary task is finding the "right item" to fill in the blank in Step One:

We admitted we were powerless over [_______] -- that our lives had become unmanageable.

For AA and AlAnon, the word "alcohol" goes in that blank; for other "issues" the wording is different.

What would it be for a Scientology or cult recovery program?

Offhand, I don't know. I think it would need to be a word or phrase that expresses the vulnerability, the "Achilles Heel" if you will, that brought us into the cult in the first place.

And/or something we all had in common in the way that drinking alcohol to excess is common to alcoholics, promiscuity is common to sex addicts, uncontrolled spending is common to people in Debtors Anonymous, gambling to gamblers, food to overeaters, etc.

Something to ponder.

"Religious addiction" is a manifestation recognized by some in the field of addiction treatment and recovery -- you might want to do a google search and read up on that.

I've seen miracles happen as a result of the Twelve Step program and I know it has saved millions of lives. Nothing quite compares to the love and support of people who've also been there, done that, and managed to find their way to sanity -- we see that here in the sharing of personal stories.

That sharing might be enough; but still, an adaptation of the Twelve Steps for cult devotees is something worth looking into, I think.

tammy
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Post by tammy » Tue May 31, 2005 9:57 pm

Catherine, Congratulations on coming out. You have been through so much and have so much to offer.

I'm sorry for saying more than you wanted known. I had recognized your post in your real name back in DEC on ars about scn sending promo to your husband 3 years after he died, and looked up the obit and everything then.

I was putting the peices together when you came here a couple months later and told the whole story. I did work for OSA after all, and I did think you had told your post and location when you were talking about ITO. There are not alot of blind execs around, either. Scientology lumps any one disabled as PTS, etc., so it was quite a good reflection on your strength and determination that you got accepted for training at ITO, and an SO contract. Too bad it is all a lie, there are alot of good people who fell for it and gave their all.

I am so proud of you for being brave enough to share your story, it is so important to expose the truth about this cult and let others know they are not alone.

I am sure you saved alot of lives.

I am very anxious to come out and tell my story, too. I will soon.

Until then, please accept my apologies. I hope it didn't make you do anything you weren't ready for.

Sincerely, Ladybird

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Post by sea_ogre » Wed Jun 01, 2005 1:50 am

Good Work Kate!

Write the book!

I self published a book in 1998 and sold 30,000 copies. If you need help or advice on self publishing I will be happy to help. I took a self publishing course by Dan Poynter in Santa Barbara that was fabulous and helped avoid many mistakes.

I am fulfilling my dream prior to getting in to scientology of going to Alaska. I will be gone for six weeks as I am driving. I will check in every chance I get to the clambake website. I will dig for a few clams in Alaska too.

Best of Success to you!

I do think one of the really big addictions to scientology is the Hope Factor. If you lose this then there is no longer an addiction for many.
Take Care, Sea Ogre

P.S. Follow your dreams, follow your passion, and follow your bliss!

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lermanet_com
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Post by lermanet_com » Wed Jun 01, 2005 3:57 am

To Kate,

When I was in 2nd grade, we lived on top of an embassy on Mass Ave near Dupont Circle, - it was a
big old building with a long hallway past dark stairs, to a kitchen... there was a closet at the top of stairs. For a very long time I was so scared to walk down that hallway past the closet. Because I knew there were monsters in there.

I liked going to the kitchen for a snack, I did not like negotiating past the monsters in the closet.

One evening, I was determined, I was tired of having the problem..so......with clenched fists, I grit my teeth, stepped out into the hallway to the closet, and I reached for the handle...and tore it open, and then I closed my eyes and I yelled:

"I'm not afraid of you anymore,
go away and never come back again"



I think I gained some weight that fall, and is there a moral to this story?

Oftimes people tell you to have faith.

The lesson is, first: you must have faith in yourself.


Thank you Kate, every person who comes forward
makes it just a little easier for the NEXT GUY,
just as every person who went before us, made it
easier for us....
Do you THINK scientology works?
Then read [url=http://ocmb.xenu.net/ocmb/viewtopic.php?t=20255&start=285]THIS PAGE[/url] here on XENU.NET

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lucy skywalker
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Post by lucy skywalker » Wed Jun 01, 2005 4:00 am

Catherine,

Congratulations! To me you took a giant leap rather than a step! Getting past the fear takes a tremendous amount of courage.

I think your book is a wonderful idea. I hope you go for it. There is much information about cults and how they operate, but I have found very little on actually recovering from being in one.

All the best to you!

lucy
www.exscientologykids.com/
www.exscn.net
[i]beyond_horizons ... rest in peace dear friend[/i]

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magoo1
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Post by magoo1 » Wed Jun 01, 2005 4:57 am

Catherine........

Way to go!!! Man, that is terrific :)
I'm super happy to read your posts, hear of your courage in coming out! This is a huge step, and each person who does makes it that much easier for others to do so.

The Internet is your best friend, as you've found out...and many are here to learn from you, help you, share with you. Isn't it SUCH a trip???

I love it, I'm smiling......please keep posting. Your story is VITAL, as is each person's who was in the cult, and is finally free.

Blessings, :)

Tory/Magoo~~
PS: Sea Orge........I want to come!!! :
Man that sounds terrrrific. Have a super time, and please e-mail me, too.
[color=#0000FF][b]Tory/Magoo~Dancing in the Moonlight~
In for 30+/Escaped out in 2000
Declared SP (SP 6^with Cumulative Cluster)
Free at LAST! Leap and the Net will appear! Make the Leap :)

Burbank, CA
http//www.youtube.com/ToryMagoo44
(818) 588-3044[/b][/color]

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magoo1
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Post by magoo1 » Wed Jun 01, 2005 4:59 am

P.S. You're not related to Cass Pool, are you?
[color=#0000FF][b]Tory/Magoo~Dancing in the Moonlight~
In for 30+/Escaped out in 2000
Declared SP (SP 6^with Cumulative Cluster)
Free at LAST! Leap and the Net will appear! Make the Leap :)

Burbank, CA
http//www.youtube.com/ToryMagoo44
(818) 588-3044[/b][/color]

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magoo1
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Post by magoo1 » Wed Jun 01, 2005 5:10 am

PS: Your husband is absolutely right, they are nothing but hot air, basically working daily trying to instill fear in others, while 'charming' those who'll listen, on the other hand. What a pathetic existence.

Just as the Wizard of OZ tried to instill fear, so do they. The only difference is once the curtain was pulled back.......he admitted his foolish ways and quit.

They on the other hand, will work at this fear as long as there is one last person to listen.

Thankfully, everyone here, and around the world exposing their abuses have pulled the curtain back FOREVER. Actually, they themselves have royally assisted in pulling their own curtain back, due to their skillions of posts trying to attack critics. That alone has driven their "Enemies" Up into #2 and often #1 positions on the Net.

Way to go, OSA :roll: And honestly, way to go one and all :) My best!

Tory/Magoo~~
[color=#0000FF][b]Tory/Magoo~Dancing in the Moonlight~
In for 30+/Escaped out in 2000
Declared SP (SP 6^with Cumulative Cluster)
Free at LAST! Leap and the Net will appear! Make the Leap :)

Burbank, CA
http//www.youtube.com/ToryMagoo44
(818) 588-3044[/b][/color]

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